I want to create a story that's worth reading. A story that's worth your time. worth your smile. worth your laugh. I want to be able to give you strength through my words. but how? I don't know what to say..
FAIL ATTEMPT V1 ;; Ice to Fire.
they say you shouldn't take some things to heart. that at times, you should learn how to laugh it off. when it drags you down, you have to remember to be strong. because if you don't, you won't get out alive. when you're hurting anfd nothing's right, you can choose to stay or let go. if you stay, you make things worth it. if you leave, you hurt yourself. and worse, you drag others into your own mess. but in my case, no matter how hard I try, I'm bound to end up getting hurt. because I was never meant to love. Hi, my name is Misa Alexandria, and this is my sick love story.
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ch1.
I'm in love with someone who's as cold as steel. It's harder than I imagined, and things don't work out the way they should.
let's start from the beginning, the part that's easier.
February 4 2011 I looked infront of the mirror and sighed. brown hair, black eyes, frowning lips. I am nothing more than a plain Jane. I was always the insecure girl, because the truth was, I see nothing good in myself. and my bestfriend was the complete opposite. she was the image of perfection, and believe it or not, I lived under her shadow. about five minutes passed before I stopped being sorry for myself and decided to get ready for school.
I was getting tired of this stupid pattern. same things, same crap, different day. It never gets better.
7:00 AM - Sky academy
I stood infront of my locker and waited for Allie, my bestfriend. this was our usual routine. but today, something changed. and it took everything along with it. the change disrupted my life's carefully balanced ways, and it toppled down before I got the chance to put it back together. Allie walked towards me, but someone was behind her. cold, dark, eyes. unruly hair. pale skin. black leather jacket. a cold guy, no doubt.
"hey, this is my dance partner." my bestfriend said, introducing the two of us to each other. he nodded. oh, okay. i'm invisible. as expected. he didn't even look at me. what a jerk. I didn't say anything and proceeded to get my things put of my locker. Allie looked at me, expecting a reply.
I don't like being overshadowed. she should know that. "i'll see you at practice." the cold guy said to my bestfriend. surprised by the sudden friendly tone, I looked up and saw the expression he had as he looked at Allie. I almost laughed. hah, this guy should build more walls if he's planning to play the cold guy shoulder on me. He was, no doubt,
inlove with my bestfriend. It wasn't so hard to miss. I added another person to my endless mental list of my bestfriend's admirers as I watched him walk away.
'Hey, what's up?" Allie asked, hands on her hips, eyebrows arched.
"what? surely you don't expect me to be friends with that jerk?" I replied. what is she scheming? there's something else, obviously.
"won't you atleast be nice? he's my dance partner, so you'll see more of him from now on. he might even hang out with us sometimes." Allie said as we walked towards our classroom.
"what? Allie! why are you doing this to me? that guy isn't going to be nice to anyone. except for you, maybe." I groaned.
"huh? me? what makes me so special? come on." Allie denied as she placed her bag on her chair and I sat next to her.
"seriously? you're so dense, Al! that guy's-" and I suddenly stopped speaking. I figured, it was none of my business, and if he wanted to tell Allie himself, then I shouldn't spoil the fun for him. hmm, this is going to be interesting...
"he's what, Misa?" Allie pried.
"uhm, your dance partner. of course that's gonna earn you advantages." I lied. man, I should really be more careful.
"that's not enough to make me special for -"
"Good Morning, class. Ms. Allie McBryan, care to share your thoughts to the class?" Our homeroom teacher, Mr. Evans, said as he walked in. whew. saved.
Allie shook her head and blushed while the whole class giggled. but there was a difference with the way they smiled. they were happy, amused. not actually making fun of her. That was the difference. with Allie , the whole class laughed with her, not at her. people liked her. I bet every guy in the room is actually thinking about how cute she was when she blushed. sometimes I really wonder how I landed myself in this position, as her bestfriend. It was rare. popular kid paired with a Plain Jane? you don't get to see that everyday.
a few minutes passed and class started. I found myself losing focus on the lesson. my thoughts kept coming back to the cold guy I just met, and it wasn't amusing.
there was something in him that sparked my interest. maybe because it was challenging to try and break someone who's built so many walls around himself that you can barely see his true feelings. or maybe it was the way he looked good in his leather jacket. or the fact that he was in love with my bestfriend even though he didn't seem capable of loving someone. There's something about him... I was still thinking about him subconsciously when the bell rung, signaling that it was time for Recess.
I grabbed my stuff and headed out. Allie would be heading to cheer practice, for sure. so I headed to the roof top where I could see the sky, and where I could write with ease. usual routine. can my life get any boring? seriously. I went up the stairs, my head full of dragging thoughts about myself and my useless insecurities. I took the last step and breathed in the calming breeze. this is the only place where I can be myself and feel comfortable. I looked up and saw that the clouds were forming something beautiful,
something surreal. I grabbed my polaroid camera from my bag and took a couple of shots. this could be useful someday...
I placed the photos inside my notebook and tried to write, but I was getting nowhere. I was stuck. And I didn't know why. I have never had-
"writer's block?" someone asked from behind me. I turned around, shocked. and there he was. the idiot from this morning who kept me from my class. I rolled my eyes and closed my notebook.
"oh please. what's it to you?" I retorted.
He shrugged, as if I didn't say something. and then he sat down next to my feet and patted the spot next to him. oh great, this morning he shut me out and now he wants us to be seated next to each other? you have got to be kidding me. this guy had a motive of some sort, and i need to find out before I fall for something idiotic. as if I need more bullshit in my life.
I figured I'd play along. BUT just this once. I sat down next to him and looked at his face. hm, his eyes still had the same cold expression. he wasn't here because he wanted to talk to me,
no doubt. he wasn't here for me. no one ever was. "what's with your bestfriend?" he asked. his tone made it clear that he was reluctant to speak to me. "what about her?" I doubled up the harshness in my tone, just to make it clear that I didn't want to speak to him too. or did I?
"she's... acting weird." He whispered, confused.
ah. by acting weird he meant she was showing him misleading signs. I sighed. my bestfriend was always like this. too friendly, too sweet, too caring. maybe that was her flaw. she breaks hearts subconsciously when the truth was, she's just being nice. "Allie is... just too nice. don't get the wrong impression. most of the time she's confused about her feelings, so sometimes boys have to do something painful before she realizes how much they mean to her." I said, trying my best to explain my bestfriends attitude to him.
"like what?" he said, looking at me with extreme cold eyes.
"like.. maybe going out with someone who's close to her while you're courting her. you know, third party. don't show her that you're too serious about her..." I said absentmindedly. I didn't really care about the consequences of my words, I just wanted the conversation to end. "you think I should... go out with you?" He said slowly. "WHAT!" I said, recoiling. what he said brought me to my senses. no way. "look.. I know it sounds silly, and we barely know each other, but will you help me? this is the first time i've ever seen someone like her... she's so kind and pretty and smart and absolutely great at dancing. plus she's not like all the other girls on the cheer team who care about nothing except make up, boys, and looking good." he said seriously. for a moment, I saw his soft side.
no walls and barriers. extremely open. Looks like he really did love my bestfriend. impressive, but I wasn't going to let myself be used.
"dude, I know what's it like to want someone so much that you can barely set your heart free because they're all you care about and think about even though it hurts, but I don't want to be a part of a scheme that's only going to hurt people if it backfired. especially if it involves my best friend. I don't want her to get hurt because of something I planned." I said carefully. this wasnt a fair bargain "okay, here. what if I land you a job at my father's company? i'm working there, and he's still looking for someone. Allie isn't interested in photography, but I know you are. It's an all expenses paid trip to Paris, Tokyo, London and New York. the job will take place in all four cities. we'll model and we'll also photgraph. so what do you think? you help me get the girl, and I help you reach for your dream. All I'm asking for is a chance to try. Allie won't get hurt, I swear. Even if this plan fails and I don't get the girl, it's okay. as long as I know I tried my best. please? just this once." he pried and pried.
I was dumbfounded. ALL EXPENSES PAID TRIP? PHOTOGRAPHY? MODELLING? I had to take this chance. I don't care if I regret it. all my life I lived under Allie's shadow. I deserve to be happy, even if it meant lying to her.
she owed me that much. I was still thinking of what to say when the bell rung, so I quickly said a reply.
"It's a deal, then. but won't you atleast tell me your name?" I replied coolly. If i was going to pretend to be going out with him, I figured I should atleast find out about his basic info.
"YES!" he yelled triumhantly. "My name's Alex." he said as he went down the stairs hurriedly, smiling like a fool.
