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A/N: I'll confess I have a slight - slight, I repeat - obsession with Sirius. And it always bugged me how embarrassingly he died. So here it is: one of the many ways how I choose to imagine Sirius after that slight...er...drapery incident...
...
Moving on now!
The last thing Sirius remembered was taunting Bellatrix. There'd been a flash of light hurtling in his direction, and then what? The sensation of falling. Gauzy curtain brushing his skin. A disorientating feeling that was sort of like Apparating but somehow even worse.
Nothing.
Sirius scrunched his face up as he put it together. He'd died, hadn't he? He'd fallen through that stupid Veil and died. How heroic. Any minute now, James and Lily were going to come and shout at him for leaving Harry - poor Harry, who would take care of him now? - and dying in such an embarrassing way. He'd always imagined he'd die while fighting. Maybe Avada Kedavra, or through an injury too severe to be healed. He'd even settle for being killed by one out of many jealous lovers! Not this. Not being killed by a bloody curtain!
A shriek interrupted his thoughts, and he opened his eyes to find Lily - yes, Lily, the same Lily so full of life he remembered from oh-so-long ago - staring at him, eyes wide in horror. There was the sound of hurried footsteps, and a disheveled James burst into the room, wand brandished in front of him. With a feeling of confusion, Sirius realized the afterlife looked exactly like the Potters' house at Godric's Hollow.
Upon catching sight of Sirius, James' eyes narrowed and a scowl appeared on his face. His wand moved until it was pointed at Sirius. "How did you get here?" James spat, the look of fury on his face looking so strange and out of place. "What did you do to Remus?"
"Remus?" Sirius echoed, confused. What was this about? The last he saw of Remus had been at the fight at the Ministry. He hadn't pulled any pranks on Remus. He hadn't pulled any pranks, period. It left him with an uncomfortable feeling just contemplating pulling a prank without James there to laugh with.
"Yes, Remus! You know his name now, do you? Funny how you pretended you didn't before. But he was always just a half-blood to you, wasn't he?" James said bitterly. "Did you torture him? You must have. Is he dead now?"
Sirius stared. "What?"
"Where's Voldemort?" Lily asked suddenly, reminding Sirius that Lily was there too. Her wand was out, pointing at Sirius also. There was a fierce expression on her face as she continued. "Is he coming for Harry personally, or did he send you to do his dirty work?"
"Wait, what?" Suddenly Sirius realized why they looked so angry, why their wands were aimed at him, and why they were saying the things they were saying, but it didn't make any sense. "You...you think I work for Voldemort?"
"Of course you do," James snapped. "What are you playing at?"
"You think I was the one who betrayed you too?" Sirius felt like his world was crumbling. It was a good thing he was still on the floor, or else he'd be worried his knees wouldn't be able to support his weight. "It...it might have been my fault you died, but you can't think I had anything to do with Voldemort! I would never willingly betray you! If I'd known about Peter..."
It was James's time to look confused. "What are you talking about, Black?" he said. "Has all the dark magic you've been doing made you finally snap?"
Black.
James had never called Sirius that. It had always been Padfoot, or Sirius if they were in front of others. Never Black. And dark magic? James knew how much Sirius hated it. He'd grown up in a dark family, and he knew first-hand how deplorable dark magic was.
"Where am I?" Sirius asked numbly, a horrible sensation starting to grow in his stomach. "Isn't this the afterlife?"
James and Lily exchanged a glance.
"Black, you've finally lost it, haven't you?" Lily said. "Can you tell me your name? Do you know it?"
"Of course I do! It's Sirius Black! I'm not crazy!"
"He's definitely gone," James said in an awed whisper, eyes wide. "He didn't even add the 'of the Most Noble House of Black' this time!"
"James! Shh." Lily glared at him for good measure before turning back to Sirius. "Black, what's my name? What about the man next to me?"
Sirius frowned, struggling to rein in his nerves. "I'm perfectly lucid, thank you very much! You're Lily Potter, the smartest witch I know, and you're James Potter, my best mate."
"Uh oh," Lily said. Her expression was so similar to James's that Sirius would have found it funny in a different situation. She swallowed and whispered, "You've finally gone around the bend!"
"Stop saying 'finally'! What's with the finally! I've always been perfectly sane! And I would like to...to..." Sirius trailed off. To what? He wanted to leave, but to where? He'd been at the Ministry, the last he remembered, but he had a feeling that if he went back there, the fight wouldn't be going on anymore. And somehow - call it a sixth sense - he doubted that he was in the afterlife after all.
"Where am I?" he asked again.
James hesitated. "Since you're already here, I guess it can't hurt...This is Godric's Hollow."
"I knew that! I meant - where?" Realizing how barmy that sounded, Sirius added, "Tell me what's been happening."
Looking uncertain, James replied, "Well, this morning, I woke up and went to pee before making some coffee - "
"Did you remember to wash your hands?" Lily interrupted.
"Of course! Who do you think I am?" James said indignantly. "Anyway, after drinking the coffee and lazing around for a while, Lily came down and made some breakfast - very delightful breakfast, if I might add, Lily - and I - "
"No! Not that! I meant - what's been happening with Voldemort? And Peter? And Remus?"
"Well...Voldemort's still at large, nothing's changed there," Lily replied. "And we just saw Peter and Remus a few days ago, at Harry's fifteenth birthday party."
With a sinking feeling, Sirius realized he knew what must have happened. "The Veil," he muttered. "It must've sent me to an alternate universe!"
"Sorry, what? Didn't quite catch that," James said.
There was the pop of someone Apparating, and a bloody, tired-looking Remus appeared a few feet away. "James, Lily!" he said. "I - " Then he caught sight of Sirius, and his expression changed from one of fatigue to one of anger. He raised his wand at Sirius.
"How can you be here?" he demanded. "I killed you!"
"Err...If I'm understanding it correctly," Sirius said, "I'm actually from an alternate universe. So who you killed was probably this universe's me. It's alright, no harm done. I forgive you," he added magnanimously.
"What..." Remus gave him a confused look.
"We think he's finally gone crazy," James told him. "He's been acting really weird! He didn't add any epithets to his name, and he called Lily a smart witch and me his best mate!"
Sirius opened his mouth, various responses running through his head, ranging from "I'm not crazy!" to "I told you, stop saying finally!" to "Remus is also one of my best mates."
He finally settled on, "So don't you think old Tommy looks like he's in dire need of some sunlight and an actual nose, or is it just me? Although he does look better than my mum before she put on make up. Let's remember to give credit where credit's due. Am I right, or am I right?"
Needless to say, there was quiet in the Potter household.
How does reviewing sound? Good? Good! Because depending on the reviews I get, I might or might not continue. I mean, I don't really have any idea where to go from here, and I guess it could end here and make sense, but what do you guys think? Tell me in your reviews!
