In the beginning, there was god, and his utter loneliness. God, feeling like a solitary ant in a colony, realized that his loniless was surmounting, and he was jacking off WAY more than was typically normal. If there is such thing as typically normal when you're the only being in the universe.

So he decided to make Adam and Eve. But in his attempt, he realized that Adam and Eve were floating around in space, sans atmosphere and air, and though it was highly amusing to watch them attempt to "know each other" without the essentials of gravity, they would be dead in a matter of milliseconds.

So he made Earth and the Sun and the ocean and whatnot, the animals, the plants, and the parking meters, all so he could create Adam and Eve and watch them screw around. Both figuratively and literally.

But then they had to go and listen to god's rival Frat brother, Lucifer, who was both persuasive and malicious, and convinced them that figs would make their sex life better. Thus was created the first misleading advertisement. And the first consequences.