Here are some things I find overwhelming
That seeps into my heart before I explode
The anger I am trying to hide
Bursts me wide open at the seams
When I see His name slandered
Space violated
My world twisted
Hearts broken.

I can hear them shouting in the streets
"God? God? Ha! Where is he?
If he is all that you say he is
Then why am I not rich? Why am I suffering?
I do not want you to impose your beliefs on me
Yet it is I who is persecuted
So watch me as I spit on you."

I can see their faces scorn
I can hear the resentment in their voices
Then I begin to doubt

Logic states that there couldn't be God
After all, we have all evolved from single-celled lifeforms
Where is He in that?
I look into His word
And I find something new
He has no limits, He exists outside and in, He is without sin
A day to him would be lifetimes past to us
So it's still possible that the world was created in that time
Because it's otherworldly and divine

In addition, I guess one needs to think like a Hebrew
After all they found El-Shaddai or well He chose them
Look how much they have gained!

I am still in a flux
Christians are divided
Not only over belief but doctrine
About being better than the others
Throwing people into confusion
Being Christian is believing in Christ
Following through His teachings
Not just literally but figuratively as well
I am frowned upon because of my Catholic background
Frowned upon going to a Victory Church
Frowned upon when I visit the Church of Nazarene
Frowned upon when I know Evangelists
Frowned. Disapproved. Disappointed. Yet am I loved?

Yes.
That is why I am overwhelmed
By my anger and my resentments
Overwhelmed also by the joy I've found
Through The Sacrificial Lamb
I may be different
Yet His acceptance of sinners like me
Takes my anger and changes it
Into a battle cry against my enemies in His name
So that I will become th warrior
The peacekeeper, the guard, the tower
All because He
is my rock.
Because He is my BANNER
He is my truth,
my light,
my joy,
my hope,
my peace,
my love,
my heart,
my wounds,
my comfort,
my console.

Yet He is not some object or subject like science, materials or desensitization
He is God, El-Shaddai, Adonai.
He is not tamed
Never will be tamed only loved and feared
For He is the truth
And most love and fear the truth

Amen