Chapter 1
"I've already told you, you idiot!"
The captain of Kaijo High School gave a fierce smack on the team's ace's nape.
"The guy with the black hair is the one who's looking for his lost child, not the other one! How can you confuse them?"
Kasamatsu continued irritated while pointing to the respective guy at the television.
"Aaah, my mind just wondered for a bit senpai!"
Kise responded carefree but the truth was that he was entirely focused on figuring the solution of the problem... but not the protagonist's one.
"What part of the movie have you understood so far?"
The brunette asked even more annoyed as he felt like he was watching the movie with a piece of wood.
"Well, the guy with the black hair is searching for his child that disappeared while being on his way to his fellow student's party... But then, the father, with the black hair..."
Kasamatsu was glaring at Kise, reckoning that the latter was really asking to be smacked.
"...found a pile of papers with a research that his son was doing on a government investigation, so he's pretty sure that his son had been abducted by government officials. You see Kasamatsu senpai? I am paying attention!"
Kise finished with a playful grin and the other just turned his attention towards the television again.
"Then stop asking me stupid questions..."
The blonde sighed relieved for he wasn't going to be hit (at least for the time being) and then riveted his gaze on the screen; although his mind wasn't connected with the images shown in front of him.
Two hours had passed since Kise's arrival at Kasamatsu's house. Two hours had also passed since Moriyama's, Kobori's and Hayakawa's cancellation to Kasamatsu's invitation... Even though all of the members of their basketball team were utterly synchronized when it came to games and matches, the truth was that in personal matters and in their everyday life... well, they were anything but mentally united; which had resulted in another misunderstanding about the day that Kasamatsu had invited his teammates. In the end, Kaijo's ace was the only one who had never misinterpreted or misheard the captain, and for one more time, the two of them were watching a movie without the others.
Kise took a closer look at their surroundings. It wasn't like he had never been to Kasamatsu's house before, yet he always noted some small details that would secretly signify the owner's inner state. Maybe he was strange for noticing something like that, but the younger boy found great satisfaction in knowing things about his captain, who rarely -if ever- talked about his inmost emotions and desires.
'Ah, the vase he treasures so much isn't in the exact center of the table!'
The blonde observed almost panicky, wondering why in the world the vase that was Kasamatsu's family's memento wasn't located in the way that the captain thought was 'proper' (as he himself had worded).
'Ah, that...!'
Kise hardly restrained himself from jolting as his eyes had pierced through the miniature rug that decorated the floor of the living room, right in front of the couch they were sitting on. One of the rug's corners was folded topsyturvy, as if someone had accidentally lifted it before stepping on top of it.
'M... Maybe I did it, and he didn't notice?'
The younger deemed a bit scared, wondering what the consequences would be when his captain finally took notice of it.
'But this...! !'
This time, the way that the small portrait that colored the room's empty white was so unevenly placed on the wall, forced Kise to stand up astounded.
"What is it?"
Kasamatsu asked with widened eyes, being even more perplexed and surprised than the other.
"I... I have to use the bathroom!"
Kise said instantly and departed from the living room in a flash.
"I'm pausing the movie!"
'What's up with him...?'
The brunette had to talk louder for the other, who had already left, to hear him and he couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with his teammate.
'What's wrong with him? !'
Ironically, Kise, who was now standing into the bathroom and walking in circles, was asking himself the exact same thing.
'How is it possible for senpai to be so careless? Something must have happened...!'
The blonde had started sweating from all the pressure, afraid that something horrible (was it a relative's death? Was it a bad grade? Was it financial difficulties? Kise couldn't decide!) had forced Kasamatsu to lose his mind and act so unnatural.
'I must ask him... But he will beat me! And he will not respond at all! He will say something like -...'
"Kise, are you okay?"
Kasamatsu's soft voice made the younger boy jump and all Kise could think of at that moment was: He wouldn't say something like that...
"Kise?"
"A-ah, I'm fine!"
The brunette repeated troubled and Kaijo's ace tried -unsuccessfully- to hide his discomfort behind the shut bathroom door. The truth was that Kasamatsu's voice was much gentler and smoother than any other time which had resulted in Kise's worries increasing rapidly.
"Kasamatsu senpai!"
He shouted as he opened the bathroom's door and bowed in front of his bewildered captain.
"I will help you!"
Kise continued with his head still lowered, forcing a vein to appear on the brunette's forehead...
"What is it, this time...?"
Kasamatsu asked, grinding his teeth nervously, being already prepared for smacking the hell out of his friend.
"Please do not be mad at me senpai, it's just that..."
The blonde finally looked the other in the eye and continued his statement with an extremely quick pace.
"I noticed how the vase that is really important to you is not located in the exact center of the table, and the rug that's in the living room is folded topsyturvy on one corner and the portrait you have on the wall is really wrongly placed, and I was wondering what happened that made senpai to be so careless and unwary...!"
As soon as Kise stopped talking in order to breathe, Kaijo's captain had been entirely immobilized, as if someone had hit him with a heavy object on the head and he was about to pass out.
"Kasamatsu senpai...?"
Kise asked, hoping to receive any kind of response from the other (even a punch would be better than nothing) but Kasamatsu didn't seem able to answer... In fact, his mind was still replaying everything he had just heard.
'That idiot...'
The brunette deemed while staring in the gold colored orbs in front of him.
'Since when does he notice that much...? Why does he even bother?'
He continued, momently looking sideways, and feeling his face becoming feverish.
"Are you done with the bathroom?"
"Eh...?"
Kasamatsu's question took the other off guard, but all the first wanted to do was to disappear from Kise's sight for a while, so that he could hide his embarrassing expression from him.
"Kasamatsu senpai why are you red? Do you have a fever? Is this why you couldn't properly prepare the house like you always do?"
A strong kick was landed on the blonde's stomach and the latter had to bend inwards to cope with the pain.
"I've already told you to stop asking stupid questions!"
The captain shouted and while steadily holding his pride in place, he entered the bathroom and pushed the other in order to make him exit out of it...
"W-wait senpai!"
...but Kise wasn't going to give up that easily.
The two boys struggled for a while, one pushing the other for the sake of his ego, and the latter trying to get into the bathroom in order to help his friend in whichever way he could. For once, Kise was, not only going against his captain, but he was also stubbornly striving for victory (for which, when it came down to their arguments, Kise was truly helpless).
"Let me in!"
"I want to use the bathroom! Are you an idiot? Go to the living room!"
Despite how much louder the older boy's voice was, Kise managed, with some swift but felicitous movements to finally surpass the first's strength and quite clumsily, he held Kasamatsu's cheeks in his hands.
"Senpai you're burning! You need to lie down!"
The blonde's obliviousness flustered the hot tempered boy even more, causing his blush to spread from his cheeks to his entire face and ears.
'What am I going to do?'
Kasamatsu deemed silently that if he was going to voice that he was actually blushing and not having a fever then... Well, there wasn't a single chance he would ever admit something like that.
"I'll be fine Kise! Just... let go!"
Kaijo's captain tried to punch Kise but the second had grabbed tightly his superior's hands and was pulling him towards his bed in order to lie down before anything worse happened -Kise couldn't help but be overwhelmed with thoughts of his captain being too weak and having to call an ambulance so that he'd be safe.
"Where is your first aid kit senpai? I'll get it for you as soon as you lie down!"
"I said I'll be fi-in-!"
The brunette didn't manage to finish his sentence as Kise had finally succeeded in forcefully luring him into his bedroom and he quickly pushed the older boy on the bed who naturally felt a bit dizzy while falling backwards. Of course, Kise wasn't going to miss that...
"Aaah, Kasamatsu senpai are you okay? Why did you have to be so resistant about lying down? You got dizzy now, didn't you?"
"It's because I fell backwards you idiot!"
Kasamatsu wasn't sure anymore whether Kise really was that oblivious or if he was entirely stupid.
"Where is your first aid kit senpai?"
The blonde repeated without paying any attention to the other's insults.
"I don't need the first aid kit..."
The hot tempered boy mumbled under his breath while lifelessly lying on the bed, having completely given up on knocking some sense into his hopeless friend.
"But it could get worse senpai...! Did you have a fever earlier as well? Did you make any exaggerating physical exercises? Did you have a bath and then left the house right away before drying off? Did y-"
"It's blushing you fucking idiot!"
Kasamatsu couldn't take it anymore... Kise's stupidity was truly unbearable.
"I do not have a fever! It's called a blush, and it happens when someone else says something too embarrassing and doesn't even realize it!"
The words came out all at once from his mouth, rendering the blonde unable to react in any way. The captain closed his eyes as he placed one hand around his forehead and sighed deeply, wanting to smack his head for this turn of events- and for his inability to keep his cool.
Despite Kasamatsu's regrets and troubled expression, the other person in the room didn't seem to be uneasy in the least. In fact, Kise felt rather elated by his captain's confession... He seemed a bit excited, or maybe even... satisfied? Content? As no words would come out of the blonde's mouth, Kasamatsu finally opened his eyes and the expression on Kise's face shouted something that the brunette should have realized from the beginning...
"Succeeess~"
Kise shouted playfully and formed the shape of "V" with his hand.
"Senpai, you are really difficult when it comes to expressing your emotions, aren't you? And I was thinking if I would be able to make you speak your heart to me for once... I was so troubled that I couldn't even concentrate on the movie, you know!"
"You..."
A deadly aura had surrounded the lying boy but Kise, who was too focused on expressing his own thoughts, hadn't noticed Kasamatsu's sinister wrath.
"Because it's not like I don't care! This is why I wanted you Kasamatsu senpai to freely express to me what is troubling you... From the start, I was quite shocked to see you blushing, but I knew that if I pushed you at your limits then you'd finally voice out loud whatever was worrying you and didn't let you prepare your house like you always did... So, are you ready to tell me now, senpai?"
Kise's oh-so-casual smile was soon to be extinguished from his face as Kaijo's captain did an abrupt movement and punched the first's face.
"Awww, not the face senpai!"
"Are you fucki-"
"No, not this time senpai!"
The blonde didn't allow Kasamatsu to raise his body (or raise another fist on him) as he tightly held his wrists against the bed, not letting him escape.
"You will tell me what's troubling you!"
"What the hell is wrong with you? Let me g-"
"This isn't the first time that it happens senpai! You need to tell me what is troubling you!"
Kasamatsu ought to confess that he felt a bit panicky by his teammate's blunt behavior. Even though they would have quite a few arguments once in a while, they'd never really physically hurt... err... Well, they'd never act in ways that would make one another feel trapped and helpless.
"What is it you want?"
The brunette voiced while struggling to remove the other's clenches from around his hands.
"I want you to be honest senpai! I want you to tell me what's been bothering you for the past two months that you can't even properly prepare your house for your friends' arrival! I've kept quiet for too long senpai! I can't keep going on, knowing that there's something troubling you!"
Kasamatsu widened his eyes baffled at the younger's statements.
'For the past two months...? This is when...!'
Even though the captain kept his mouth shut, Kise could easily see the perturbation in the first's eyes.
"What is it senpai? Tell me!"
He shouted desperate but Kasamatsu was too dismayed to respond.
It had already been two months since that happened... Actually, it had been two months since Kasamatsu had finally realized what was going on with him, but that... That was happening for a while now.
At first, the captain wasn't able to accept it. Thoughts that made no sense, fantasies and dreams that disturbed the living hell out of him and an uncomfortable rapid heartbeat that occurred whenever he got closer with the team's ace. Kasamatsu had presumed with the utmost certainty that he was going crazy. He knew that he wasn't gay (or at least it felt really comfortable saying that to himself) and he knew that Kise was the most annoying living creature that ever set foot on this ground; but he couldn't deny that he enjoyed his company and the time they spent together... The more days passed by, the more he realized that his presumption was unbelievably wrong and the more he denied all these feelings that were unwillingly chasing him away, the more he got to comprehend what truly existed within his heart.
He was in love. It was the first time he ever felt something so intense and the entire world seemed to be against his own happiness. However, the truth was that he didn't expect anything less than that. Thanks to his advancement in basketball and in some other of life's aspects, Kasamatsu was well aware that success and happiness would never be offered at someone's doorstep, but people would always have to strive and struggle in order to get what they believed they deserved. What they believed they deserved... The brunette never had any doubts when it came to his favorite sport, but love...? For some reason Kasamatsu found that love wasn't fit for everyone.
"Will you let go of my hands?"
Kaijo's captain asked calmly (although his frown wouldn't disappear from his face) and Kise stared into his eyes with nothing but childish stubbornness- and great concern; which Kasamatsu had chosen to ignore.
"Not until you tell me what's wrong."
The blonde responded steadily and Kasamatsu knew that he had been trapped in a deadlock.
'I'll have to lie my way out of this.'
He thought cautiously but Kise's voice easily scattered that hope of his.
"And do not think that you can get away with lying! I know when you spout lies senpai."
The ace said decisively and the other sighed troubled.
"You can't really know everything about me..."
The brunette spelled truthfully and momently thought of how wrong it was of him to have accepted what he was feeling towards his teammate. In the end he knew that he couldn't and he wasn't going to make any "moves" towards his friend. He wasn't going to flirt with him and, god knows how Kise would react to such an invitation from his male friend... Kasamatsu wasn't going to take any risks and in this case, he wasn't even sure if he deserved what he was going after.
"Why can't I?"
Kise asked him with childish innocence and the captain looked at him deadly.
"Don't play dumb with me Kise. I can tell when you lie and when you're being honest as well."
Kasamatsu's eyes showed pure fury but his close distance with his friend didn't allow his voice to go on a higher volume.
"You're right senpai... You know me all too well."
Kise voiced as the look of innocence disappeared from his face and an angry one took its place.
"You know more about me than I know about you senpai. You've heard all of my stories, while I've heard none of yours. You always know how to cheer me up and motivate me during the matches but I miserably fail whenever I try to do the same to you."
'This is not true...'
Kasamatsu contemplated silently but didn't bother interrupting the other.
"And lately... Lately you seem to be living in another space senpai. Whenever we talk with each other, your mind always wanders and even when we're playing together, you seem to be avoiding giving me any passes."
'I'm trying to resist you, you idiot...'
Another thought that wasn't going to be expressed verbally or in any other way...
"So I want to know what's wrong... Did I do something that pushed you away? Did you hear anything bad about me that made you think twice about being friends with me? Because you know, there are many rumors about me senpai... You'll hear some really crazy things but I always took for granted that you would never believe any of them."
'Rumors huh...'
The captain thought passively. What was going to happen if anyone found out about his feelings towards Kise? How many "rumors" would that spread? How many of his friends would he lose? How much hatred would he receive from his family...?
'Ah, I wouldn't be able to cope with that...'
Kasamatsu thought in despair.
"And even now, that I'm talking to you senpai, your mind wanders! I can clearly see it in your eyes! It's as if I'm talking to a piece of wood!"
Kise shouted angrily and the brunette felt truly vulnerable for being so transparent to him.
"I'm not the piece of wood here you idiot..."
He mumbled unconsciously, only to instantly regret it.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Kaijo's ace asked both annoyed and perplexed. Was this an innuendo he was supposed to deduce?
"Nothing, it means nothing..."
Kasamatsu said with a sigh.
"Let go of my hands Kise..."
As if he had lost all of his strength, the usually hot tempered boy was now hardly able to utter any words... What was the point anyway? It was neither like he was going to confess to the other, nor that Kise would just figure out on his own what was going on within his captain's heart. Even if the ace was able to copy any style he wanted, Kasamatsu knew that the first's hands would never be able to reach so deep in his chest.
"I will not let go of your hands until you tell me what's troubling you senpai. Even if I starve to death, I will still be holding your hands hopeful."
"If you starve to death you won't be able to feel any emotions idiot! You will be dead."
Kasamatsu's heart skipped a beat at those words. He thought that the name Kise and the adjective dead should never be voiced in the same sentence again.
"Is that it senpai? Did a person you love die?"
The captain widened his eyes shocked at the other's serious question.
"W-what kind of messed up question is that? Of course not!"
He shouted angrily but Kise was still staring at him gravely.
"Did you mess up with your grades?"
"As if! How did this even pass through your mind?"
"Do you have any financial difficulties?"
"Huh? Why are you being so random all of a sudden?"
"Do you?"
The blonde's questions, one after another, seemed too irrelevant to make any sense.
"No!"
"Did you have a fight with a friend?"
"I am having a fight right now!"
Kise smiled at the brunette's last response.
"Did you hurt your body anywhere that's causing you too much pain when you're playing basketball?"
"Huh? I said what's up with all these ques-"
"Did you?"
"NO!"
"Did you fall in love with someone?"
A faint flinch and a few milliseconds of delay were followed by a "no" that forced a wide smile on the ace's face.
"Aaah, I finally found what's troubling you senpai!"
"What are you talking about you idiot?"
Kise's extremely playful -and fairly cunning- behavior forced quite a burden on Kasamatsu's chest. Was he really so incompetent against him? If only he could slide one hand away from his friend's grip, then he'd beat the hell out of him before he finally stood triumphed with an unconscious Kise on the floor; well, he definitely wouldn't push it that far, but some bruises on the model's face didn't sound like a bad idea.
"Now, I will not let go of you senpai, until you tell me her name!"
The smiling person, whom the captain currently wanted to see bloody, shouted cheerfully as he tightened his grip even more around the other's hands.
"Why would I be troubled if I were in love you nitwit?"
One insult after another, Kise didn't really seem to mind, yet Kasamatsu was desperately trying to escape him with any means possible.
"Ah, well~ Kasamatsu senpai, you are always too proud and stubborn for your own good, so I believe if you fell in love with someone, it'd just be a good deal of annoyance for you as all of your defenses would disappear around that person. In the end, I'm sure you'd love her, but you'd also be extremely angry at her for making you be that vulnerable. So, what's her naaame~? Tell me senpai!"
'Here he goes, saying more embarrassing things...'
Kasamatsu thought while staring deep into his gleeful eyes. Truthfully, what was he supposed to say? Kise had figured him all out...
"I'm not going to tell you."
The captain eventually spelled, being unable to deny what was so obvious for the other.
"Ooooh? Should I guess then?"
The brunette smiled at Kise's intense exhilaration and thrill towards finding out the person who had trapped Kasamatsu's interest.
"Sure."
The older boy responded slyly, knowing all too well that Kise wasn't going to find out the name (or even the gender) of that person.
An enormous list of female names were being voiced by the blonde, and one after another, Kasamatsu was rejecting all of them. Kise had pushed it so far, that he had even started saying some names of girls he didn't even know, who just happened to cross his way once in his life, at one of his photoshootings or at his matches, impatiently waiting for an autograph.
"I don't even know these girls you idiot."
The brunette responded irked, but the ace could easily spot the faint lopsided smile that existed on the captain's face.
"Ah, but I can't think of any other girls senpai! All that's left are male names... You don't happen to be gay, do you senpai?"
"Shut the fuck up Kise! Do I look like a fag to you?"
He screamed... And screaming was the best defense he ever had.
'Sen... pai...?'
Now everything was so clear to Kise... It wasn't as clear as the other had wanted (the blonde was still unaware of who was the captain's love interest) but he had at least realized what Kasamatsu had been avoiding from the beginning.
So what if he was gay? Kise thought that it really made no difference to him. Senpai would always be senpai despite his sexual preferences. Kasamatsu's hands would always be strong and his ability in playing basketball would remain the same no matter what. Of course, Kise knew better than to spout all these statements that rapidly were uttered in his head. The blonde knew that it wasn't really a matter of change towards a specific sport, but rather, society's reaction and denial towards his preferences.
'How will he keep his pride if he admits something like that...?'
He reckoned dejected and Kasamatsu had realized that the ace was instantly calculating pros and cons for what he had just discovered.
"I told you I'm not, Kise!"
The captain screamed for one more time and the blonde wore the most fake smile he ever had had, before finally letting go of the superior's wrists and silently started heading towards the living room.
"Hold on!"
Kasamatsu shouted and grabbed Kise's collar .
"Who the fuck do you think you are, making such assumptions and then entirely doubting my words? Do I look like a fag to you Kise?"
He was so angry that his words weren't shouted anymore, rather they were whispered with the utmost fury, wrath and pain; something that amongst them two, only Kise seemed to notice.
"You do not look like a fag senpai."
Kise responded smilingly. What was the point of him having an honest expression when his captain didn't utter honest words?
"Are you fucking mocking me?"
Kasamatsu tightened his grip and for some reason his eyesight had become blurry.
"I really don't care senpai... Whether you like girls or boys... As long as you're the same person, I-"
"I said I'm not gay for fuck's sake!"
The captain landed a strong punch on the ace's face, who fell on the floor in pain, and then the first rapidly headed towards his bathroom, being unable to hide the tears that had been formed in his eyes.
"If that's your opinion of me Kise, then leave from my house this instance..."
Trembling words were uttered before he finally slammed the bathroom's door behind him and Kise had wordlessly remained on the ground, the gravity's powerful force being too intense and suffocating for him to stand on his feet... Or maybe it was Kasamatsu's pain that prevented him from leaving his side.
A/N: Please review! :) ..if you'd like. xD It's my first Kise x Kasamatsu story~
