Contemplation
Those dull and gray rainy days, when no one's around and you have to remind yourself that you're still alive, that this is real, and that this moment is going to fade away into the recesses of your and everyone elses memory. I love those days, and I hate them.
I stand there out in that almost nonexistant mist of a rain, and just stare. At nothing, at everything. I think to myself, 'The world is crying right now.' It's just a thought though, nothing more.
I'm chilled down to my very core, though I can't tell if it's from the weather or from me..
I'm human.
Despite what everyone thinks.
Maybe I hide it a little too well behind a disguise that's a little too much for people to handle. But they remember me, don't they? They remember the fear, if nothing else. And really that's all you can accomplish that's worth anything anymore.
Everything worth thinking has been thought, and everything worth doing has pretty well been done. People don't change anymore, they've resisted it as long as humanity has existed, but now no one even cares enough to pay attention.
But I can make them remember, however fleeting the memory is. They won't think of the day, they won't recall the weather or what they were doing, just that instance of complete and utter fear. And they might open their eyes.
They'll witness the death around them, they'll see through my eyes, the destruction and chaos going on unnoticed in the corners of their eyes. They'll see the pain and sorrow that no one chooses to acknowledge. And they'll either learn to love it, or lose their minds. Or even both, the best ones do both.
I did both.
They have so many names for what they think I am, even the ones who see past the false pretenses and look down into me and find the sheer darkness of depression. I'm lost in the darkness, I've gone crazy from it, my soul is long gone, my mind along with it.
I don't care what they say.
They'll die soon. They all die. All that's carried on are memories, and only the strong ones survive the genrations to the point where they become tall tales. And it's then that they must be reminded again. A necessary evil you might say.
I don't pretend to have a reason, though those of younger generations seem to think they deserve one. They haven't lived long enough to realize that there is no logic anymore, not for me. the only truth I still know in this world is that you are born, and then you die.
And when you break that truth, you lose a little bit of yourself.
It's those dull and gray rainy days that do it to me. When the earth is slow and muffled and all you can think is that everything is so far away that you're suffocating. When you can feel but you can't and you smile even though you know that you're sad.
I can sit here and stare into nothing for hours and it feels like I haven't even been here. Feeling the world with no one around, reminding myself that I'm alive, that this is real... but not for long.
Maybe the world is crying.
-o-
A/N- . Uh...
I.. don't really know what that was. Weird weather plus weird mood makes for weird inspiration.
Honestly, I'm not sure if this is Hidan or Kakuzu talking. It started with one and ended with the other, heh. I suppose you can decide. ^_^
Review?
