Note: Ok, I swore I wasn't going to write a threads story, but here it is. I could never see it working, but then I thought about changing my timing, and everything fell into place. So this story could have happened during the actual cannon series, and we'd never know.
This was by far the worst month of Sam's life.
The month her mom had died, that had been rough.
Desert Storm, that was less than fun.
That month when she was sixteen and recovering from the crash of her brand new motorcycle was not a picnic.
Her various experiences with aliens taking her over or torturing were not exactly things she wanted to relive.
When her nephew was born, and Mark hadn't even called her, she'd been less than thrilled.
The month her dad was so sick from chemo he couldn't cry wasn't exactly her favorite.
But this month, the hits had just kept coming. Everything was coming apart at the seams, unraveling.
First Daniel had been kidnapped, and probably tortured and killed by a robot who looked like her. A robot that wouldn't have existed if it weren't a copy of her.
Then Pete bought a house without asking her. And she could no longer ignore the nagging feeling in her heart. She knew she couldn't marry Pete. She couldn't just suck it up and pretend, and she couldn't just spend her life with someone she wasn't in love with.
But she still couldn't have the guy that she was actually in love with. She'd been telling herself that he was off-limits until they won the war. But now the war was won, and he was still off-limits. She was still unwilling to quit the Air Force. She still wouldn't ask him to quit. And switching from SG-1 to SG-2 wasn't an option now that the Colonel became a General. She'd still be in his chain of command.
Still, she went to the General's house. She planned on confessing everything. She wanted to beg him to tell her not to marry Pete. It was the same game that she'd been playing ever since the elevator. She'd play chicken, and he wouldn't take the bait. He wouldn't tell her not to date Pete any more than he wouldn't tell her to quit the Air Force.
And he was barbequing with a woman. The General was DATING someone. Someone from work, to make the whole thing a bit suckier.
Not that she really had a right to complain. I mean, she was ENGAGED, for crying out loud! She moved on, why couldn't he?
Because, she really couldn't move on, and if he could… after all this time, it had been in her head. She loved him, but he didn't love her. Maybe flirted with her, and a few jokes with multiple meanings, but never loved.
Then, while she was still standing there with her heart crushed into confetti on the General's deck, she got the call that her father was sick.
And she gets there, and finds out that he is not only sick, but dying. She thought she'd dealt with her father's mortality. When he had cancer, she'd known he was going to die. She'd watched him march toward death for months. She watched him be so sick that death looked merciful. She thought she was ready to see him die then, and that was before they saved the world together and took a motorcycle trip together. They'd stolen time, with crazily impossible alien technology.
But death is never easy. She found that this one stung just as much as her mother's. She now understands that all deaths come too soon.
Then she has to go and tell Pete she can't marry him. Because even if she can't have Jack, she would rather have no one, than a man she doesn't love. And it's hard to break the heart of a good man.
Yeah, it's been one hell of a month.
Sam sank onto her couch. She didn't have any energy left for anything. Not to change out of her BDUs into pajamas, not to make herself supper, not even to brush her teeth. She was just going to lay there on the couch until tomorrow when she has to get up, and work on the plans for her father's funeral. She should also make some calls about the wedding that was going to happen. If she had the energy, which she probably didn't.
And then there was a knock at the door. She opens it up to revel Jack, carrying two paper bags.
"Sir, I'm not sure I'm feeling up to company," she mutters.
"Aw, come on, Carter. I brought jello, beer, and ice cream," he says.
She laughs, "I don't eat ice cream."
"I know, but I thought this might qualify as an exception."
Suddenly tears start streaming down her face. He pulls her into a hug, pausing only to put away the ice cream and beer, before pulling her back onto the couch.
"Sir?" she asks, as he sits on the couch.
"Did you not hear me say 'always'?" he asks, sitting next to her and putting an arm around her.
"It's just so much…" she trails off.
"I know," he says.
"I mean, Daniel, my father, Pete…"
"What happened to Pete?" he asks, pulling away, surprised.
"I broke off my wedding," she says, looking down, ashamed. He's going to know he's the reason. He's going to think she expects something. But her ending it with Pete was far more about Pete than Jack. She had realized how cruel it was to pretend with him. Usually Jack hides his emotions, but this time a wide smile crosses his face. He pulls her closer to him so both of their sides are flush against one another.
She pulls away and looks at him in surprise, "Sir, I don't think Kerri would be comfortable with you…" she stammers awkwardly.
"Ah, Kerri doesn't care what I do anymore," he says.
"Oh?" she asks.
"We're done," he says.
A grin crosses Sam's face.
Her father's words reverberate in her skull, "Don't let the rules stand in your way."
"Sir, I want to go fishing." she says firmly.
"What?" he asks in shock.
She turns from confidant to bashful in a split second, "I'm sorry, you haven't asked me in a while. I don't know if… I shouldn't invite myself to your cabin."
"No, that's fine. Mi cabin is su cabin. I just figured you'd be busy for a bit," he says gently.
"I didn't mean right away. I was thinking after the funeral. I just feel like I need to get away," she says.
His face falls a little. Of course that's what she meant. She wasn't using fishing as a metaphor.
"And I want to take some advice my dad gave me before he died," she adds.
"What was that?" he asks.
She links his hand with hers. She searches his eyes rather frantically trying to figure out if he's ok with it.
"Carter?" he asks.
"Sir," she says, "At first, we were waiting. And then I couldn't wait any more, so… Pete. And now that Pete is out of the way, I still don't want to wait." She hopes it is both clear enough to be impossible to misunderstand, and ambiguous enough to keep her from court martial if he isn't willing to open that door.
Not that she really thought the Colonel would court martial her. Probably not even if she did something to really deserve it. Like shoot him. He'd just assume she had a damn good reason, and offer to help her with the paperwork as he bled out on the floor.
He swallows so hard that his Adam's apple goes up and down. "I don't want to wait any more, either."
She smiles, and he feels her whole body relax beside her.
"What does this mean?" Jack asks her.
"I hope there can be more of this," she says, squeezing his hand.
"Right, but what are we doing professionally? Should I retire from the Air Force, and go civilian, should I just plain retire, is one of us going to transfer, or are you going to be a civilian scientist, are we just going to break the rules?"
"Wow, you've thought about this," she says.
"You haven't?" he asks, looking wounded.
She knows simple words won't be enough to erase the doubt. So she gets up, and walks into her study. She pulls out a resignation letter, and places it on Jack's lap.
He picks it up and reads it. A grin sneaks onto his face. "How long have you had this, Carter?"
"Seven years."
"C'mere," he says, and she sits down beside him. She never feels so safe as when she is enveloped in his hug. "I don't want to risk your career," he says.
"I don't want to end yours," she says.
"So that leaves us with reassignment," he says.
"Jack, I don't want the world to end because we decided we couldn't wait. I don't think either of us is done with the SGC."
"If we do this, with our current jobs," he says with a deep breath, "And we get caught, it will probably be your career that's hurt."
"I don't care," she says leaning her head against his shoulder.
"This isn't just because it's been a hell of a month is it Carter? I mean, you're not going to change your mind when everything settles down?
"No," she says with absolute assurance. More assurance than she uses even when she is talking about science.
"Carter, are you really sure you want a beat-up old soldier? You know you could do better."
"You're the only one that I want," she tells him. "And I really need it to begin now. I need… something good, right now."
He pulls away from her, and turns toward her on the couch. He leans so close that their faces are only an inch apart. He holds it there, and holds it there, until she can't take it anymore, and bridges the last gap between them.
His mouth is smirking as their lips meet, and hers quickly moves to match it. It's soft and romantic, and ends with a laugh.
"You're a tease," she says, putting her hand on his cheek.
"Says the woman who once walked into the locker room wearing this cute little tank top…"
She smacks his shoulder playfully.
"So you really want to go fishing?" he asks.
She nods.
"I mean, we could do something you actually wanted to do."
"I actually really want to see your cabin," she says, "Unless you don't want me to," she says with furrowed eyebrows.
"No, I want you to see the cabin. I just worry about your getting bored," he says.
"Well, then we could do this," she says, leaning in to a kissable distance and teasing him with the wait. He takes bottom lip between hers, and tugs at it a bit before pulling his head back just an inch. She snakes a hand behind his head to intertwine with his short gray hair, and to hold him still. But she doesn't close the gap for a kiss. This time she is going to wait him out. It's a long wait, but he finally gives in and kisses her.
She finds that she doesn't mind waiting, as long as she is sure there is something to wait for.
