Jude starts taking photos whenever Zero isn't looking. And sometimes even when he is. He tells himself that he wants to capture the little moments, like that one Sunday morning when Jude stumbled out of their bedroom, still half asleep, to find Zero standing in front of the kitchen window, bright morning light streaming in, a halo around him that was so bright, Jude could barely make out the side of Zero's face. He remembers the lump that formed in his throat and how he had to force himself to look away, to blink, to tell his heart to calm the fuck down.

It's these little moments that make Jude so fucking happy that he pushed for what he wanted, that he cut Zero off when he did. It strikes him sometimes that maybe he was too hard on Zer- Gideon, and feels like an asshole.

::

I.

It all starts innocuously at first. Zero is laughing at something Jude said, his head thrown back against the back of the couch, throat exposed. His laughter is echoing throughout the living room of Jude's ridiculously small apartment. Jude snaps the photo, and drops his phone to the coffee table, before leaning over and kissing Zero's neck, jaw, face, until Zero isn't laughing, but moaning.

::

II.

The second time he does it, Zero is frowning down at an instructional IKEA leaflet. His face is scrunched up, and he has a deep line of concentration furrowing between his eyebrows. It makes Jude's stomach cramp at the sheer beauty of this man. Zero looks up right after Jude takes the photo, eyebrows raised, and face unguarded, and Jude snaps another photo. Zero frowns when Jude grins around the words, "Blackmail material for the next time you don't want to do the dishes." Zero grins at him, all teeth and tackles him. They fuck right in the middle of the livingroom, between packing styrofome, bolts, plastic nubs, and an IKEA bathroom cabinet's faux metal pieces strewn around them. Jude has never been happier.

::

III.

They fight. It's an ugly one, and they haven't spoken in nearly 3 days. Zero hasn't stayed over at all, instead opting to go to his condo instead. Jude hasn't had a proper night's sleep in that time, and it makes him cranky and irritable, and even angrier at Zero.

It's game night though, and Jude doesn't want to go. He's pissed, even though he knows Zero would never do anything to compromise what they have. He still thinks that Zero had no reason to flirt with that Boston cheerleader at Tuesday's away game, though he feels like he's overreacting. His mother always said he would make a mountain from a molehill.

The screaming match that followed though, sent Jude fuming back to his hotelroom and flying back with Lionel instead of with the team. He stews for two days and 18 hours, before deciding to go to the arena and attend the game.

He's sitting in the owners row, utilizing Oscar's seats, when the final whistle blows. The Devils win 109-88. There's a flurry of congratulating, shaking hands, polite nodding, and when Jude finally steps away from a person whose name he's already forgotten, Zero is right there in his space. He's mumbling apologies against Jude's throat, sweaty face hidden between skin and shirt collar. Jude wraps his arms around Zero's shoulders and back, long bleached blond hair sticking to Jude's jaw. He kisses Zero's temple, cheek, wherever he can reach, and stumbles through his own apologies.

Lionel sends him the photo later that night while he's wrapped around a softly snoring Zero. In the photo, he has his forehead pressed against Zero's, their eyes are closed, hands clutching at each other.

Jude thinks it's his favourite photo yet.

::

IV.

Zero insists that they have a date night. They never really had one, when they started all of this, and that's before The Kiss. Jude says it with capitals in his head. There's a shitty little carnival in Zero's childhood neighbourhood. It's tiny, and there's a funny smell around some of the booths, but the people milling around ignore them completely.

Jude laughs as Zero tries to impress him by shooting hoops. He sinks every ball, and the grin on his face when he hands Jude a massive pink and purple unicorn, makes Jude's stomach flutter and his cheeks hurt from smiling.

Jude kicks Zero's ass at knocking down the stacked metal cups. Zero gives him a dubious look when Jude shrugs and says, "I played baseball in high school too."

Jude picks the blue and white shark, with its crooked material teeth, and limp tail. It's a little frumpy and looks like it's been overlooked for more than a few years. He says as much when he hands it to Zero. He feels shy, all of a sudden, when Zero gives him an indecipherable look. After what feels like a lifetime (Jude's brain exaggerates, it was not more than 15 seconds), Zero smiles. It's the same soft smile he gives Jude when he wakes up to Jude's fingers sliding through his hair, and trailing down his back, while Jude's reading a vendor's report, or something equally boring.

Zero curls his fingers around Jude's, the stuffed shark tucked underneath his left arm, and tugs Jude into walking. They eat funnel cake, and hot dogs, drink soda, and have a juvenile burping contest. Jude gets the hiccups and Zero chuckles everytime Jude makes a high pitched squawk.

It's late. The few other guests have petered out, until it's only Jude and Zero, an old couple standing by a fountain, and the festival workers. Jude grins when he spots it. The old photobooth is tucked into a tight spot between a row of broken arcade games, and a fortune teller's booth. The booth is tiny, and Jude ducks behind the faded black curtain. He pulls Zero down on his lap and shoves their prizes to the footwell. The machine makes a strange sound, but doesn't spit the coins Jude poked into the little slot, back out again.

Zero shakes his head, and grins his best I'm-a-sex-god-and-you-know-it grin, when the flash goes off. Jude digs his fingers into Zero's side, a ticklish spot right underneath his ribs, and Zero squawks and tries to move away.

Flash.

Jude slides both palms up Zero's sides, bunching the material up underneath his palms. He knows the look he's giving Zero is what makes the man's breath hitch.

Flash.

Zero drops his head a few milimetres, sliding his nose along Judes. The tip of his nose is cold as it brushes over Jude's cheek. Their lips brush once, and Jude leans up and slots their lips together. They don't notice the last flash, or how much time passes, until someone's clearing their throat and pulling the curtain open. Zero's lips make an audible pop when he pulls away from Jude. Jude's fingers are in Zero's hair, bleach blond strands falling over Zero's forehead and left ear.

The voice grumbles that the carnival is closed, and they need to leave. They stumble out of the booth, and make it a few paces before they have to double back for the their stuffed toys. Jude grabs the photo strip, shoving it into his pocket. He's giddy, and presses Zero against the side of the Porche to kiss him again.

It's only during the early hours of the next morning, just before the sun peeks over the horizon, that Jude finds the strip tucked into the pack pocket of his jeans. It's a little bent, but that's not what makes Jude's heart ache, and his palms sweat. He traces his fingers over the picture, taking a few steps and tucking it into the frame of the mirror by the door. He knows his eyes will find it every single time he leaves their bedroom. He climbs back in bed and presses his body against Zero's. Zero's arm flops over Jude's waist, and he's pulled in, head tucked underneath Zero's chin, and legs tangled.

Jude breathes in, nose pressed to Zero's throat. "I love you Gideon," he whispers. He doesn't get a reaction, not that he expected one, but it's okay. He slides into sleep, warm and content.

:::

V.

It's Jude's birthday. He hates his birthday, and all of the time he spent hoping that Oscar would show up at the party that his mother planned, praying every night that Oscar would call, anything, waiting for any indication that his father was aware of his existence.

He hates his birthday, he hates celebrating it, thinking about it, or even being reminded of it.

But.

Jude sighs and runs his fingers through his hair and shoves the report in front of him, right to the edge of his desk. Zero looked like a small child this morning, bouncing on the bed to wake Jude up, before receiving what Zero deemed the actual wake up, a birthday blowjob.

Zero, like Jude, doesn't like celebrating his birthday, but apparently he'll make an exception for Jude. He's stuck at work all day, but he doesn't mind. Lionel barges into his office and shoves a tray of cupcakes at him. They talk a little, laugh, and eat cupcakes during Jude's cancelled 10 o' clock meeting. He thinks Lionel had it purposefully cancelled, but he doesn't prod. A few hours after Lionel leaves, Kyle drops by to wish him a happy birthday. She doesn't give him any cake or gifts or anything, thank God, but leaves him with a promise of heavy drinking on Friday night. Jude tries to protest, but it falls on deaf ears when the door closes behind Kyle.

His mother phones during lunch, and he spends an hour talking to her about everything and nothing. She asks how he and Zero are doing, laughs loudly when Jude splutters through her, "You boys are using protection, right?". She tells him about her garden, and how she's constantly chasing the dogs away from the rose bushes. She says goodbye after making Jude promise to bring Gideon ("Jesus, Jude, I am not calling your boyfriend Zero. That's not a name. And it certainly isn't something mothers call their sons.") down for a visit, and Jude feels a little pleased.

He gets through the rest of his work, and packs his things up at 5. He's heading home earlier than usual, Zero's orders. He slides his suit jacket on, pulls on his cuffs, grabs his briefcase, and relishes in the satisfying click of his office door behind him. He's home by 6. After dumping his keys and jacket, tie, and briefcase, Zero comes through the kitchen door. He leans against the frame, grey sweats hanging low on his hips, the green henley creating a startling contrast against his lightly tanned skin, and Jude wants.

"Go take a shower. I'll be out back," Zero says. He disappears through the back door. Jude stares for a few seconds before deciding that he really does want a shower. It's been a long day and he's tired.

Jude stumbles outside after 15 minutes, damp hair falling over his forehead, to find Zero reclining on one of the porch chairs. He holds a beer out to Jude, which he thankfully accepts. Jude sits on the last porch chair, and sips on his beer. Zero bought chinese, and they sit with their ankles bumping together, Zero twirling his chopsticks like drumsticks, and Jude isn't glaring jealously at him, fork in hand. They talk shit, Zero telling him how one of the new guys fell on his ass when the Devil Girls started practising a new routine. Jude laughs until his stomach aches, and they drink until all the beer is gone. They've migrated to the porch stairs and Jude leans heavily into Zero's side. He's a little buzzed from the beer, but he feels warm. Jude stares at Zero's hand on his knee for a moment, deciding instead to lace their fingers together. They don't do this often, holding hands, or public displays of affection in general, but Jude relishes in the fact that Zero's hands are bigger than his. He looks at the veins standing out against Zero's hands, how soft they look, and the thought of how tightly Zero grips the basketball on court, or Jude's hips when they're fucking.

He doesn't take a photo, though the image itself is printed on his retinas. He squeezes Zero's hand and kisses him. Zero drags him inside, where they don't talk for the rest of the night.

Jude doesn't realise it right then, but he hasn't thought of Oscar the entire day, and that is completely okay with him.

::