All MFB fanfictions will be moved to this account. Sorry for any hassle!


GINGKA

'Welcome, ladies and bumblebees to the spectacular show we have for you this evening during which I, Jack, interview Beyblade's rising stars – the best of the best! Joining me now is… is…' His voice trailed off as he turned to stare at the person seated opposite him.

'Umm, Gingka? Gingka Hagane? The current number one champion? …No?'

'I'm terribly sorry, but I don't have a clue who you are.'

'…'

HIKARU

'So how many guys would you say you've… y'know.'

'What, fought against? Defeated? I'm sorry, I don't understand the question…?'

He leaned closer and stage whispered rather loudly.

'Y'know. Had sex with.'

'What? None! God, what kind of question is that?'

'You must have! You're telling me during the whole of Battle Bladers nothing happened? You were the only girl! Come on, tell me who you got down and dirty with.'

'No one! What is wrong with you?'

'Come on; tell me! Just tell me – I won't mention it to anyone else. Was it Tsubasa? I bet you two got it off, all right. That old dog!'

'I never had sex with anyone! NOT Tsubasa, not ANYONE!'

Jack edged even further forward on his chair, and gestured for Hikaru to lean in closer.

'…Will you have sex with me?' He asked, in a loud whisper.

She slapped him.

RYUTARO

'So, tell, me… Your name is quite unusual – Ryutaro?'

'A little unusual, perhaps…'

'Yes, it's pronounced 'ROO – TA – ROW' but in actual fact is spelled 'F – A – G – G – O – T'?'

'…'

MASAMUNE

'So tell me, Masamune, why do you personally think absolutely everybody thinks you're a total jackass?'

'What? Who thinks that?'

'Oh, everybody, absolutely everybody.'

ZEO

'They say sometimes you can tell a bit about the way people kiss by the way they blade so for example Kyouya would be wild and passionate, Tsubasa would be gentle yet firm… you'd be just terrible, wouldn't you? I mean, it's not like you wouldn't give it your all but in the end you'd still be just terrible.'

Zeo stared, open-mouthed at his team-mate.

'Terrible…' Jack nodded to himself.

DA XIANG

'So, tell me, whose decision was it to name your team after a penis?'

'…Excuse me?'

'Team Wang… Wang means penis.'

'…No, it doesn't.'

'Yes it does, it really does.'

'How would you know? You don't even speak Chinese!'

KYOUYA

'Is it true you're gay?'

'That's NOT true.'

'Gay with Gingka, I believe is what I heard.'

'No, I'm definitely not gay.'

'Yes… Except you are.'

'I'm so not! Where are you even getting this from?'

'You are gay, and Nile is your lover, making him gay too.'

TSUBASA

'So what do YOU think is the reason you're such an ass?'

'…I don't really think I'm an ass-'

'You MUST be an ass. It's the middle part of your first name. Tsub – ASS – ah.'

'…That's not how I pronounce it-'

'SHUT UP!' Jack yells, startling the white-haired boy. 'Jackass...'

MASAMUNE

'Do you sometimes cry to yourself because nobody really loves you and you are disgusting piece of scum wasting valuable oxygen?'

'What kind of interview is this?'

HYOMA

'It's okay.'

'What's okay?'

'I know about your 'disease'.'

'I don't have a disea-'

'It's okay Michael; I know all about your terminal illness and if you want to cry, just go ahead! I'll be your shoulder to cry on!'

'First of all, my name's Hyoma, and second of all I have no idea what you're talking about.'

'Your hair is white.'

'Yes… That's because I'm albino…'

'Oh God, I change my mind it's just too horrible! It's too horrible to bear thinking about!' Jack suddenly collapsed in a ball on the floor, slowly rocking back and forth to himself.

BENKEI

'You're REALLY fat. Seriously, you're like a giant… Ball… Of fat. Only fatter.'

'…'

MADOKA

'Which do you prefer, anal or oral?'

'…Something tells me this is not a legitimate interview…'

ZEO

'Is it true that you're a gay… android?'

'No.'

'Just gay then.'

'No… You know what, I'm not even going to try and argue…'

GINGKA

'What's your favourite… type of fruit?'

'What does this have to do with my skills as a Blader?'

'You like limes? I liked limes… until they KILLED MY MOTHER! WHY DID YOU MENTION LIMES? YOU KNOW I HATE THE COLOUR GREEN!'

KYOUYA

'Explain to me what the Circle of Life is.'

'…Why?'

MADOKA

'I am... three quarters Norwegian Humpback… Squirrel, also I am very talented at tennis.'

'That's nice, Jack.'

'If there was a tennis tournament I would win it even if I had no limbs.'

RYUGA

'So when you say "I'm going to summon my dragon.", what you really mean is "I'm going to whip out my penis and wave it about a little bit." Yes. Yes, that's exactly what you mean…'

TERU

'Can I have your jacket?'

'No.'

'How about your virginity?'

'…'

ALEKSI

'You're a communist and therefore should be burned alive here and now. But I will let you live if you promise to give all of your money and possessions. And your glasses.'

'That's not happening.'

'That's fine; I don't need fucking nerd glasses to see anyway. Unlike you! You're practically a cripple! You're a cripple and you're a communist! How's that going to look on eharmony?'

'…'

'…Will you at least let me come for a ride in your spaceship?'

Well that was… just terrible. I do apologize. I'll probably post it anyway. It's a fun way to let off steam when I feel like writing absolute trash… Yeah, I'll crawl back into my lair now…

Once again, feel free to suggest Bladers to be 'interviewed'! The same can go several times! I know all of the above will definitely be back.