All characters belong to Amano Akira (glory)

Warning: yaoi~ cussing (cause it's gokudera)

and... yea. I got bored, and this sucks, but please bare with me. all critiques are welcomed and respected

rank: teen 15+

8059 desu~ ^^

domo~ XD

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It seemed like he was always angry at me. Well, he was angry at the fan girls he had collected, but that was different. I was only a baseball idiot to him but he was... my world. But I can't love him. He's a guy and I'm a guy. I can't love him. I just... can't.

I see him almost everyday. I never wanted this to happen. When hanging around someone for a long enough period of time, make sure you don't fall. I keep telling myself that I don't like him but every time it see him he just... he looks so cute and when he smiles at Tsuna. I have to hold myself back before I collapse. It's just that he made me fall gradually, but when I realised it, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I can't live with him anymore. It will hurt me so much... and he would hate me even more than he does now.

My name is Takeshi Yamamoto and the boy I'm obsessing over is Hayato Gokudera. A guy liking another guy, that's just... wrong. I can't live with seeing him everyday. I can't. I'm going to live somewhere else.

***

"You what?!"

"I'm transferring schools." I repeated as Tsuna and Gokudera looked at me in shock.

"Why? I thought you loved Namimori!" Tsuna asked, baffled.

"I do. I just... I can't stay here anymore. Something's come up and..." I was having trouble finding words, "I just can't stay here anymore."

"Where will you go?" Gokudera asked, trying to sound like he didn't care. It wasn't working.

"Come on!" I smiled, "Don't look so sad! You can still have fun here without me!"

"But you're one of our best friends." Tsuna said, "You can't just... leave!"

"I have to. Tsuna, trust me. If you were in my position, you would do the same thing." I said, looking him in the eyes, then out the window.

"I can't believe it. How long will you stay here for then? When are you leaving?" Tsuna asked, looking concerned.

"This is my last week here. Then I'll go to my new school." I said, glancing at Gokudera, who seemed totally baffled by the new information.

I looked out the window again. The sky was a pale gray with wisps' of blue came through the edges of clouds. A few birds flew through the air. But as peaceful as that scene may have seemed, my mind was in a hurricane. Why did he look so upset? He can't be upset; he hates me! This is so stupid. I'm going to have to tell them the reason sometime. But I can't; the last thing I need right now is Gokudera yelling at me. But then again, the second worst thing would be for me to tell him. I won't tell him. I won't. I can't.

***

The word quickly spread around that I was leaving and a whole bunch of girls got really sad. I got almost 50 love letters that week. It was kind of ridiculous, but I guess it couldn't be helped.

On my last day, everyone was crowding around me, telling me goodbye and good luck. It was a good thing that my new school- The Kitsuki Academy - was the second best school for baseball in Japan. It was a good enough excuse, for now. Everything was moving so fast. It was at the last period that I realised how much time I had spent with Gokudera and Tsuna, and how it all seemed to pass so quickly. I also realised that's what it's like with love, or... my love at least. It takes a while to build up, but in the end, you realise you fell so fast. Maybe, leaving was a bad idea...

The bell rang shattering my thoughts. I couldn't turn back now. As I gathered up my books, Gokudera came walking over. I glanced at him; he looked very upset. I wasn't sure if it was sadness, anger, empathy... or whatever. But he had that look on his face, as if to say What the hell are you doing?

"My house is just a block past yours. We're walking." He said, then turned and walked out of the classroom.

I stared at the back of his head for a second. "What?"

"Damn... I hate how he just makes decisions on his own like that." Hiro growled, walking over to me as I shook my head and followed him.

By the time me and Gokudera got outside, it was raining. We had to share my umbrella because he forgot his. We walked in silence to my house, not saying a word as our feet splashed through the puddles that littered the ground. At my house, I slipped the umbrella into Gokudera's hand.

"This is my stop." I said, smiling lightly, "Try not to get to wet."

"It's pouring, you idiot. How will I not get wet? I don't have an-"

I cut him off, "Use mine. I have another anyways."

"Yamamoto?"

"Yes?"

He looked me straight in the eyes, "Why are you leaving?"

I frowned, "Gokudera. I would tell you but.... I just can't..."

He searched my eyes for a second, the looked at his feet, "Fine. If you won't tell me openly, I'll find the reason some other way. Tsuna and everyone else may not see through your lies but I do. I'll figure it out one day Yamamoto, I promise you I will. And I'll get you to come back. Because... you're my friend Yamamoto. And I don't want to see Jyudaime get upset over this."

I froze for a second. He saw right through me. Out of everyone in the whole school, Hayato Gokudera, the badass with the best grades, saw through all my lies. Wow...

"I'll bring your umbrella back when I've figured out why you left. Until then," He raised his hand, waving slightly, "Good luck."

I grabbed his hand, "I l-...."

I couldn't say it. I choked. I hung my head, "Thank you Gokudera."

He nodded, slipping away from my grasp and walking out into the rain. I watched him walk away as I, myself, was getting soaked without an umbrella. I should have told him. It was the perfect chance. I just missed it.

I waited until he was out of sight, and I was totally soaked. I turned, walking up to the door and opening it. I took off my shoes, which were dripping with water, and set them on the rubber mat. I shrugged off my jacket, hanging it on a hook above the rubber mat, so the drops of water landed on the mat. I grabbed my bag, walked into the living room and emptied it. My papers and workbooks were all wet, so I laid them all out to dry.

"Ah! You're home Yamamoto. How was your last day at Namimori?" Dad came in, rubbing his hands on a towel.

"Fine." I answered, trying to hide my sadness as I uncrumpled unfinished math homework. I smoothed it out, laying it on the carpet. "How's business?"

He laughed, "Same old! I really hope you like your new school, Yamamoto. I bet you you'll get a scholarship!"

As he walked out of the room, I sighed. Even if I do get a scholarship, it won't get Gokudera's attention.

I picked up another piece of paper and turned it over. It was Gokudera's calligraphy. I remember when he gave it to me. We had to do calligraphy in art and he said he didn't like it, even though the teacher said it was the best in the class. It was the word love, which the teacher made us all right. He said he didn't want it, so I took it. He called me an idiot, I laughed. I smiled gently, fingering the brush strokes he made. I slipped it under the kotatsu, which for some reason, we hadn't put away for spring. I didn't want it to get ruined because of the rain, but the other things could wait. I wouldn't need them anyways.

I slipped my hand into the side pocket of my bag, pulling out three pictures. I lay them out, looking at each one carefully. The first was me when I won my first game while with the Namimori baseball team. I was standing, leaning on the fence while I laughed to something Akira said. But then again, I could only tell it was Akira because he was the only guy I knew who had purple tips at the ends of his hair.

I looked at the second picture, of me and Tsuna. He looked like he was about to hurl as Lambo sat on his head and I laughed. I could see Gokudera in the background, foaming at the mouth because Bianchi was the one who took the picture. I remember Lambo was yelling 'You're a piece of poo!' and Tsuna got really emberassed. That was also the day Gokudera showed me how to multiply fractions.

The third picture was of me and Gokudera. I had my arms over his shoulder and he was glaring at me. He had just said something really mean to Lambo, who was crying on the ground and I was trying to cheer him up. It didn't seem as if he was overly angry at me that time, but he was pissed. I remember, right after that, he tried to break my camera, even if it was Tsuna who took the picture. I guess it really didn't matter, since he didn't break my camera, he just took a blurry picture of the sky as I snatched it away from him.

All those things, those memories I made with Tsuna and Gokudera and the team and everyone else. I would never forget them, no matter how hard I tried. But I didn't want to forget them, not as a person. I wanted to forget my feelings for Gokudera, or else it would consume me.

I stood up as Dad placed a plate of sushi on the kotatsu.

"Eat up!" He grinned, "You need your strength for baseball!"

"Dad, I really don't feel like eating right now. I just-"

"Nonsense! You're still a growing boy! Eat!" He pushed me down so I sat at the kotatsu. "Eat now, and make sure you don't leave one piece of food on that plate."

As he walked out of the room, I stared at the plate. Not wanting to eat, but knowing he would feed me if I didn't; I slowly ate my sushi, choking down each piece. Once I was done, I slowly stood up. I felt like I was about to hurl.

Never mind, I was. I ran to the washroom throwing myself to the floor and holding my head over the bowl as the contents of my stomach was emptied.

I was panting and I felt like total crap as I leaned my head on the edge of the bowl. I thought I had nothing else in my stomach, but then again I was wrong about a lot of things. I threw up again, coughing up my dinner from last night too. I was sure I had nothing left in my stomach, I moaned, holding my stomach tightly. It was going to be a long time until I felt better.

***

"Yamamoto! Pay attention!"

"Oh! Sorry Hideo!" I said, thrusting my arm in the air and catching the ball, then throwing it to second base to get the player out.

"Out!" The umpire called, and the crowd cheered.

Hideo smiled at me, "Nice comeback Yamamoto. And how many times have I told you to called me Coach?"

"Sorry. I'm not used to it yet." I said, walking over to him.

"Alright. Hussle everyone!" He yelled as everyone ran over to the coach. "Kenta, you're up to bat. Norio you're on deck, Yamamoto, you're in the hole."

"Got it." Kenta said, grabbing a helmet and the bat with the weight on it.

"Here." Norio handed me a helmet, "Practice for a bit. You'll use the weight when you're on deck."

I nodded, taking the helmet and putting it on my head.

"You feel alright Yamamoto? You look kind of pale." Fumio said, bending over to look at my face.

I smiled, "Yea. I'm fine."

The truth was I had hardly eaten anything for the past two weeks I was at my new school. Every time I tried to eat, I threw up, so it was really hard to get through the days now. Not that I'm anorexic or bulimic or anything, my body just wouldn't digest it.

Kenta got to first base by the time I got my bat and soon Norio struck out. I slowly walked up to the plate, positioning myself evenly over the plate. I looked hard at the pitcher. His head was down. He threw the ball.

"Ball 1!" The ump called.

I inhaled slowly, and then exhaled, glaring at the pitcher again. He threw the ball. I took a swing.

"Strike!"

"Come on Yamamoto!" Kenta said, since he was now on third base, which he stole.

I tried to concentrate, but the images of the baseball games at Namimori were flooding my head.

"Strike two!"

People were yelling at me, angry that I didn't even move. Then I remembered something. That one time, when Gokudera yelled at me from the stands, 'Do your best Yamamoto!'

He threw the ball, I swung and just as the two collided, there was a wild crack of lightning, then quickly following thunder. I ran as fast as I could to first as Kenta got to home. I ran to second just as the outfielder grabbed the ball from behind him. I ran to third as the ball was whipped at second. I took a gamble, running for home. I saw the ball approaching quickly. I got down and slid into the plate.

"Safe!"

Everyone started cheering loudly. I stood up and the whole team came and tackled me to the ground again.

"You did it Yamamoto!"

"Nice slide!"

"Wooohhh~!"

"Come on boys! Line up!" Hideo said, angry that we were so excited about winning. Well, I wasn't excited. I wasn't anything. I just kept repeating his words in my head. 'Do your best Yamamoto! Do your best Yamamoto! I'll start a riot if you don't try harder!'

We all lined up and shook hands with the other team. Once everyone was done shaking hands, it started pouring. Everyone was running around, grabbing for their things as they rushed to their cars or any place of shelter.

I stood on the pitchers mound, looking at the sky as lightning flashed across it.

"Yamamoto!"

It sounded like a whisper, and since everyone was running around, I guessed I was hearing things again. Then again, I was wrong about a lot of things. In literally 1 minute, everyone was gone but me.

"Yamamoto!"

This time, the voice was loud and clear. It was Gokudera's voice.

I turned around to see him come past the baseball fence and run over to me. My eyes widened, "Gokudera?"

He jumped at me, and did something I never would have expected. He kissed me. He wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me closer to him. I was in total shock. Why is he here? Why is he kissing me? I thought he hated me.

Then something clicked into place.

I kissed him back, closing my eyes, wrapping my arms around his waist and lifting him of the ground. I spun him in a circle as we kissed in the rain, getting soaked to the bone. He made sure my lips were firmly pressed against his, his hand pushing our heads together. Another flash of lightning struck and a crashing thunder rolled in after it. We got a small breath of the damp air and kissed again. We made out for about 7 seconds, and then he broke the kiss, his lips parting from mine softly.

I kept my eyes closed for a second, relishing in the moment. When I opened my eyes, Gokudera was pouting at me.

"Why didn't you tell me? If I had known it was me who made you leave, I wouldn't have been so mean to you." He said, hugging me tightly as I held him off the ground.

"I thought you would... hate me..." I whispered, secretly pinching myself to make sure that I wasn't dreaming.

"I wouldn't hate you. I might have punched you, but I wouldn't hate you." He said, burying his face in my shoulder, "No one knows about this other than Bianchi and me but, I'm bi. And I know it doesn't seem like it and I don't act like it, but I don't want people to think that I'm disgusting. And Yamamoto... If you had told me a week before you left, I would have given you a chance."

I was in shock, "What? But I thought..."

"I have a stupid mind Yamamoto. There's a reason people shouldn't let baseball idiots like you voice their opinions." He kissed my neck lightly, "Nice home run by the way."

"I was thinking of that time you actually cheered for me at a baseball game." I whispered, blushing and finally setting him back on the ground. He looked up at me.

"Listen Yamamoto. Please come back. Everyone misses you." He put his hand on my cheek. "Especially me."

I couldn't help it. I grabbed him, wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed him, long and hard as he kissed back, his arms winding around my neck. His chest pushed against mine as I pulled him closer. There was no room left between us. I took a risk and parted my lips under his. Soon, we were engaged in wet kisses, our tongues fighting over dominancy. I started feeling him up, running my hands down his sides, over his back, through his hair. It seemed as if Gokudera didn't care, or he was too shocked to make a move to shove me away.

Until he did. His hands slammed against my chest and knocked me backwards. I landed on my back, facing the lightning lit sky.

His face popped up to my left, "If you want to make out with me, you have to be my boyfriend."

"Is that a question?" I asked looking at him as his hair dripped from the rain.

"No. It's a suggestion of what you should do." He said.

I sat up, "But what if-"

"Oh my f*cking god! I won't say no! You just shoved your tongue in my mouth and felt me up and I haven't blown you to the f*cking moon yet! You really think I'm gonna say no?" He yelled.

"Yes..." I answered, grinning.

He rolled his eyes as I stood up. I hugged him tightly.

"Just ask already."

"Will you be my boyfriend, Gokudera?"

"Yes." He looked up at me, "Was that so hard?"

"Yes." I grinned.

He kissed me softly. I smiled into the kiss, hugging him.

"So, does this mean you're coming back?" Gokudera asked once we broke.

I smiled, "I dunno. I think I should check with my boyfriend. But then again, I'm wrong about a lot of things."

We laughed and Gokudera handed me my umbrella. I grabbed my baseball stuff and offered to walk him home, which he surprisingly let me do. He said that after the first week, he wont be nice to me anymore, but we'll still be together.

And we walked home, under our umbrella, in the pouring rain, just like before.