Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight saga in any way, shape or form.

Carlisle wraps his arms around Esme's waist as they gaze out of the large picture window that allows them a view of their new property. The thick forest surrounds them. Carlisle rests his chin on Esme's shoulder and kisses her cheek. The orange haze of the setting sun casts over them.

"I'm glad you like it, my love. I worried that you wouldn't." He says.

"Why wouldn't I love it?" Esme asks without taking her eyes off the peaceful scene.

"Well, there isn't much for free property. Most is covered by trees. And-" He explains, but is quickly cut off.

"What do you call a fight between two guys over a slut? A tug-of-whore!"

"And because the rooms are so close." Carlisle sighs.

Esme scrunches her eyebrows together and suddenly the peaceful woods doesn't seem so peaceful anymore. Her and Carlisle's bedroom is at the perfect location of the property for this time of day. The sun casts it's beautiful glow into the room as it sets. Esme loves it, and Carlisle does his best to be with her during these times, but they can only share these moments once or twice every week. But it seems that this sunset is already ruined.

"I'll be right back, dear." Carlisle promises. He kisses his wife on the cheek again before leaving the room. He shuts the door softly before putting on a firm face and taking nine steps to the sitting room where his three boys are flopped over on the couch. They're all laughing until their father appears. Carlisle's eyes land on Emmett. "What makes you think that that kind of language is acceptable in this house?"

"Aw, c'mon Dad. It was just a joke." Emmett says lightheartedly. "It's not a big deal."

"It's not a big deal? Esme is right in the other room." Carlisle pointed to the jointing wall, then at the hall on the other side of the living room. "And your wife is right down the hall."

"Who do you think told me the joke?" Emmett laughs. Edward joins in and even Jasper can't help but crack a smile. They're quickly hushed, though.

"Emmett Dale, if I hear another joke like that, I'll take you out to the woodshed." Carlisle threatens. Emmett huffs and sinks down lower in the plush couch. "We do not talk like with ladies present. Understand?"

"Yeah," Emmett mumbles. He earns a curt nod from Carlisle before his father returns to his own bedroom. Emmett rolls his eyes. "He's so old-school. Ladies don't care if they hear dirty jokes. Hell, Rosalie knows more dirty jokes than anyone else!"

"Seriously. He's stuck in ancient times." Edward adds on. "They have equal rights now. That means equal rights to hear dirty jokes, too."

Carlisle ignores his children's complaints and returns to Esme. The sunset is practically over with now, but he still wants to spend the last few moments of it with his wife. He kisses her cheek again.

"Which reminds me, how can you tell the difference between a hungry girl and a horny girl?" Edward asks. "By where she puts the cucumber!"

The living room roars with laughter. Carlisle sighs and looks at Esme with apologetic eyes.

"Go do what you have to do." Esme sighs.

"I'm sorry, honey. I'll get them back in line, and then we'll spend the entire night together." He promises before darting out of his bedroom. He grabs Edward by his arm, pulling him to his feet and towards the backdoor.

"Come on, Carlisle! This isn't fair!" Edward protests, knowing exactly where Carlisle is taking him because of his joke. "You said if Emmett told another, not me!"

"I think I made it clear that those jokes aren't acceptable, yet you decided to tell another the moment I left the room. You know how defiance is handled in this household."

Edward groans as they leave the house and he's practically dragged to the old wooden building off to the side of the property. Carlisle pops the door open and gives Edward a little shove into the small structure. He gestures the sawhorse in the middle of the woodshed.

"You know the drill, son. Bend over."

Hey guys! So if you read my story Control then you already know a little about the property they're on. I've wanted to do a story with them on that property, and I finally got an idea to write about. So please review and tell me what you think! The next chapter should be up soon.