A/N okay, fist Wicked Fanfiction, this actually Started as an English assignment, at the moment it's only a two or three shot, but if people like it I could continue.

**WARNING** attempted suicide, depression


How had five become such an important number in my life?

Five years old is when I learned how to smile when I felt like crying, how to pretend to be better, to feel better then I actually was, I was taught how to create the mask I have been wearing nearly nonstop for the past five years. Five years later is when Popsicle taught me just how much a good name and some money could get you, later Elphaba showed me how wrong that was for the people actually worth knowing. Five years more and my decision to go to Shiz was cemented in my mind, I knew I would get in, if only for my name, the Upper Uplands has quite the pull in most circles.

Five weeks after I got into it was when I first saw the girl who would become my best friend, the only friend that mattered, five minutes after seeing her the first time I was her roommate, not even five hours after that decision was made we knew we loathed each other. Five months, an entire semester, is how long before he came, it's also how long it took for Elphie and me to become friends. Five weeks is how long I attempted to make her popular, before I told her she was beautiful, and she ran off. Five semesters after that was when she got that accursed letter from the Wizard, saying that he wanted to see her. The five hour train ride was actually the last time I was just Galinda (That name disappeared almost completely when she left, and whatever small shreds of it was leftover, disappeared with her death.) and she was just Elphaba (Not that I saw Elphaba and the Wicked Witch as the same person, that was the only way I didn't break down every time I confirmed, had to celebrated, her death.) Five hours after we got to the Emerald City she was dubbed the Wicked Witch of the West, falsely accused of being a traitor, a liar, evil. Five days of interrogation after that was when they believed I wasn't involved and I was dubbed Glinda the Good, the thrill of that wore off in all of five minutes, my best friend was the one who deserved that title, she was the one who planned to stand up to the tyrannical wizard of Oz, I joined him, I told myself I'd try and slow him from the inside, but the truth is I'm a coward. Five months and five words that will haunt me till I die 'use her sister, use Nessarose' I'm the one who sentenced her sister to death with those word, which lead to Fiyero's and eventually Elphaba's death, and all because of him choosing her over me, all because I was angry.

Five years after getting my letter to Shiz, after meeting them, the two most important people that will ever be in my life, after five months of calling her Wicked and him my fiancé, five weeks after I had last seen her, five days after I got news that he was dead, five hours since the witch hunters left the city, five minutes after I had come to warn her, five seconds after promising her I wouldn't try and clear her name, I had to stand in a cupboard, and do nothing, as I listened to her scream in anguish as she melted.

Now five years later, through the heavy rain, the weather fits my mood, I look at the smooth stone, it read Elphaba Thropp, below that two dates just over 25 years apart, then in slightly smaller print Because I knew you I have been changed for good there was nothing under the marker that bared my friends name, there was nothing left of her to place there, no one but me visited, few even remembered who she was before she was dubbed that wretched name, shy, sweet, brave, strong Elphaba, no they remembered the Wicked Witch, who was never wicked on purpose, life just forced her to be that way.

The blade in my hand glints in the summer sun, almost mocking me, the little cursive GU, engraved into the handing at the bottom makes me pause, she had been the one to give this to me, "For protection." she had whispered handing it to me, after a moment longer I place it on my belt, looking at the stone one last time I whisper "I'm so sorry, Elphie. Here I come." and place the photo, folded over many times, taken from the days when everything was good. As I set it to the ground, a single rain drop lands on it, not hitting any of the people in the picture but causing a spot to appear on one of the corners.

The photo was of me, Elphaba and Fiyero all sopping wet, we were just sitting, talking, it was just us being us, I still smile when I remember that day. We had been having a picnic with Boq and Nessarose near the pond by campus, and Fiyero thought it was a good idea to splash me and Elphie and that had led to us teaming up against him then it, was everyone versus everyone, this was taken afterwards by Nessa when none of us paying attention, she gave it to me after that day at the Emerald City. On the back I wrote a short note to her, I had always planned on giving it to Elphie, but there was never a time that I could.

As I draw my wand instead, another thing she gave me, I knew I didn't have to worry about Oz, I had someone ready to take my place, someone who was truly good, unlike the Wizard or Morrible or even me, they were like Elphaba. The citizens of Oz would believe it was an accident with my magic, why would Glinda the Good ever kill herself? This would just be another secret between Elphie and me.

I whisper the only curse from the Grimmerie I knew, the rest of the time it sat on a shelf, it was too painful to read, learn from the book that in many ways ruined my friend's life, lead to her death almost as much as myself. As the spell takes hold on my body I feel the blood pooling from the hole in my chest that the spell created, I feel my life leaving my body.

My vision going blurry, just before it fades to black, along with my life, I see a figure approach me "Oh, Glinda, what did you do?" a familiar voice says, it's her's, it was Elphaba's voice, I would know it anywhere after any amount of time, I must be close to death now.

I force out a nearly silent, even to my own ears "Elphie," blood comes up my throat as I cough it up, if the blood wasn't coming so furiously out of my chest I would've died by drowning on it. I force myself to breathe through the pain, I knew whatever I felt, his death, her death, they were more painful. I feel the blood trickle down my cheek onto my shoulder as I allow my head to lull to the side, the blood finally pooling under me, staining my powder blue dress

I see a verdant hand come down to grab me, and the same voice, more panicked this time, growls "Glinda, come on, you need to stay awake, stay awake." The voice almost ordered the final part, didn't she see? Every second I fought against it, it was a second more I had to deal with the hurt, the guilt, of their deaths as the black finally closes in I think 'You're the only one that mattered' as I embrace the black that will take me to them.


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beckettlovescastlealways