Summary: A look into Hope's real journal. Rated M because her mouth is bit dirty.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Drama! series. It is the work of Paul Ruditis, and I am not him.

Not a Dead Puppy

It finally happened, and I'm a bit upset. I feel awful saying it, but it's still true. I love Bryan with all my heart and am glad that he found someone after all this time, especially one that he feels so strongly about, but did it really have to be my ex? Not that this was unexpected, though it still hurts a tad. I mean, Drew and I dated for around three years and now he's going out with my GBF. Bryan hates that I call him that, and that is exactly why I do it. It's fun to push his buttons, especially since he does it to me plenty.

So I've already talked about how things with Drew felt kind of weird. He seemed like he wanted to be my boyfriend, but didn't really want to do anything. I guess it was more he wanted to be a boyfriend but not my boyfriend. Sure, we kissed occasionally and we held hands. That was as far as it went though. We made out a few times, but it wasn't a very frequent occurrence and didn't go any further. That's right, I still have my silver unicorn necklace. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

On that note, I don't get why Bryan freaked out so much about it. It's none of his fucking business what Sam and Eric do behind closed doors. I mean, if they were humping at his feet, then he could bitch. However, they were not, so again, none of his damn business. I guess I do slightly understand it. Sam told him how to know when it happened, making him think it was something she would talk to him about, and then she didn't. The thing is, some things are just girl talk. Gay or not, Bryan still has, as he has frequently pointed out, a penis. And that penis naturally makes him less understanding.

So back to where I was before. I was right about the Drew not really wanting to be with me thing. I found out that he actually ran to me right after his first kiss with Bryan. He was afraid of his own feelings and was trying squash them. So basically, I was his beard. He was using me. He may like me, but he never felt that way about me and was never going to It just makes me feel so…

You know what, it's actually not that big of a deal. I guess I just felt a little upset at first because ii didn't have anyone and now both of my best friends do. And to make it better, one of my friends is dating my newly gay ex-boyfriend. But Drew and Bryan are happy, and that's what is important.

Now, I've already covered this stuff. I guess I'm just saying it all again because it has recently flashed through my head due to recent events. By recent events, I mean that I am the only one now in our little trio that still has their innocence. I think that's why I jumped to Bryan's freakout. I felt it was hypocritical of him. He made a big stink about Sam not telling him about her first time, and then pulled the same thing when he did it. If it weren't for her boyfriend, Sam still might not know.

You see, two nights ago Samneric (It still amuses me that their names are those of the twins in Lord of the Flies) were hanging out and talking, like boyfriend and girlfriend do. Well Eric let it slip that Drew isn't a virgin anymore. Don't ask me how, I just know it happened. The next day, a.k.a yesterday morning, Sam came running to me wondering about why I hadn't told her that Drew and I had had sex while we were dating. Eric hadn't actually said who it had been with, but Sam did the math herself. I quickly informed her that that had never happened. This left her confused and pondering for the rest of the day. I added it up right then and there. I tried to warn Bryan, but I never found a time that day when the two of us were alone together. I figured I would just try harder today. Well that idea didn't work out so well.

I was all set to find an excuse to pull Bryan and myself away from Sam for a few minutes to talk. However, I never got the chance. Sam and I were just sitting and talking, like we usually do in the morning. Bryan and Drew walked by us, hand in hand, Bryan saw us and they gave each other a quick kiss goodbye before Bryan came over to us and Drew went off to find Eric. That was when Sam's eyes bulged out with realization. She pointed an accusatory finger at Bryan. "Hypocrite!" she announced.

"What?" Bryan asked, clearly confused.

Sam explained that she found out about Drew and knew it wasn't with me. Since his only other serious relationship had been with Bryan, she put two and two together. It just took seeing them together to make it click. They argued for a few minutes, but seeing how Sam is a bit more reasonable than Bryan, at least about those kinds of things, they got over it quickly. It's too bad the start of that conversation had attracted the attention of the leader of a certain Terrible Trio.

Yes, Holly Mayflower had heard the whole thing. In minutes, she and Anorexis were broadcasting the news across the school. The school was buzzing for about an hour, until Mr. Randall announced that the Spring show would be Wicked. I guess Bryan's lucky in that aspect. He doesn't like having the spotlight on him, and whenever he is in a "scandal," it is quickly overshadowed by something else.

Oh, and did I mention that he's directing the junior production? So much for him getting a break from the attention.

Author's Note: This is the first time I've been able to write anything in a while. It just hit me. And I think there need to be a lot more Drama! stories. I know it skips around a lot and doesn't have much of a conclusion, but it's a journal entry so I figured it works. That's how mine look. So please, please, PLEASE let me know what you think. I really want to hear from you guys.