One Last Dance
Started with a sweet kiss;
Never knew it'd end like this.
Why are we gonna play,
This little game of who's to blame?
When we both know that things never seem to change
Cause we keep acting like everything's still the same.
He'll never know the number of times he broke my heart. He can't realize all the hurt I've felt. Nor will he ever be aware of all the tears that fell down my face. I'm a perfectionist at mending the broken pieces of my heart for him to notice.
He can't recognize all the happiness he's brought me. He'll never know how much he means to me. And although he knows I love him, he'll never truly comprehend the meaning of those three little words from me... at least not now.
I have fallen head over heels for my best friend. And not in a baby crush but as one of those hopeless, romantic people who wish their love life could have one of those movie endings that seem crazy yet logical because you want to believe in them. I hope for a miracle to happen as I see him praying for his own with the girl whom he swears is the one.
I'm still not sure why he didn't ask her to go to prom with him but I'm not complaining. After all, it gives us time to spend together before our graduation that seems to be right around the corner. For tonight, at least for this night, he's mine.
I feel nervous as I stare myself in the mirror. My dress is too simple while my make-up and hairdo seem like I've overdone it. My pink dress hangs too loosely around my waist to flatter my figure. My hair is swept in a messy side bun and my natural makeup makes my brown eyes pop out and look bigger than they already are.
I fight the urge to take it all off and tell Austin that I'm too sick to go. Parties and any social event in a matter of fact, have never really been my scene. A thousand thoughts rush through my mind as I imagine every possible scenario where things go wrong. The worst one being that he leaves me for another girl.
But he's not my date so I can't really say that he'll leave me for another girl. It'll be more like I was too boring for him to stick around. Ouch that hurts. But then again he did ask me if I needed a ride to prom so that counts as asking out right? I bit my hair as I impatiently wait for Austin and try to keep my paranoid thoughts at bay.
I'm ready to call it off when I hear a soft knock on the door. I know who's on the other side but I still can't believe it. When I open the door I find the only person that has stolen my heart. He has a childish smile on his lips as his eyes outshine the stars. As I see his wardrobe I realize that he's matching with me.
"Hey Austin," I say in a cheerful voice.
It's amazing how he can still leave me speechless just by looking at me. He can still give me the same amount of butterflies he gave me on our first kiss; although it was more of a dare than a romantic moment. There's just something about him that has my heart enchanted.
"Hey there beautiful," he tells me sweetly.
I chuckle softly at my nickname. I'm not sure how it came to be or when he started using it, but all I know that it's one of the reasons why I'm head over heels for him. And it doesn't help when I know that I'm the only girl he uses that nickname on.
Before we can say anything else my dad comes out with his infamous camera. I know it's important to capture moments in a picture but my dad takes like a hundred before he lets me go.
"Hey kids, I just wanted to take a picture of you guys before you left," he says awkwardly as he takes out the camera that he had been hiding.
We try different poses as we try to please my dad. I keep telling Austin to let him know when he's had enough but he keeps telling me that he doesn't really mind. After a hundred and ten pictures later, Austin and I are still in the same situation as I try to explain to my dad that he's not even my date to be taking this many photos.
We're standing side by side when Austin leans down to whisper softly in my ear, "You want to know a secret?"
I'm trying my hardest not to move disruptively for the picture as I slowly say, "Yea."
"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."
He's told me these words before. Beautiful and my name are not a strange combination when the sentence is coming out of his mouth. It's just something about the way he said it and how sincere his voice sounded that grabs my attention.
I turn to look at him as I find him with his million dollar smile blinding my eyes. He's looking at me with admiration and for a split second, the thought of him loving me more than friends crosses my mind.
"That's a keeper!" my dad shouts too loud; interrupting whatever we had going on between us.
We get startled at the sound of his voice and when I look into Austin's eyes again, the stare he gave me a few moments ago is gone. It's replaced by the same admiration he has for me as his friend.
We try to hold on,
As we find ourselves falling apart.
We don't want to let go,
Want to go back to before,
But we're almost over.
I know that the clock is counting down the seconds we have left together. I know that we have said everything except the goodbye that needs to be heard. I know that he has to go and I have to stay. I've known this since the first day of our senior year.
It's one topic that we always avoid when we're together. It's just easier to ignore than to spend every second figuring out how we're going to be able to survive without the other.
We're still close; the only difference is that our dreams between then and now have changed. All that's left is to close the book of our story and move on to make those new dreams of ours into reality as one of us moves across the country and the other one stays back home.
The ride to our school goes fast. Soon he's turning off the engine and we look at the entrance to see couples walking in, girls who show off their figure with their dresses, and single guys who try their best not to drool. The pounding of music is in the air and I can only hope that Austin will make this night fun for me. Because so far I think I'd be better off in the library learning calculus.
I'm caught off guard when he intertwines our fingers to grab my attention. He has a beautiful smile that makes his teeth look extra white and straight. I still can't believe that I'm lucky enough to have him as my friend.
"Oh I almost forgot," he shouts out as he struggles with his seatbelt to get something from the back seat.
I can tell by the look on his face that his trying his hardest to obtain the object. His tongue is slightly sticking out and his eyebrows bunch up together as he focuses.
A few seconds later he has a beautiful yellow corsage that makes me feel like he did ask me to go as his date for prom. I can't help myself when I feel my heart rate going a little bit faster and letting my mind wonder all the possibilities.
"I know it doesn't match your dress but I wanted to give you a yellow rose because I cherish our friendship and I think you deserve it for being such an awesome friend!" He exclaims to me with a glowing smile and twinkle in his eyes.
Although his action is sweet I can't help but wish that he was going to tell me something else. As I look up to see him again he looks like anything is possible at this moment. As if he can stop the future from interfering with our friendship. As if he won't be moving to LA the moment we graduate. Right now we really are invincible… even if it's just for tonight
I thank him for the corsage and when he's done putting it on my wrist, he grabs my hand once again as he says, "Want to get out of here?"
I nod my head in agreement and next thing I know, we're driving to who knows where.
Just promise me tonight,
One last dance before we say goodbye.
I don't mind if my heart is breaking.
Won't you just, hold me baby?
One last kiss, for you and me;
That's all I wish, before you leave.
Just promise me tonight,
One last dance before we say goodbye.
Somehow we end up on top of a hill; trying to count stars from his car hood. The view of our home town takes our breaths away. The city lights make an ocean of stars; all waiting for someone to make a wish on them. Waiting for someone to notice their beauty.
"Do you remember the first time we danced?" He asks me absent minded.
"How can I forget? It was the first time I danced decently in public until someone dropped me," I joke around with him.
"Hey I apologized for that a long time ago! You told me that it was no big deal," he says in defense.
I chuckle at his reaction and before I can stop myself, I hear myself saying, "You still owe me a dance."
I mentally palm myself as I wonder why I even reminded him of that stupid promise he made after dropping me at Trish's Quincenera. I want him to change the conversation, to make an excuse for a reason why he can't dance with me tonight, but my heart, my hopeless heart, wants to hear him say he wants to dance with me.
I'm surprised when I find him already staring at me with his childish grin on his lips when I turn to look at him. The twinkle in his eyes lets me know that he remembers the promise he made me all too well and something about the fact that I know he's going to do it thrills me.
He runs his hand through his hair before asking me in a husky tone, "May I have this dance?"
I laugh at his silliness but before I can say yes or no he's pulling me on my feet and leading me to the center of the pavement. We slowly start swaying in place and soon I'm laying my head in the crook of his neck when I hear him sing.
"And I don't know how it gets better than this, I take your hand and drag you headfirst, fearless. And I don't know why but with you I'd dance, In a storm in my best shoes, fearless"
A small smile creeps on my face as I realize he still remembers that it's one of my favorite songs from Taylor Swift. I make sure to memorize his voice. Who knows how much time will pass before I get to hear him like this again. After all, we both know that he's leaving the moment we graduate. He got a new record deal in L.A., and even though he asked me to continue to be his songwriter, I'd rather stay back home.
As I hear him sing the last few notes of the song, he spins me around, dips me, and before I know it, he is kissing me. Fearless.
It's funny how the time goes by.
Now we're trying to rewind.
Back to yesterday,
When things seemed to be okay.
Still wondering what, it could've been cause
There's not a moment that, I don't think about us.
Time can make things better. It can erase almost everything that you want to forget. Sometimes it even erases the things you wish could remember. That's just how good time can be. But no matter how much it tries to erase the past into the forgotten, it still can't take away the memories.
It's nice to hear about him every now and then. Sometimes I get a call from Trish telling me how his career is going and other times from Dez. It's good to read about him in magazines. Even though sometime I feel like I'm stalking him when I read them.
He always sneaks into my mind when I least expect him to. After high school, keeping in touch just seemed impossible. Time change, busy schedules, and living our own lives just kept getting in the way.
Every once in a while I get a long handwritten letter from him. They always bring new news about his latest hit or girlfriend. He tries to describes to me the life he lives, but he never forgets to mention how everything in Miami is so much better than in L.A.
It's these letters that leave me wondering what if. What if we dated? What if we talked about the innocent kiss we shared on prom night? What if I had gone to L.A. with him to be his songwriter? If any of these what ifs had happened, would I still find myself thinking what ifs for the wrong reason?
I guess I'll never know cause all we seem to be are what ifs.
But we've moved on.
I guess our story had flaws.
We didn't want to let go,
Still wanna go back to before,
But our story ended.
I still can't believe that she's getting married tomorrow. I've been sitting outside of her parents' house for an hour as I try to find the courage to go inside. This really shouldn't bother me but something about her last name changing doesn't seem right. At least not to me.
I bet she thinks I've stood her up. I bet she thinks I'm too busy being with my "girlfriend" to take a break from my life as a celebrity to come and visit her tonight. To be honest I don't have a girlfriend at the moment. And I'm not busy, I'm just don't want to face the fact that come tomorrow's dawn, whatever we had going on for the past few years is ending. There will no longer be Austin&Ally, just Austin and Ally.
I take a deep breath and roughly run my fingers through my hair before I step out of the car. It's now or never I guess. As I stuff my hands into my pocket, I remember a long lost dream of mine as I pull out a locket with Ally's name on it.
I smile weakly at it before hiding it back in my pockets, waiting to be found once again like a long lost treasure. I take short jagged steps to her front porch and decide to let myself in so I don't disrupt the party.
To my surprise the guests are at full swing as they chat and dance. They're all caught up in their own world and I find old friends in the sea of crowd but I can't find the only person I need to see.
After finding my way through the maze of people, I spot her sitting outside on a hammock as she swings herself softly. She still looks as beautiful as I remembered. If not, more.
Cautiously I make my way towards her. I'm thrilled with the idea of having her to myself for one last time. At least for these last moments, we can go back to the way things used to be. Before I moved to L.A. Before she met Dallas.
Just promise me tonight,
One last dance before we say goodbye.
I don't mind if my heart is breaking.
Won't you just, hold me baby?
One last kiss, for you and me.
That's all I wish, before you leave.
Just promise me tonight,
One last dance before goodbye.
Every memory we made rushes through my mind as I softly say, "Hey there beautiful."
A small, sweet smile starts to form on her face. Seeing this simple action makes me happy as I know that I'm the reason.
"I didn't think you'd come," She whispers softly after a few moments of silence.
She's not looking at me but I guess she's not ignoring me. I take a seat next to her before I say, "Ally I would never leave you on a special day like this." In truth this is the last place I want to be. But I know that if I didn't come, it would be devastating for her.
"I know. It's just that you didn't showed up on time and I thought that something came up or you know..." she is fidgeting with her hair as I chuckle lightly to her reaction. She's always been the one in team Austin to over think things. Even when there's not much to think about.
Silence creeps in as we stare at the city lights. It's not awkward, it's not comfortable, it's just there. Giving an empty hollow feeling with it. I wonder what Ally would say if I asked her to runaway with me. I don't know where we'd go or what we'd do but I want her to be mine.
Reason coming over my mind I decide to stay reasonable when I say, "I know I shouldn't have taken this long but I just had to figure how to word the things I want to tell you."
She sharply turns her head to look at me and I know that right now curiosity is going to kill the cat. I feel a smirk come across my face as I realize the effect I still have on her. I wonder if she knows that she can still make my heart beat skip beats just by looking at me.
"Really and what's that?" She asks me.
She intrigued as she waits for the words to slip out of my mouth. I can't help but feel cocky as I see her at the palm of my hands. It'd be so easy for me to take her away from Dallas, but I know that she'll regret it after being with me for a while. The life I lead will only tear us apart as the media would put rumors to keep the public enticed. After all, I was the one who let her go after we kissed on prom. Telling her that it was a rush of the moment instead of pouring my heart out.
I put a smirk on my face as I bring my face dangerously close to her and whisper in her ear, "I'll tell you. But first you need to dance with me."
Before I can let her answer, I drag her to her feet and put my hand in hers as my other arm goes around her waist naturally. It feels good to have her in my arms. It feels right. She doesn't know it but I just want one last dance like the night on prom, where she's still my Ally Dawson. Not Ally Cook.
After a few tense seconds, she relaxes in my embrace and soon rests her head on my shoulder. I'm not the kind of person who listens to Taylor Swift. I swear. But she's her favorite artist which gives me something to hold on to when I think about us. Absent minded I start to sing the song that I've gotten to know all so well thanks to someone.
"Cause darling, it was good never looking down. And right there where we stood was holy ground. Tonight I'm gonna dance for all that we've been through. But I don't wanna dance if I'm not dancing with you. Tonight I'm gonna dance like you were in this room. But I don't wanna dance if I'm not dancing with you."
I spin her one last time and when we finish I can tell by the look on her face that she's playing the game of what ifs, and what could of been. It's only naturally to think of something that could have happened and think of all the possibilities it could have lead you to. Especially when it feels like it could have been something beautiful, magical.
"We would have never lasted even if we had tried," I usher out as I see her struggling to listen, "Things are too different Ally. I live in the fast lane and you like taking things slow. I think it's for the best because at least we're still friends. We're just a nice memory of an endless love story because what doesn't begin can't end."
In a croaky voice she agrees with me. For a split second I feel like she really wants me the way I want her. But I know it's just the memories that make her think like that for now. I've seen to many photos of her and her fiancée to know that she's never looked at me like that.
"Ally I want to let you know that I'm happy for you. I really wish you the best and hope he treats you right. But most of all that I'll always be right here and I Love You."
Her eyes are shining and she's giving me one of her breath taking smiles. She pulls a strand of her hair behind before she tells me sweetly, "I love you too Austin."
Hearing those words from her is bittersweet. She does love me. She really does but she loves me the way she loves Dez. Not the way she loves Dallas. And the funny thing is that she misinterpreted my words. I do love her... More than a friend.
I can't handle it anymore. It's just too painful at the moment. Ushering my goodbye as fast as I can, I stuff my into my pocket and begin walking away. I keep moving as fast as I can until her voice disrupts my thoughts,
"Can I have one last kiss?" She says breathless as she runs to me.
I look at her quizzical as she stands in front of me. What is she asking me to do? Kiss her on the cheek? Kiss her on the lips? Did I hear her wrong?
After a few moments I realize that she waiting for an answer. With doubt in my voice I say yes and in a quick second my lips touches and leaves her cheek.
When I look at her again she is giving me a silly smile as she says, "I meant one of these."
Next thing I know her hands are pulling me down to a kiss and the moment I feel her lips on mine, I try to memorize the way how soft they lips feel against mine. I try to keep the memory of the way her arms are around my neck and the way she kisses me.
When she pulls away she says, "Goodnight Austin." I tell her goodnight too but something about the way we said it sounded more like goodbye.
I only have the memories
To remind me what we used to be.
I try to act like I don't care,
When I still wish you were here.
Cause...
After all we've been through,
Baby I, I still love you
After all this time, our memories still make me curse his name in the middle of the night. Time has gone by so fast. We've grown old, watched our own kids have kids of their own, been married and divorced.
I thought my heart would be devastated from the break up with Dallas but surprisingly, my heart's not breaking. It's only be a short time since we've made it official and yet I find myself at night cursing Austin's name instead of Dallas. Funny how your mind tells you that you don't care but your heart shows how much it really does matter.
I don't know how we slowly feel apart. We just did. His career and wife kept him busy while I had my own responsibilities with my family. Yet I can't help but wonder what he thinks about us now.
It's hard not to think about us, especially on a rainy day like today. Something about rainy days just make me want to make some hot chocolate and cuddle up near a window and look at the rain as I go through my memories.
I'm glad that Dallas and me broke up. We were never going to work. He just wasn't the one for me. We had different ideas and dreams. Things were bound to get ugly for us without him being jealous of Austin.
I take another sip of my hot chocolate when I see an all too familiar blonde running down the street towards my house. His hair is clinging on to his forehead as his cloths look like he's been running for al least a couple of minutes. Before I can comprehend all the things that are happening I hear a pounding coming from the door.
I'm confused as I go open it but I'm only left with more questions as I hear him say about a million things in thirty seconds.
"Austin talk slower. I can't understand a single thing your saying and come inside. Don't you know that you could get sick!" I begin a monologue of me scolding him of the dangers that could come from going outside in the rain but when I turn to look at him, he has the same childish smile on his face as he did when he was a teenager.
I feel scared as I see him like that but I don't get a chance to say something because all he does is to tell me that I look beautiful. Then he pulls me into a kiss that leaves me speechless.
Just promise me tonight,
One last dance before we say goodbye.
I don't mind if my heart is breaking.
Won't you just, hold me baby?
One last kiss, for you and me.
That's all I wish, before you leave.
Just promise me tonight,
One last dance before goodbye.
We have a raw love. The kind that was shown in the Notebook by Ally and Noah. The kind that lasts forever and after both of us saying I love you at the wrong time, I'm glad we finally got one right.
I'm glad that her last name has changed to Moon. I'm happy to call her mine and be able to pull her into a kiss out of nowhere. I'm glad I met her and fought for her til the end. It might have taken us a while but fate kept pulling us until we finally got it right.
As we sit on our front porch, swinging softly on the swing, I stand up spontaneously as I say in a cheesy British accent, "Madam, may you do me the honors by giving me this dance?"
She giggles at my foolishness but I'm just glad after all this time she still finds me funny and adorable. She puts her hand in mine and carefully I help her stand up. We take a while to get in our dancing position but we start swaying slowly.
We've done this so many times. It seems meaningless but every time it reminds me how much we've with stand. It reminds how we're invincible despite the fact that it took us a while to get on the same page. Almost as if we'll really be one of those couples that promise forever. I'm memorizing the way were dancing when her soft voice interrupts me with, "Can you sing me something?"
She has her eyes closed when I look down at her and I've never seen her so peaceful. Softly I start to sing the words to our favorite song.
" This is a state of grace. This is the worthwhile fight. Love is a ruthless game, Unless you play it good and right. These are the hands of fate. You're my Achilles heel. This is the golden age of something good and right and real."
This time when we finish, I give her the sweet, most passionate kiss we've ever shared. This simple kiss shows all the doubt, fear, anger. Every single fight we've had and overcame, all the happiness, all the love, every drop of hope and tears, and joy for our miracle happening.
When we pull back I stare into her prettiest brown eyes. She has white hair, wrinkles have formed from the years that have passed and of old age, to anybody else she seems like a normal grandma. But to me she's the love of my life. She's the most prettiest lady in the whole wide world and I'm glad that I get to have one last dance with her without having to say goodbye now.
