Lithium
A Total Drama series fanfic by cakeonfire911
Disclaimer: I do not own the Total Drama series; it is the property of Teletoon and Cartoon Network.
A/N: Can being in a major Nirvana phase allow me to produce decent work? We'll see…
Izzy was happy. She did not need human companionship to bring her such joy; her true friends inhabited her mind. She made her own friends, and that was good enough for her. But she certainly missed having others around…
Her self-esteem was low. Every day she told her reflection in the mirror, "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the ugliest of them all?" and she would answer back with her name. However, she never seemed to care much about that. Other people, she believed, were just as ghastly (if not more) as her.
She held a high value for religion. On Sundays she tried to visit every church in town, just to make herself feel better. She lit candles each night, for no matter how paranoid she became in the opposite direction, she still believed she had found God.
These techniques did not seem to work for her. She was alone and afraid of the world around her, even if she did not appear to be that way in public. At one point, she decided to shave her head to make her happy. And as every fiery lock of hair fell from her head, she told herself, "I'm not sad."
So many other people were mentally ill. She knew that. Perhaps she was alright compared to the people she heard of. But there was always that feeling of uncertainty taking its course through her mind and body.
She had an exuberant, carefree attitude, especially around others. She hung upside-down from tree branches, jumped from miscellaneous platforms, and so many other thrilling things… no one bothered to think that she could be depressed.
She had a high libido and plenty of kinks. She wanted to kiss one, sleep with another, whip yet another. She practiced on inanimate objects, and even though it did not feel the same, she told herself that trying to live out these fantasies proved how good her will was.
She liked these things about herself, and she would not crack under the pressure.
She missed so many people; she would not crack.
She loved them all; she would not crack.
She murdered them, but she did not dare crack.
She was to be "happy" for the rest of her life, and she was alright with that.
