Total Drama Cruise Episode 1: All Aboard!

Chris: Hello everyone in the world! My name is Chris Mclean, and this is my first season of Total Drama Cruise! Unfortunately, I am forced to spend each summer with a group of wild animals that the producers found in the woods.

LeShawna: Excuse me?

Chris: Oh, would you look at that! The first vi- I mean contestant has arrived! This is the Luscious LeShawna!

LeShawna: -glares at Chris- You better sleep with your door locked extra tight tonight.

Chris: Um, okay? The next contestant is mama's boy, DJ!

DJ: Yo! I am so looking forward to a great season and a great cruise around the world's oceans!

Chris: Whatever. Moving on, it's the psychotic chick who somehow escaped from that mental hospital in Ontario, Izzy!

Izzy: Izzy knows how to catch a fish using a piece of string!

Chris: Yeah, no one cares. Next up we have Homeschool, Ezekiel.

Ezekiel: Hey everyone! This season's winner in in the house!

Chris: -to himself- Why did I sign up for this again?! Next we have the surfer chick, Bridgette!

Bridgette: I love the ocean, so this will be right at home for me.

Gwen: -sighs- Why am I here?

Heather: Ugh, I hope you are not on my team. With that attitude, we would never win.

Chris: Depressed Gwen and queen bee Heather have just arrived!

Harold: Did you know, the queen bee does not have a stinger?

Chris: Did you know I don't give a-

Courtney: That's nice. Is this the cruise we are staying on? I was promised a better cruise, not some run down piece of rust!

Duncan: Would you like me to carry you onto the boat, queenie?

Courtney: Shut it! -punches Duncan-

Chris: Queen Courtney, and delinquent Duncan have arrived!

Cody: -Steps over slowly looking nervous- Back again huh? Maybe this time I can stop -Smiles slightly- Al

Alejandro: Do not call me Al..

Chris: This guy again -Rolls eyes in disgust- The Mexican stud, Alejandro.

Cody: You're just jealous 'cause I know my way around the ladies

-Heather snickers-

-Sierra runs towards them and grabs cody-

Sierra: OH MY GOSH CODY!

Cody: -Groans- NO!

Sierra: -Confessional- Yeah… I smuggled some gadgets again, though my phone got broken last season -Face changes- BUT WHO NEEDS GADGETS WHEN YOU HAVE CODY! -Laughs and falls down-

Chris: Oh great… Stalker Sierra, her boy, Cody…

Cody: -Screaming- She's not my girl!

Sierra: Im his wife -Glares at chris-

Cody: -groans in annoyance- -confessional- I actually thought maybe I got rid of my stalker wife so I could go back after Gwen, guess thats out the window -Slouches-

Gwen: -Confessional- I do not like Cody! He is a brother to me. Sierra is going to murder me if he keeps coming around. As for Courtney, I still do not like her. Who promises to take someone to the end and then makes a chart showing the lies right on it?!

Lindsay: Oh my gosh; It's a boat! I bet we are going fishing! Tyler we are going on the Titanium!

Courtney: -snarls in annoyance- First, this is a CRUISE. Second, the boat was called the TITANIC!

Chris: The air head Lindsay has arrived!

Tyler: What about me?

Chris: No one cares about you, Trent.

Tyler: IT'S TYLER!

Tyler: -confessional- I Don't get it, Lindsay forgetting me is one thing, but Chris? I have a feeling he is doing this on purpose, at least he got the T right and didn't call me Noah. -Chris on intercom- Noah get out of the confessional! AAAAAAAH!

Blaineley: Sorry to disappoint sweeties but with me here, -Looks at camera- you don't stand a chance, as I'm you one and only host, Blaineley Stacy Andrews O'hallaren

Chris: It's the queen of cainely herself… BLAINELEY!

Heather: -confessional- Blaineley again? UGH! With her, Evil Jandro and Lindsiot, I don't really have much of a chance, especially since she'll just have Chef cheat for her again -scowls- I guess my strategy should be to work Cody and Sierra into slavishly obeying me, but will it work a second time… NO! It will -smiles-

Chris: Blaineley, I told you, you are not a host, you are a contestant. Which means, no outside help, no paparazzi and certainly no phone, right, Sierra?

Sierra: Of course -twitches-

Blaineley:-confessional- A CONTESTANT?! Are you kidding me? These people, AGAIN?! Chris really irritates me.

Owen: Hey guys! I brought Noah with me!

Chris: Owen, I told you not to bring… nevermind. Owen the garbage disposal and smart mouth Noah are also competing!

Noah: Is that the best you can come up with?

Lindsay: For me, it would be a miracle to come up with stuff like that.

Noah. Right…

Chris: Well, now that we are all here, ALL ABOARD! Next stop, the one million dollars! Find out who I will get to push overboard tonight, on TOTAL…. DRAMA… CRUISE!

All: Wait, what?!

*theme song plays*

Heather: This cruise… It is a paradise?! What did you do to it, Chris?

Chris: Absolutely nothing. The producers feel I need to be nicer to you guys, so here you go. This is me… being…. -gulps- nice.

DJ:-confessional- I always knew chris was nice. Well, kinda…

Blaineley: This cannot be happening to me… A whole season on a boat, with 17 teenagers? My career is ruined!

Duncan: Calm down drama queen, it isn't like it was ever going to go anywhere anyways…

Blaineley: -gasps- How dare you!

Chris: Settle down contestants. Now this season has two teams. The Killer Krill and the Screaming Sharks.

Courtney: How can Krills be killers?

LeShawna: Girl, you talk too much.

Courtney: I haven't said much…

Chris: Hey guys, can you shut up? Now the people on the Killer Krill are… Alejandro, you're the captain, Duncan, Courtney, Tyler, Lindsay, Bridgette, Gwen, DJ and LeShawna.

Courtney: -confessional- I'm on the team with Duncan the jerk, great… Gwen I'm not too fussed about, but look at my team, gah! I wont lose this time; THAT I PROMISE YOU!

Chris: The Sharks are… Heather, the team's captain, Sierra, Cody, Blaineley, Owen, Izzy, Noah, Harold and Ezekiel.

Blaineley: Can I just jump off now?

Chris: Nope, that would be breaking the contract.

Noah: -confessional- Yeah this pretty much sucks, another season and another way for Al to ruin me, then again being on a different team may help -sighs-

Harold: -confessional- NO Leshawna my luscious beauty! Why must we be on different teams? WHY!?

Sierra: -confessional- Wee! Team Cody! Yeeheehee I will protect my man again… As long as I don't blow up the boat… I'm sure we'll win… I mean duh!

Chef: Yo, Chris. Are the animals ready to eat yet?

Izzy: Izzy has been reincarnated twenty times.

Owen: Cool! How does that work?

Izzy: Izzy has no clue! -psychotic laughter-

Leshawna: -confessional- Here we go again with that white girl trash talk… She so totally was not reincarnated.

Courtney: Great, I guess I am eating Chef's…. Buffet of REAL food?!

All: WHAT, REAL FOOD?!

Chef: -confessional- That's right. I am also being forced to treat these animals properly. -sighs-

Ezekiel: Hey, how do you eat cereal?

Noah: You use the fork.

Ezekiel: Thanks!

Noah: -confessional- The problem with sounding sarcastic, people never know when you are being sarcastic…

Chris: Okay, now for your first challenge. I want you all to get use to this ship, as it will be your home for several days. Well, except for the person who gets pushed off the plank of shame today! -laughing loudly- Anyways, from this point each of you will be giving a card, red for the krill and green for the sharks. Then, the captain reads the clue and the other members run to the next clue. you do this until the last person on your team reaches me at the elimination room and the winning team's suites. The losers vote someone off and get to sleep in the basic rooms over there. -hands Al and Heather a team card-

Blaineley: Nice, pigtails, Captain. -snickers-

Heather: Shut up. Anyways, clue one. This room is small and it could be easily missed. there is a large arrangement of movies here.

Alejandro: Okay clue one. This room is adjacent to the movie room. you go here to play games.

Lindsay: Oh, I know! It's the Kitchen!

Courtney: -deep breathing- No, Lindsiot, It's the video game room.

Lindsay: Same thing…

Cody: I am guessing it's the movie room?

Noah: How did you figure that out Einstein?

Sierra: -slaps Noah- Do not insult MY Codykins!

Noah: Ow… -confessional- Izzy is nothing to compared to psycho stalkasaurus Sierra

Cody: Can you two shut up! We have a challenge to win

Sierra: -confessional- I love it when he's bossy -growls a little under breath-

Courtney: Okay, Here is the second clue, Lindsiot will read it.

Bridgette: Why?

Courtney: I need to get away from her…

Lindsay: Okay! Um… It says the next clue is waiting in a place where you get served? Is that the video game room?

LeShawna: Um, no. That's the kitchen.

Gwen: -confessional- Seriously how is anyone that dumb?

Cody: Okay, Sierra stay here and read the clue for us please?

Sierra: Anything for you, Cody! -reads clue- The next clue is in Cody's suitcase.

Cody: Wait what? Are you serious? -looks at card- What the heck?! That's in my room!

Chris: Cody will have to stay then since he knows where it is. Lucky for Sierra.

Cody: NO!

Sierra: Follow me, team!

Gwen: I will read the next clue. It's the bathroom. Have fun guys.

Bridgette: Cool, thanks, Gwen!

Gwen: Whatever…

Courtney: -confessional- Gwen is still mad over that chart? I was planning smartly, I know she would have done the same.

Sierra: Leave me be. -sniffing Cody's clothes- Here is the clue!

Izzy: Izzy knows that this clue is going to lead us to the captain's quarters.

Owen: We are not allowed in there. If Chef caught us in there we would be seriously hosed!

Ezekiel: Guys, we are Sharks. That means we can take anything that comes our way!

Sharks: YEAH!

Courtney: Taylor, you can stay here. This place is nasty.

Tyler: It's T-Y-L-E-R, Tyler! -reads clue- The next clue lies where the girls who lose sleep at night.

LeShawna: Let's go guys!

Leshawna: -confessional- Seriously, these clues aint even that hard, you'd think big ol bossy Mclean would have had a bit more of a brain, but hey… not my problem if we get an easy win know what I'm sayin'

Izzy: Guys, I got the clue! -reads clue- The next clue is where the boys who win sleep at night.

Noah: Come on team let's go! Izzy stay here.

Izzy: Of course. Izzy loves fighting Chef.

DJ: This room is horrific.

Courtney: I bet LeShawna sleeps in conditions like this daily.

Krill: -gasp-

LeShawna: Girl, I know you did not just say that to ME!-ties courtney to the wall and forces her to read the clue-

Courtney: It's in the Men's shower room.

Bridgette: Gross imagine the smell… Guys pee standing up so who knows what stench is in there -confessional- I guess it can't be worse than the communal washrooms… right?

Duncan: That means we left Skyler in the… -Gwen runs out screaming back to the kitchen- Girls' restroom…

Ezekiel: Is this where I will be sleeping tonight?

Blaineley: Yeah, if you don't lose the challenge for us. -reads clue- How tall is this boat? Find out for yourself. You guys go on ahead. I am done running in heels.

Chris: Eight more to go! Who will win? Find out after the break!

Chef: This episode is brought to you by my Pancakes. They only have a 10% chance to not give you food poisoning.

Chris: Welcome back! It seems the Krill just got their next clue.

Duncan: Don't worry ladies, I'll stay here for you.

DJ: I am not a girl.

Duncan: My bad. -reads clue- This next clue can be found of a stalker's laptop.

DJ: How do we get to Sierra's laptop?

LeShawna: Easy, distract her with Cody.

Bridgette: Let's go guys!

Owen: -gasping for a breathe- Guys… I can't… go on… -reads the clue- It's in the boy's losing cabins.

Harold: Let's go guys!

Noah: Who made you the leader?

Ezekiel: Yeah!

Harold: -confessional- If LeShawna was on my team, I would be more respected.

LeShawna: I got the clue! -reads it- Yeah, I'm done. I am not going to the bottom of this ship, my booty cannot take much more.

DJ and Bridgette: Uh…

LeShawna: Go!

*intense music starts to play*

Harold: I got it! Okay next clue is leading us to the pool area. I'll stay here.

Noah: Let's go homeschool!

Ezekiel: Jeez homie… My bling cant take more more this 'Eh.

Noah: Tough! I'm not losing for something stupid like tiredness. Now pump those legs!

DJ: I got it Bridgette. You stay here. I can do this -sprints to the elimination area-

Noah: Okay homeschool, you want to win? Take this clue and run to the end, NOW!

Chris: It is getting down to the wire folks, and here they come!

Ezekiel: I am going to win! -trips over his foot- Noooo! -falls an inch before the line as DJ crosses.-

Chris: The Killer Krill are the winners! Sharks, I will see you all tonight.

Heather: Way to go, homeschool...

*elimination music plays*

Chris: Sharks… Not your best day, slow to start… quick to hurt yourselves… Inevitably you lost, making you our first team to try out our new elimination device! Awesome I know

Heather: -confessional- I vote for Ezekiel, because he made us lose, so he's gone GOT IT

Ezekiel: I vote for Noah yo, it isnt my fault I tripped but it's his fault for making me the last one to go

Chris: Contestants, I hold on this tray, 8 delicious blended smoothies, each one it's own symbol of immunity, when I call your name, come up and claim your smoothie, the camper who does not receive one must immediately hit the plank of shame and dive off, and you can't come back… EVER

Heather: get on with it already…

Chris: The first camper to receive a drink is… Izzy

Izzy: Woo Izzy still in the game, look out cheffie!

Chris: Heather and Harold, you too

Harold: Yes! My mad skills are still in!

Heather: -picks up smoothie- Not a shock

Chris: Sierra and Cody! You too

Sierra: yay! Cody! -drags cody to the tray-

Chris: Owen and Blaineley, you too

-both take their drinks-

Chris: Contestants… This is the final smoothie tonight -looks at them both- the final smoothie goes to..!

-both looks worried-

Chris: Noah!

Noah: Of course, not surprising in the least

Ezekiel: Thanks a lot ya knobs, as if I ever trusted a team of backstabbing -chef grabs him by the lips making his other words too muffled to understand and drags him toward the plank- This can't be it! I am suppose to win, yo!

Chef: Shut it! -kicks Ezekiel off-

Ezekiel: -screaming- NOOOOO!

Chris: Well, That's enough out of him. Find out who will win and who will get pushed off for my enjoyment next time, on TOTAL…..DRAMA…...CRUISE!

Ezekiel: 1st Voted off. He was a member of the Screaming Sharks.