Once Upon a Time

'Mama, tell me a story about the fairy and the vampire?' Her blue eyes plead, and I smile. It's her favourite bedtime story theme, no matter how often I tell it. Over the years it's developed from a simple set of fairytales into more detailed accounts of events, suitably edited for small ears. Now, aged eight, Adele understands a little more of the darker events and is of necessity becoming more aware of the supernaturals in this world.

'OK, Adele. Finish loading the dishwasher, have a shower and into bed, quickly now. Don't forget your teeth. I'll be up in fifteen minutes.'

As her feet storm up the stairs towards the bathroom, I wander out onto the verandah, sit on the steps and look up at the night sky. It's now ten years to the day since he'd left, on the first of August. We'd parted in such anger, and both said and done some stupid things born of our mutual stubbornness.

And yet, each year, just for a few minutes, I'm compelled to look at the stars, think of him and send him a mind message, wherever he is.

'Hello, Vampire.'

'Hello, Lover.' His gentle voice is still so familiar in my mind.

'Ten years. Long days, short years. Maybe long because I miss you so much, but short because Adele is growing so fast. Corbett would have turned nine this year.'

A tear drops as it always does. I can never forget the bluish body of our beautiful baby boy, who never took a breath. After that, Sam was never the same, as was I. The birth of Adele the year after helped a little, but she couldn't hold us together forever. It had taken five years of hard work before we both admitted defeat in trying to keep our marriage afloat.

I take a deep breath and wipe my face. This is not the time and place to grieve my baby.

'I wonder how Oklahoma has worked out for you. I hope Freyda has given you the freedom to carve out your own space in her kingdom, and hasn't tried to change you into an Andre or a Victor. And maybe…maybe you've even found a pet to keep you happy, give you love, make you laugh once in a while. I hope you're not lonely…'

As lonely as I am.

For a moment my heart hurts as I allow myself to remember what it was to be loved, desired, wanted by him. I can't do this more than once a year. Self indulgence gets in the way of my responsibilities to my daughter, and besides that, doesn't achieve anything except more pain. I've had enough pain for one lifetime.

My fifteen minutes is almost up, so I mouth the words he once said to me. 'This is best…this is right.' And 'I wish for you to be happy, min Viking, min alskare.'as I blow him a kiss.

Climbing the stairs, I think of the changes since I left Bon Temps. Leaving my home and community had been hard, but necessary, given the eventual likelihood Felipe would try to find a way around the rules Eric had set in place before he left. Rather than expose Adele to the machinations of his court, I chose to move north to Chesapeake Bay which was outside the kingdoms of the southern vampires. Gran's surname Hale does well for both of us here, and my daughter has no problem adjusting to being Adele Merlotte when in Bon Temps. Amelia comes once a year to visit and renew wards around the house to prevent anyone with bad intentions coming near. We've done all we can to keep us safe.

Here in the little bayside town of St Faire, I made a new life, first using my waitressing experience at several bars in the town, then joining up with another single mom to take care of the many holiday houses scattered up and down the coast within a couple of hours drive. Regina's son and Adele are classmates and get on fine together, so we share afterschool care and work between us, and both make enough money to pay the bills and rent two small cottages side by side, perfect for two moms with a child apiece. I'm busy and very often happy with my job and new friends and wee house.

And there is nothing to remind me of my former life save memories.

'Once upon a time, there was a young waitress in a diner, who had been waiting her whole life to meet a vampire…' I start the familiar tale as I walk into her bedroom and sit in the chair beside her bed, running my hand over her red-gold curls spread out over the pillow.

When I finish, she snuggles into my side then her head comes up and those vivid blue eyes bore into me.

'You loved him a lot, didn't you, Mama.'

My breath catches in my throat and I cough and gasp. By the time Adele has given me tissues and hopped up to get a glass of water for me I hope the thought has been driven from her mind, but my daughter is nothing if not tenacious, as well as being quite empathetic. Fortunately, telepathy is not her curse as it is mine.

'Mama, you loved him. The story is about you and him, when you lived in Bon Temps.'

I look down at her. If there is any doubt in her face I'll be able to fudge some sort of answer, but there is not. I have to take a deep breath.

'Yes, the story is about me and Eric.'

I'd never told her his name before, and it feels as though I've crossed some sort of line, but funnily enough, in a good way.

'His dad really made him marry the queen, even though he was dead? He couldn't refuse?'

'No baby. Vampires still have to do as their maker demands, just like in the old days when kings used to marry off their daughters to other kings or their heirs. You remember the story I told you of Marie Antoinette?'

She pulled a face.

'She was the queen the people killed.'

'Yes, but before that, she was a princess of Austria, and her father married her off to the heir of France when she was sixteen. She'd never met him.'

'Did Eric know the queen of Oklahoma?'

'I think he'd met her when the kings and queens gathered for summits, but he didn't know her personally.'

'Did he like her?'

I think for a moment.

'She's smart and very beautiful, and rich and powerful.'

It's not much of an answer, and a roll of Adele's eyes reflects that.

'Maybe they'll get a divorce.'

I hate that she thinks of divorce as a possibility when a couple marry, but who am I kidding. She's come through Sam's and my divorce remarkably well, probably because Sam and I remain good friends, and she loves spending time with him whether here in St Faire or back in Bon Temps.

'No baby, vampire monarchs don't divorce.'

'What's a monarch?'

I smile.

'A king or a queen.'

'So the queen can't divorce Eric. Can Eric divorce the queen?'

She sounds optimistic, and I hate to crush that.'

'Vampires are immortal. Do you know what that means?'

'They can't die?'

I grimace, having seen too many vampire final deaths in my time.

'It means that, unless they meet their final death by a very few methods, their life goes on forever. Eric is over a thousand years old. So vampire marriages mean they must stay married for a set number of years, rather than until the couple divorce or die as humans do.'

Adele yawns, and I can see this discussion needs to wind down, but the thoughtful expression on her face shows she has another question, so I tuck her in and turn the light by her bed off.

'Mama, how long does Eric have to stay married?'

'Two hundred years. Night night, sweetheart.'

'Mama.'

At the door I turn.

'How long has he been married?'

'Ten years.'

'I love you, Mama.'

'I love you always, baby.'

Downstairs, I get a glass of wine and try to interest myself in first a book then tv. Eventually though, I give in, sit on the floor in front of the empty fireplace, wrap an ugly old quilt around my shoulders, and cry.