My head snapped up as I heard the door creak open and I saw her stumble through the door, and I observed as she used the wall to steady herself.
"Had fun?" I managed to get out, though not without a bitter tone laced with resentment.
"Loads." She looked down at herself, "Lost my shirt though."
I didn't really know what I was supposed to say, nor was I sure of what she wanted me to say. Or if she wanted me to say anything at all.
"Why don't you go on up to bed? I'll take the couch."
The way she eyed me made me nervous. Anytime she looked at me it made me nervous. She could always see through any façade I was trying to create, and she could always bust through it using nothing but her eyes.
"Nah, I think I'll sit with you for a while." She was playing with her hands. "I do miss you, ya know?" She peered up at me from under her eyelashes, and that's when I knew she'd always win, no matter what.
I couldn't formulate a response. I didn't know what to say, of course I missed her too, I'd given her four years of my life. But - unfortunately and still rather recently - that four years had come to a close, and I was miserable, but I knew she wouldn't ever say that she missed me whilst sober, or maybe she would, she always had a knack for surprising me. Finally, I found the courage to meet her eyes, and I soon found out that that was a huge mistake on my part.
Before I knew it, she was sitting right next to me, and I could feel her breath on my face.
"I love your cheeks." She murmured, reaching her hand up to caress the side of my face.
"Thanks." Was all I managed to get out. A mere squeak really.
"And your nose. And your lips." As she listed of the contours of my face, her hands traced the mentioned area in ghost-like, feathery touches.
"And your eyes. You have nice eyes."
I caught my breath. "You're doing it again."
A look of confusion crossed her face. "Doing what?"
"Making me love you." My voice shook with emotion.
"I didn't kiss anyone today!" She sounded almost proud, and the cheeriness of her tone was strange because of the intense statement I'd just made. Obviously the alcohol was still affecting her.
"Did you kiss anyone today?" She inquired.
"No, not today."
"That's sad. Someone should be kissing you every day, you're nice."
"I don't think it's a matter of being nice."
"You're mad at me." Her statement wasn't true. I wasn't mad at her; I was merely shocked at how she was speaking. I knew she was intoxicated, but she'd never been so open and honest before.
"You can't be mad at me. I love you and you love me, so you can't be mad. It doesn't make sense and it's against the rules."
"Maybe you should go to bed. In fact, why don't you go and cuddle up with Kenzi? She wouldn't mind, she's your best friend."
"I don't want her. I want you!" She half yelled the last part, completely taking me by surprise.
"I want you to hold me because your hands and warm and soft." She looked so childish in that moment with a slight pout on her face and her brown eyes watered due to frustration.
"You look mad." She finally said after a moment of silence. "Why're you mad?"
"I'm not mad."
"Then what are you?"
"Sad, I guess."
"Sad? I make you said?"
"Sometimes." As I replied she looked as if she was going to cry. I didn't want to hurt her, I didn't want to make her feel guilty. But I also didn't want to lie. She doesn't deserve to be lied to, and I don't like lying.
"Don't be sad. You're too beautiful to be sad. You look like an angel." She took a moment to ponder that, "Are you an angel? Do you have wings? Where are your wings?" She looked upset that I didn't appear to be equipped with the feathery wings associated with angels.
"Why would I have wings?"
"Are they gone because of him? Did he take your wings and cut them off, and bury them under a rock, so now you're stuck here and you can't get back to heaven?"
I couldn't help but smile a bit at the awe-stricken look written upon her face.
"Let's not talk about him, love. Not tonight."
"You're an angel", She decided, "You're my angel." She seemed to ponder another thought. "Can angels love bad people? Because I'm not good."
"I would say that angels can love anyone they want. But I'm no angel."
"Do you want to love me then?" I couldn't answer that question. Not because I didn't want to love her, but because I didn't know if I should want to love her. But the answer was clear.
"You need to go to bed." Was all that I could muster up. I watched her as she got up and made her way to the stairs while tears filled my eyes. She caught my gaze as she looked over her shoulder.
"Don't cry my angel; I'll fix you so that you can fly again."
