Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Steve/Tony, past Howard/Steve.
Universe: AU(Earth-199999), Timetravel
Warning: Slash, M/M,
Summary: After opening his eyes in the not so distant past Tony discovers that sometimes some truths must and should remain hidden.
He groaned in pain, feeling as if his head had been split in two, clutching his head he rolled to his side and blinked slowly to try to clear his vision. He took in his surrounding, his eyes roaring all around the place, going against the idea of moving his head just yet. He was indoor, in some kind of storage that he didn't recognize.
He closed his eyes and breathed, trying hard to summon his last memories. They had been fighting against Loki, everything had been fine until he had seen Loki summoning some kind of magic with all intend of hitting Steve and being the great hero he was he decided to take the hit instead. He was sure that they had been fighting outdoors and he seriously doubted that Steve would leave him on the floor in an old storage which meant that whatever magic Loki had hit him with had teleported him. How much he hated magic.
He laid there for a while, waiting for the buzzing in the back of his head to calm down, some minutes passed before he decided to stand. Slowly he dragged himself to the nearest shelf and pulled himself up with much help from the furniture, still he felt quite proud when he managed to stand without support.
Now on his feet he took a long look at the storehouse, it had struck him as odd when he was laying on the floor but now that he had a better view of it he knew there was something wrong with the situation. The storage somehow looked misplaced, like it was lacking something but he wasn't sure of what was missing. The thought on itself was odd because he was sure that he hadn't been there before thus he had no mean of knowing if something was missing yet the feeling was there.
He took a few steps forward in direction to the door, deciding that the only way to solve all that was first of all finding where he was. He stumbled a little bit at first but his steps got steadier as he walked and by the time he reached the door he was walking almost perfectly fine. He reached the doorknob and twisted it, but before he opened the door he stared at the doorknob. It was an old model, a discontinued one, mostly seen at old houses yet what caught his attention was the fact that it was brand new, it didn't even have a stain and that was an odd occurrence because Tony was pretty sure that those weren't being sold anymore.
The feeling of something being amiss sank on the pit of his stomach. He hurried and made his way out of the storage and found his self on a long and seemingly endless corridor. He started walking through it not even stopping to check his surroundings, and the more he walked the more the feeling grew. It was suffocating him, it was as if he knew, at least at a subconscious level, what was wrong yet he couldn't figure it out.
He stopped abruptly when he heard a voice, for a moment his body just stopped working and he was froze in time, the voice as distant as it was, sounded surprisingly familiar and he laughed silently as he shook his head because he must still be dizzy from before as there was no way for him to be hearing that voice.
Still curiosity got the best of him and he made his way to the origin of the voice, following the corridor to a white door to his right. There is a low chuckled followed by a moan, and the feeling of something being wrong returns with much more force than before. He peeks at the room not feeling confident enough to do anything else. There is a man inside the dim lighted room, he is giving his back to the door and is leaning against someone, hands on a desk as he support his weight with it. Another moan scape whoever is beneath the man and Tony swallows hard knowing that he shouldn't be prying but even so he is unable to move, he stares at the man's back knowing it too well to not recognize it and he felt his heart speed, the feeling grows within him.
"Steve?" His voice came out weak, the nervousness sipping through it and he bit his lips disliking the sound, yet as weak as it was the sound was enough to startle the man, who turned around immediately and blue eyes met brown ones.
"I-" Steve looked scared for a moment but as soon as his eyes registered Tony's frame his expression passed from scare to confuse. "Who are you?"
Tony felt his knees grow weak, suddenly the foreign feeling of something wrong made sense, whatever Loki had hit him with didn't just teleport him, it took him to the past and as exciting as it sounded finding your boyfriend, who still didn't know you at the time, all over someone else wasn't exactly great.
"Sorry." He blurted, feeling a little too nervous about the situation. "Didn't mean to pry." Steve was frowning at him, probably trying to remember him.
"Who is that?" Asked whoever was beneath the blond and once again Tony felt himself freeze, there was no way that he was hearing right, there was no way for it to be that voice and yet he couldn't deny it the moment a head peeked at him from Steve's side.
"Dad." It was a whisper barely audible to him let alone the other occupants of the room, nonetheless it brought upon Tony the full weight of what was happening. "You gotta be joking me."
He stumbled slightly, taking a few step back as he put a hand on his mouth, the situation still to surreal for him to take it. He leaned against the door frame and slip down to the floor, not feeling strong enough to remain standing anymore. He passed both hands through his hair and let his head rest on them, there were so many things wrong with his current situation.
"Whoa whoa, are you alright pal?" Howard asked as he ran to Tony, leaning down to take a better look of him. Tony moved his head to his side slightly, his gaze falling on a hickey on Howard's exposed neck and he felt a bitter sensation grows in him, he wasn't alright.
"Be careful Howard, he could be a spy for all you know." Steve walked to Howard and leaned slightly putting both hands on his shoulders, his gaze never leaving Tony as if daring him to harm Howard.
Of the many nightmares he had in his life there had never been one remotely close to what was happening. He felt betrayed, never had Steve said anything about feeling attracted to Howard, never had he mentioned being attracted to anyone who wasn't Peggy, never had he ever mentioned being engaged in a relationship with another man before. But still it wasn't the fact that Steve had lied to him what bothered him the most, it was the fact that he felt jealousy of his dad, of the one who was going to lose Steve and search for him his whole life, and of the fact that he knew that no matter what he does he wouldn't ever surpass his father.
He was no more than a bad replacement for Howard, had always been, will probably always be, and he was that even to the one person he though was different, to the one person that mean the world for him. Howard was the one person he had always tried to be and the one person he always hated being, everyone has always expected him to be his replacement, Obi had, the chairmen of SI had, America had and even Steve had, but he couldn't.
Every time he tried following Howard's step he ended messing things up, every time he did he messed himself a little bit more and in the end he stopped trying because he knew he wasn't half the man his dad had been. He started disappointing everyone because having them expects nothing of him was slightly less painful than having to pretend to be something he would never reach. Nevertheless he was here again faced with the sore reality of life and he realized that the affection he though was directed to him before was no more than a remnant of whatever love Steve felt for his dad and he felt himself wither slightly by this thought.
"I'm ok, again sorry for interrupting." It took him a moment to realize that he had been the one speak, his voice was void of emotion and felt impersonal to him as if someone else was speaking. He stood, his gaze never leaving the floor, he wasn't sure of what he was doing but his head seemed to know what to do even when his heart had stopped beating, it always knew what to do.
"You sure you are alright?" He looked at his dad, a smile that didn't reach his eyes fixed on his lips, many years of practice making it look perfect.
"I am." I will be "thanks for the concern." He turned around eager to leave the scenario that caused him to fade a little more every time he breathed.
"Hey." He paused at Steve's voice and his heart tugged in his ribs, he didn't need to ask to know what Steve was about to say, so he nodded.
"Don't worry I won't tell anyone." A promise was sealed, with whom he wasn't sure and he leaved in hurry before anything else could be said, and most importantly before he faded completely away.
The second time he was at the storage it felt colder and darker, He sat on the floor, his chin resting on his knees, arm surrounding his legs as he let his thoughts roam free. He didn't know how long he was there before a bright light illuminated his face and a few seconds later someone was kneeling in front of him and a hand was on his face.
"Tony, good grief you had me worried." He looked up to meet Steve's eyes, same blue one that had looked at him accusingly before, and he looked away the events on the small room still to fresh.
"Sorry." He said without much thought and Steve laughed, leaning his forehead on Tony's.
"What are you apologizing for you dummy?" Steve kissed him lightly on the nose and Tony leaned into the touch, a part of him was screaming that he was being stupid, that he wouldn't be a suitable replace of his dad, but he didn't care he hadn't been able to pretend for Obi, nor for the Chairmen, or America, yet he would risk pretending for Steve because he was the one thing he was never able to let go and Tony hated being alone more than he hated being Howard.
"Come on let's go home" Steve offered him a hand and he took it without hesitation, letting himself be lead to the portal, not before giving the storage one last glance, he was going home yet he knew that a part of him would never leave this place.
A gift for DoomSymphony(Saixkosmos) who asked me to write a fic where Tony surprise Past Steve and Howard together.
