Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me. If it did, both Sasuke and Naruto would have been given a guardian as children. Even a ninja village should look out for its own kids.
()
A stream runs through the outskirts of Konoha, deep enough for swimming but not so profound as to prove dangerous. At several points along its length bridges have been built to allow easy crossing for those not skilled in chakra control. Docks extend into the waters, providing excellent jumping boards for little ones eager for cannon-balling. During the day, old men sit shaded beneath straw hats, casting fishing lines into the running water; while kids freshly released from their chores or classes explore the deep banks and water's edge for treasure.
During the night, the waters glisten mystically beneath the watchful gaze of the stars and moon. Life on its shores comes to a halt as families close their doors and prepare for sleep.
When the grassy slopes leading down to the water are uninhabited but for chirping crickets, and the water's rushing is clearly heard in the quiet of the night; that is when the stream becomes his special place.
Silent and respectful of the night, Sasuke emerges like clockwork through the dark- guided by starlight- to a special patch of grass beside the dock his family used to visit together. Every night is the same; if he is in the village and not training with his new team, he visits this place.
As a young kid he would claim the dock during the day, skimming his little toes over the surface of the water, wishing for company, for his family. His hope had been that someone- an adult or friendly kid- would join him. It had never happened though, and he spent his youth before the academy in lonely isolation. The stream became his new home, the only friend that was constant in his life.
Growing older, he had abandoned the dock. People, he had come to believe, were too focused on the meaningless aspects of life: gossip, having money, getting a boyfriend or girlfriend and being popular. Those things didn't matter to him. His life had already been set for him by his brother. Everyday worries like those were the least of his problems- they only held him back from what he had come to acknowledge as his true destiny. He was an avenger, made for greater things and above the frivolous concerns of his peers.
And so, he had stopped visiting the stream during the day.
The night had become his instead. It was quiet, still, and empty. He could think in peace, planning his revenge and reflecting on the clan he had lost too early in life. The grassy slope beside the dock had become his new place to stretch out on, where he could see the water streaming by beyond his toes and the vast emptiness of the glittering sky above.
While the rest of the village slept, this place became his domain.
So when his peace was interrupted one night, Sasuke was not pleased.
"What are you doing?"
The loud and obnoxious voice of his teammate blasted through his subconscious like a bullhorn. He had heard the loud footsteps approaching and recognized Naruto's chakra signature, but he had hoped- prayed even- that the blonde mischief-maker would pass by. He had been wrong.
Sighing through his nose, Sasuke kept his eyes locked on the night sky passing over the silver stream. "Does it look like I'm doing anything, dobe?"
Naruto huffed, and Sasuke could imagine the boy crossing his arms over his absurdly orange jacket, a pout surely on his face.
"Che, bastard. Don't have to be so rude. I was just asking."
"You've asked. I answered. Now go away."
He could hear his teammate growling and cursing under his breath. "Stupid ass Uchiha."
"Dimwit dead last."
"I don't know why I even bothered stopping to talk you, Uchiha. You're such a prick."
"Not my fault you don't know how to take a hint. Shall I spell it out for you, moron? Your company is not wanted."
"Whatever. Like I'd bother hanging around with a jerk like you."
A few rocks went skittering down the grassy bank as Naruto kicked at the dirt from the road overhead before turning and shuffling away into the night. Not at all bothered by the confrontation, Sasuke allowed his eyes to close, retreating back into the peace the moon and softly streaming water offered him.
()
The next night Naruto was back, though this time he merely stopped and hovered on the bank's edge, not breaking the silence.
It was even more annoying to Sasuke than when the blonde had loudly interrupted before.
He tried to ignore the intruding presence, but just knowing his teammate was standing above him was enough to throw off his mental balance. When the blonde stayed silent, Sasuke growled and opened his eyes, pushing his head back further against the grass to throw a scathing look at his upside-down intruder.
"What do you want, Naruto?"
"Can I join you?"
He hadn't been expecting that reply, but quickly recovered from his shock. "No."
Immediately, Naruto "humphed" and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket. The sight would have been amusing had Sasuke not been so annoyed by now.
Instead of arguing, though, the blonde ninja simply turned and trudged away, kicking at rocks as he went.
Returning his gaze to the stream, Sasuke couldn't help but wonder about the odd turn-around from the night before. Who could ever have guessed that Uzumaki would be asking to spend time with him? They were known rivals, infamous for constantly squabbling and ramming heads. On team missions and training exercises they could hardly get through an hour without spitting insults at each other. It wasn't like it was his fault though: Sasuke was just superior to the other.
Frowning, Sasuke shook his head. The blonde wannabe-ninja wasn't worth wasting his time over. There were other things more important for him to spend his peaceful night contemplating: a certain rogue ninja with spinning red eyes foremost above the others.
()
Each night that passed heralded a fresh intrusion from his persistently annoying teammate.
"Go away, Naruto."
And a firmly repeated rejection for company by Sasuke.
"Why can't I stay, huh Sasuke?"
"Because I'm thinking. Go bother someone else."
He couldn't understand why Naruto was suddenly taking an interest in sharing this patch of the stream. There were other isolated patches all along the streams length, so if he wanted to sit by the water, why couldn't he just go somewhere else and not bother Sasuke in his own special place? It made no sense to him. No one bothered him here- no one had ever even tried to since the time when he was little and occupied the dock in the bright and busy light of day.
"I'm not gonna bother you, asshole. I just want to sit with you."
"Your very existence annoys me, you imbecile."
Each night followed the same pattern. It got to the point that Sasuke could hardly think without hearing the blonde's whining voice begging to join him on the bank, breaking through the silence of the stars drifting overhead. He really, really did not want to share his special place with his obnoxious teammate. This was the one place he had claimed as his own; where he could think peacefully and reflect, organizing his plan for vengeance. But Naruto- in his usual, annoying, lets-do-it-my-way manner- had ruined it with his continued interruptions.
After a while, it just wasn't worth it to kick the dobe out anymore- doing so took too much energy, wasted his time and destroyed the peace he sought by coming to his special place.
So one evening when he felt Naruto standing over him, he didn't say a word. He just continued to breathe in the night air and listen to the crickets chirping pleasantly around him, eyes closed in content.
"Aren't you going to kick me out?" Naruto's voice sounded hesitant, surprised at the silent greeting.
"Is there really any point in me doing so?"
Naruto didn't answer; and although he hadn't opened his eyes, Sasuke nevertheless knew that a grin had sprouted on his loud teammates face. The grass shifted under silent, sandaled feet as Naruto moved down the bank's slope to lie on his back beside Sasuke. Neither said a word.
As Naruto shifted on the grass beside him, Sasuke tried to return his thoughts back to his brooding, but a feeling of slight discomfort had overtaken him. He had never shared this place with someone else before, so to have another body next to him- especially the village loser- was bizarre. This place was special, holy; offering a refuge where he could think in peace about everything that had gone wrong in his life. The silent stars above never mocked him for his thoughts; but now, with someone else sharing in the revealing quiet, Sasuke was overwhelmed by the feeling that the comforting stars and stream would expose everything.
Determined not to let Naruto ruin his reminiscing, he attempted to think about his revenge; but as hard as he tried he couldn't picture Itachi walking toward him with blood on his katana, his parents' bodies on the floor. He was constantly thinking about the day he would finally kill his brother, but in the silence, with another person so close- the familiar picture of betrayal seemed distant.
Unnerved by the inability to settle back into his normal routine, he fished instead for memories of his childhood, intent on brooding on his loss: his family smiling as they sat at the table eating dinner or on the dock during a rare moment of reprieve from shinobi duties. Struggling to find those images, Sasuke was frustrated to find that the memories he motivated himself with were refusing to be brought clearly to the forefront of his mind: He couldn't visualize them.
Never had he been unable to summon thoughts of his past for broody reflection. He could always wander the darker corners of his mind when he came here in the solitude of the night; the only difference was that tonight he was sharing his reflecting space with another person. Why should the blonde's presence hinder him though? He had no problems thinking about his revenge during the light of day with his team; and even on overnight missions, where he would inevitably lie awake thinking about his dark past while Naruto snored beside him and Sakura curled as close to him as she could while pretending it was only to keep warm.
And yet Naruto's presence on the bank tonight had completely cut off his ability to think of his family and driving motivation. It was slightly unsettling.
Angry now and regretting his decision to give in and allow the idiot to join him, Sasuke opened his eyes and turned to regard the blond still lying quietly beside him, intending to demand that the dobe leave.
The look on Naruto's face halted him. Normally so cheerful and annoying, the boy seemed somber now; blue eyes were closed, brow furrowed as though he was struggling to find clarity in a mental picture.
The words Sasuke wanted to say died on his lips.
He didn't know how long they stayed on the bank of the stream that night. They had training in the morning with Sakura and Kakashi, so Sasuke knew he couldn't stay out all night long. When the moon began to dip back behind the trees, he stretched, lifting his chin one last time to observe the stars before sitting up.
At his movement, Naruto didn't even flinch; just continued to gaze upward at the night sky with blue eyes that were now open.
Sasuke contemplated briefly about nudging him and reminding the dobe that they had training in the morning, but stopped himself: the blonde seemed to be searching now, seeking answers in the map of stars high above, much the same as he himself had done when first he claimed the stream's bank.
So, he decided to leave the idiot alone. He simply stood, dusted off his shorts, shook his head to pop his flattened hair back into shape, and trudged back up the bank to the road.
The next morning, Sakura and Naruto were already waiting at the bridge. Upon his arrival, Sakura rushed to his side while Naruto shot him a look and bragged loudly that he'd beaten him to the meeting place. No mention of what had happened the night before; simply that cheerfully annoying grin on his round face.
Not that it really mattered either way to Sasuke. So long as the idiot didn't hold him back on missions by oversleeping, he didn't care what the blond did. He was on this team to get stronger, and if the only way to do so was to put up with Naruto and his odd mannerisms, then so be it.
()
It was a simple routine they had somehow fallen into. Either he was there or he wasn't.
During the day they never spoke about their meetings on the bank of the stream. Naruto was his normally loud, idiotic self, and Sasuke continued to ignore him, except when the idiot demanded to be shot down in some form or another. Yet come night, when that curtain of inky black fell over Konoha with a blanket of glittering stars, their relationship came to a truce, just for a moment.
Sasuke would lie on his back in the glistening tear-drop grass, and more often than not, an hour or two after he settled down the blonde would come trundling down the road, slip carefully down the slope of the bank and take the spot he had practically hounded Sasuke for. Those nights that he showed up, Naruto was never there before him. It was as if the hyperactive boy acknowledged the fact that Sasuke had claimed the place as his own, and the only way for him to respect that was by letting Sasuke have some time alone there.
And once both boys were nestled into the grass, they were quiet; a quality of their meetings that hadn't abated since the first night they spent together under the stars. As they lay on their backs, the night would pass over them in collective silence, soothed with the gentle rushing of the streams flow and the chirping of crickets hidden along the bank.
And in the silence of the stars and lazily drifting stream, Sasuke discovered he had somehow managed to find a new type of peace in the company of his teammate.
()
"Sasuke?"
The unspoken rule of silence kept between them on the bank of the stream was finally broken one night. It'd been a few weeks now since Naruto had started sharing his special place with him; and Sasuke had known that eventually the quiet between them would be breached. For a moment he contemplated not answering the blonde's softly spoken query, but if he didn't want the dobe to start pestering him, he'd be better off giving a reply immediately.
"What?"
Silence. Sasuke felt his eyebrow twitch.
"Dobe, if you're going to say my name, you're supposed to follow it up with some sort of comment. Moron."
"Hey, shut up, you bastard. I was just trying to collect my thoughts so I didn't sound stupid."
"You already sound stupid."
"Shut up, I do not."
"Hn."
Naruto didn't reply and Sasuke felt a small smudge of victory. It was nice to know that even if they had fallen into an abnormal routine together he could still mess with the blonde.
After a moment, Naruto's voice hesitantly continued, raising the question he'd been holding back.
"Do you… think it's possible for guys like us to have a family?"
Of all the things he'd expected his teammate to come out with, that question hadn't been on the list.
For a moment, he wasn't sure how to reply. Naruto had seemed tentative, unsure of himself; it was a red flag waving in Sasuke's eyes. Choosing to ignore what the question implied, he opted to deflect.
"Why am I in the same classification as you, dobe?"
Naruto snorted. "Because you're kind of a douche to people, in case you haven't noticed."
Sasuke frowned. "And that makes us the same?"
"Hell no, I'm way nicer than you are."
This conversation was going nowhere.
"So why are you implying that it might be difficult for 'guys like us' to have a family?"
When Naruto didn't reply right away, Sasuke felt his irritation grow. Really, did the blonde walking disaster do this just to annoy him?
"We're both outcasts, Sasuke."
He froze at the softly spoken words.
"You seem popular, but you push people away. It's like you don't want to let anyone in, don't want anyone to truly care about you; or don't want to care for anyone in return."
To hear it all being said so bluntly, Sasuke could feel his stomach curling. He wasn't like that at all. Sure, he didn't like people latching onto his arm and squealing in his ear, and he couldn't stand being around people who were weak and worthless, but he didn't push everyone away. There was simply no one worthy of his time; he had other things to do.
"The village pretty much shuns me. As much as I try, I can't get anyone to give me a chance. You and I, we don't have anyone to turn to. No family. No friends."
Sasuke's eyes narrowed. Naruto needed to shut up.
"My clan was taken from me, Naruto." His voice was hard. "There's no question for me to answer: I am going to rebuild my clan, one way or another. Nothing else matters to me."
"But how are you going to do that if you're such a jerk to people?"
"I'm an Uchiha. I always get what I want."
"Do you, Sasuke?"
"Why are you even asking about this?"
Again his companion was silent, and Sasuke felt an urge to strangle the boy. What was wrong with Naruto for him to ask such a question, only to jerk him around and insult his Uchiha pride?
"I'm going to be Hokage someday." The abrupt change in topic had Sasuke feeling on edge. Sure, everyone in the village knew about Naruto's absurd ambition, though no one put any merit into the claim. Sasuke himself doubted that it would ever come true, but the tone of his teammate's voice breaking through the stillness of the night stopped him from scoffing: Naruto's voice was soft but it rang with certainty. "It's my goal in life, the only way I can ever amount to something and force the village to recognize my strength."
"But more than that," Naruto continued strongly, "more than being the Hokage- my true dream is to have a family, to have people who love me, who will smile genuinely when I come into the room, who care about my feelings and my opinions- not just because I'm an important person, but because they care about the real me; the me who isn't so tough sometimes.
"I've never had a family before but I have a feeling that it must be something really great; to know that you belong somewhere."
Swallowing down the flare of emotion that had risen as a fleeting image of the family he had once had flashed through his mind, Sasuke forced himself to remain still and quiet.
"Do you want kids someday, Sasuke?" Curiosity had put a lilt to the blonde's voice. "That's probably a stupid question considering you want to rebuild your clan; but do you really want them?"
Sasuke didn't answer. He was finding it a bit more difficult to breathe for some reason. Forcing himself to calm down, he tried to picture himself holding a crying baby in his arms- and couldn't do it. Why couldn't he picture himself with a wife and little Uchiha's running circles around him on unsteady legs? He had never questioned what he had known all his life he would do; had never tried to picture it before. The only thing he could focus on was Itachi and getting past that hurdle first. So if he knew that he was going to have a family of his own someday, why in the world couldn't he picture it? Why did it seem… blank when he tried to imagine the future beyond his vengeance?
"I want lots of kids when I'm older," Naruto continued softly, filling in for Sasuke's silence. "Definitely a boy first so I can impress him with how cool of a ninja I am, and teach him how to throw a kunai and do shadow clones. And we'll pull pranks on his mom just for kicks; not big ones like I used to pull, just little things to make her laugh. I want my family to laugh a lot. And of course, I really want a girl too. I think it'd be fun to have a daughter and be all protective of her. If she could be like Sakura I'd be really happy. I want a daughter who will grow up to be a kickass ninja; a girl who's super strong, who will make the village proud."
His voice was practically smiling. It made Sasuke feel sick.
"A person who will love me for who I am and a family of my own blood: That's the ultimate dream for me. I can see it so clearly in my head." He paused, and Sasuke couldn't help but wish that he wouldn't say any more. "Part of me is scared that it will never come true. I can't even get Sakura to notice me, and I've tried all my best moves. I know I'm not strong enough yet, that I have to keep improving if I ever want to make my dreams come true, but what if- no matter how hard I try- they never do? What if no one is ever able to see past what I've been labeled as?"
The urge to say something derisive was pressing on him, but Sasuke found that the sassy remark on the tip of his tongue wouldn't form into words. Never would he have ever imagined they'd be in this situation, with Naruto opening up and sharing secrets that Sasuke really, really wished he wouldn't share. During the day they were rude to each other, fighting and bickering like children; Naruto never shared anything more personal than a warning that he was about to let loose a stinky. But here- that blonde idiot had shown him a different side. Here, for the most part, they were silent; and in the silence, they were honest with each other. And tonight, that honesty had extended into words that he didn't want to hear.
On his own he could contain his reflections to a specific area- but Naruto had managed to force him into looking beyond what he wanted to see.
It had to be this place that induced honest reflection; this perfect, holy place by the stream that was watched by the stars.
Whether he could handle the feelings such introspection generated was another matter entirely. Sasuke closed his eyes, blocking out the lights that shone knowingly overhead, and stayed silent.
For a moment, Naruto respected his decision to remain quiet. The stream gently rushing by seemed to be urging him to speak though. Sasuke knew the blonde wasn't finished; that he would bring up the topic that Sasuke really wished he wouldn't.
"What are you going to do after you kill your brother?"
There it was: The question he knew the answer to in his head but could never quite reach. The question he had pushed aside until the day he was finally able to breathe easily, when his burden was lifted. But that day he reached for, aspired for- he couldn't even begin to imagine what would come after it. Perhaps there was a reason his thoughts in this place stayed restricted to the corner of his mind devoted to his beloved rage and despair.
Sasuke opened his eyes and looked to the stars. The world seemed endless up there.
While down here, no matter how far he traveled with his team, he still was stuck in the same place. He realized what had happened now: Naruto's words describing the life he dreamed of had made it all too evident. His revenge had coiled its poisonous way around him, tying him down and putting him in a rut until he became strong enough to overcome it. Killing his brother was his one goal in life; so where would that leave him once he had accomplished it? He knew he would rebuild his clan- there had never once been a doubt in his mind about the fact- but, like Naruto had asked him, in a tone of voice that implied such a thing might just be impossible- would he ever truly be able to have a family again? Was he even capable of loving someone after living so long driven by his hate? He couldn't even picture it in his mind, and that in itself was enough to make him uneasy.
Naruto, whose eyes were also open, did not press him as they both contemplated the stars. He seemed to know what was troubling Sasuke- and the notion that he did was infuriating.
"I think you're scared, Sasuke."
The blonde's soft words felt like bricks falling on his chest. Sasuke didn't move, couldn't hear anything but the accusation coming from the boy he had deemed as a loser. Those words analyzed him, mocked him with the truth he could hear ringing behind them.
"You're just like me. You've been hurt, shoved in a corner of the village and expected to be okay, when it's not as easy as everyone makes it out to be. Instead of being thankful for a second chance though, for a life and having such great people suddenly come into your life, I think you're clinging to the past you say you want so much to rise above. I think you're so wrapped up in everything that's gone wrong that you don't want someone to come along and make it all better. You want to be free of it all, but you're too scared to let go; because without your anger, without Itachi, you wouldn't have anything left."
For a moment, silence reigned on the bank again. Then, dark eyes blinked slowly closed as Sasuke sat up; opened again to regard the grass under his palms.
For the first time, Sasuke left his special spot before the moon had completely risen over the water.
()
To say he was pissed was an understatement. Sasuke was livid, furious that Naruto had managed to get under his skin. He had spent the greater part of the rest of his night pacing the main house of the Uchiha compound- throwing kunai at the wall he'd posted a picture of his brother's face on, practicing his taijutsu in the large open living area- and then the rest until early morning scrubbing the entire place clean. On his hands and knees, he had cursed the blonde to hell and back. And when he sat aching with fingers like prunes, leaning against the sliding door looking out into the courtyard where a new sun was slowly rising, he had come to realize that his life was just as empty as the large compound he alone inhabited.
Worse was the knowledge that in a single night the loser whom he had categorized as a complete failure in every way had managed to see through his icy armor and analyze his weakness.
With sunshine streaming into the house, he had been tempted to miss the training their Jounin had scheduled for the day. Dark mocking eyes embedded with kunai had sneered at him from the wall, though; belittling him for being weak, showing cowardice. So, with a few minutes to spare, Sasuke had cleaned himself up, changed into fresh clothes, and made his way to the meeting place on the bridge.
Once Kakashi gave their assignment, he wished that he had ignored the whispered words of his brother in his head and stayed home. They'd been given a mission- a stupid D-rank mission to fix up and clean out an old barn for some elderly couple living outside the village walls.
The work was tiring. Sakura squealed and latched onto him every time a mouse ran across the floor and Naruto- the stupid loudmouth who didn't know how to shut up- complained the whole time that there were evil ninja to be defeated and higher ranked missions that they could be doing instead. Kakashi merely ignored the noise below him as he lounged in the rafters reading his vibrant signature novel.
Irritated and exhausted, Sasuke worked silently; struggling to block out the commotion from his companions. He wanted to finish the pointless waste-of-a-mission and go home to brood. Better yet, he wanted to expend his annoyance in a full on fight with his blond teammate, who had shown up to the bridge that morning with a grin on his face, despite what had happened on the bank of the stream the previous night.
Watching him grin so dumbly - forcing cheerfulness- had filled Sasuke with a fresh surge of rage and hatred. Who was this kid; that he could see his future so clearly, so promising and happy, when his past was filled with nothing but abuse? Why should he be so confident when it was Sasuke- the one who was truly strong, who would avenge his past and prove to the world that he was not a weak little kid- who was struggling?
Uchiha's didn't struggle. They didn't come second to anyone. Naruto was a fool, a stupid fool who was fishing in the dark when it came to Sasuke and his motivation. The future would be his to claim- he would show that stupidly grinning imbecile and rub it in his face some day. Naruto was wrong. Wrong! He would avenge and rebuild his clan; he would have a family again.
All morning he had resolutely ignored the other boy: No sarcastic comments, not even an acknowledgment of Naruto's existence. An itching in his bones had him on edge though- and Sasuke knew that it was only a matter of time before he snapped. The sideways glances from the blonde in between rants let him know that Naruto could feel it too- and that he was readying himself for the fight that was coming.
"Whoops."
Harsh echoing slaps of wood beams striking the floor behind Sasuke's back had his whole body stiffening. For the last twenty minutes he had been stacking the extra wood from fixing the loft into a neat pile- he did not want to turn around and see that all his hard work had been knocked to the ground.
"Sorry about that, Sasuke, I didn't see them-"
"Naruto."
Turning, Sasuke surveyed the mess scattered on the floor of the barn. His tower was gone. Naruto was smiling, one hand brushing the back of his head as he pleaded forgiveness with his grin. It had the opposite effect.
"Don't you have eyes, moron?" Normally that single comment would be satisfying enough, because Naruto would protest and Sasuke would smirk before delivering one more clever remark that would have the blonde spluttering in amusing indignation. This time, however, Sasuke felt his anger bubble to the surface as the words left his lips. Instead of waiting, he lashed out again.
"Or what, do you close them when you walk around? If you can't even keep an eye on your own feet how do you suppose you're going to become Hokage and watch out for the whole village, you imbecile?"
"What the hell is your problem, bastard? I said I was sorry. It was an accident."
"My problem is that you're such a moronic loser you can't even walk a straight line without bumping into something as conspicuous as a woodpile. How am I supposed to get stronger with you as a teammate? You're a disgrace to the ninja community; an eyesore, a weakling. We never should have been put on the same team. I can't stand it! You're only dragging me down."
"Shut up, Sasuke. You think you're so high and mighty, don't you? You're not as much of a badass as you make yourself out to be. You're just a scared little emo boy who can't face himself in the mirror and let go of his past."
"So says the village outcast." Naruto's face turned dark and Sasuke felt vindictive triumph surge through him. "Who's going to ever want to be with a clumsy, stupid, knock-off ninja with no skill; who can't even recognize that he's a burden and that no one wants him around?"
"Sasuke." Naruto's voice was trembling, low and rippling with fury… and something else. The sound of it brought him back to the bank of the stream, where that same voice had spoken with such insecurity. "Shut up, or I swear I'll make you shut up."
"You couldn't do anything even if I stood here while you charged." There was a storm building behind his eyes; he could hear it rumbling in his ears, pressing at his eyeballs and making him want to scream. "What's the matter? Truth hurt? Who are you going to go crying to? Huh, loser? You're all alone, remember?"
The words wouldn't stop coming. He wanted to expose Naruto, to make him hurt. To make him feel the pain he'd been living with, struggling to oppress; until that blonde idiot had torn it all open under an accusing, silent night sky. "No one wants you. No one even needs you." Why did it hurt to breathe?
Sakura stepped forward, lifting her hands uneasily. "Hey, you guys, calm down-"
"Say that again, jackass," Naruto growled, warning clear in his tone.
Sasuke shrugged. "No one wants you, loser; and no one ever will."
Letting out a cry of rage, Naruto lunged, grabbing hold of Sasuke's collar and attempting to flip him onto the ground. Sasuke leaned back and twisted, causing Naruto's fingers to slip and his hold give way. As Naruto's momentum brought him forward, Sasuke ducked and pushed back, bringing his fists into the blonde's stomach. Naruto went stumbling sideways. Wincing, blue eyes lifted to dark: near mirror images in their anger.
Roaring, Naruto flung himself forward, punching and kicking while Sasuke deflected and struck back. Sakura was screaming at them in the background to stop, but the boys ignored her, too intent on being the one to rip the other's head off. Their fists had become their voices. He could feel it: Naruto's anger and sorrow, his regret at sharing in the prompting silence of the streams shore. A new understanding was passing between them, though; one that was chilling him more than words ever could.
Because nothing showed the truth more than an honest fight to the death between two incensed, wounded ninja.
"Okay, okay, that's enough."
Gloved hands caught hold of swinging fists. Sasuke ripped his arm from the masked Jounin's grip and retreated out of reach. The look Naruto threw him as Kakashi pulled him away caught Sasuke and held him fast. That look exposed him; his shame and fear and agony. He couldn't look away, could only stare back into blue eyes filled with hurt and anger and a look of such knowing that, for the first time in his life, he wanted to sink into the ground and disappear.
That night, after they returned to the village, Sasuke made his way down to his place at the stream.
The moon had risen and begun to wane, and still Naruto did not show.
In the dark, Sasuke replayed the fight in his head. He couldn't understand. He had been filled with such rage, and so had Naruto- yet by the end their blows hadn't felt violent. He'd gotten the feeling that Naruto understood why he was lashing out. It was confusing and irritating. Why had Naruto looked at him with such sorrow and understanding? Why had it felt like that blonde idiot was forgiving him for the cruel words spoken; with each blow that was deflected?
The stars overhead offered no answers.
It was almost disappointing that Naruto wasn't there. He had no idea why: it wasn't like he would apologize to the dobe. He simply felt- out of place? Mentally shaking his head, Sasuke tried to think of a better way to characterize his feelings. Over the past few weeks, though they still fought and bickered with each other, it was all harmless stuff. He and Naruto had developed a new type of bond with each other, and knowing that he had purposely gone on the attack with the intention to cause the boy pain had left him feeling useless, cowardly, and weak for giving in to his own pain.
The night passed over him in silence. Sasuke was getting ready to sit up and leave for home when he heard the tell-tale shuffle of Naruto making his way down the road. Mixed feelings of anxiety and something akin to relief vied for dominance in his gut. Choosing to close his eyes, he steadied his breathing and waited to see what the loud-mouth would do.
Without a doubt Naruto would scream at him, and then Sasuke would be forced to say something else rude and scathing just because he didn't know what else to do in this situation. If Naruto wanted a verbal match, though, he wished they'd been able to finish it during the trek home; yet the blonde had been silent after their fight- hadn't so much as spared him a glance since Kakashi had put them in separate corners of the barn. In this place that was sacred and demanded peace and reflection, though, Sasuke really did not want to start another fight.
It was too late now, though.
Things were bound to get awkward in the shadow of the watching stars.
To his surprise, once Naruto slipped down the bank of the stream he didn't say anything; just settled down next to him like he always did.
For a moment, Sasuke thought that maybe Naruto was angrier than he'd seemed. Had he really overstepped today? The panic that streaked through him was confusing as hell. He didn't care what the idiot thought.
In any case, no way was he going to break the awkward silence first. It didn't matter that most of what he'd said hadn't been true, or that the look of disappointment on Sakura's face had made him feel the barest hint of shame; he was not going to apologize. He was an Uchiha. Uchiha's didn't back down, were never wrong, and certainly did not apologize to those who were inferior.
Staring resolutely at the sky, Sasuke waited. He did not want to fidget.
Overhead, the stars twinkled benignly. The stream's rushing marked the steady passing of time as the two teammates lay in silence. Then…
"Stubborn ass bastard." The words were low, grumbly, and barely registered through the chirping of the surrounding crickets.
Sasuke smirked before he could stop himself at the familiar words. "Loser." Why did his insult sound so half-hearted?
Naruto gave a sniff. Turning his head minutely to the side, Sasuke opened his eyes to see that the boy was smiling.
Returning his gaze back to the glittering heavens, Sasuke wondered why the sight of that annoying tell-tale grin didn't irritate him like it had earlier. Even more, he wondered how everything could suddenly seem to be alright again. As he pondered the relief that had so easily enveloped him, he never noticed the small smile that tugged his lips in response.
()
Weeks passed, becoming months. Team seven was growing stronger, much to Sasuke's desire that they improve at a faster rate. His own skill wasn't at the level he wanted it to be, but he could tell he was improving. And as much as he hated to admit it, he could tell that Naruto, and even Sakura, were improving as well.
The routine he and Naruto had developed by the stream had settled back into familiar practice. After their fight in the barn, a new sense of understanding seemed to have passed between the two of them. Naruto used it to his advantage, and some nights would find them discussing in low tones their futures, plans and aspirations. Always the big questions posed in the night- things they wouldn't be caught dead discussing in the light of day.
Yet, somehow, Sasuke realized that their openness had managed to creep into their daily routines as well. He felt more stable, and was finding it harder to be mean-spirited to his teammates.
They'd had a mission a few days ago. He'd been disappointed at first: It was supposed to be easy, a sweet and simple C rank mission to investigate reports of a band of thugs taking residence on a pass leading to some isolated mountain villages.
Staring at the stars in his special place, Sasuke's fingers played with the bandage encircling his right forearm.
He'd been hurt in the mission.
Two days ago they had come home victorious, but his actions during the mission had left him confused. He wasn't reckless, didn't do things that could get him killed; because if he was dead, his goal would never be fulfilled. So Sasuke couldn't understand why he had deliberately put himself in harm's way.
"Sasuke?"
Breathing deeply, Sasuke kept his eyes on the heavens above, ignoring the call. Naruto hadn't come by the stream since they'd gotten back. He hadn't wanted him to.
Soft crunching of grass alerted him to the descent of his blond teammate. Sasuke closed his eyes, wishing the blonde would leave him in peace for once. His fingers tightened on his bound arm.
Clueless to the emotions swirling through him- or perhaps simply choosing to ignore them- Naruto carefully sat down beside his teammate. For a moment, it was like old times they had shared there on the bank- peaceful, quiet, and content to be beside someone else in the stillness of the night. Only this time Sasuke wished he were alone.
"You're a real bastard, you know that?"
Dark eyes opened to glare at the back of Naruto's head. His teammate was sitting up, arms wrapping his knees close to his chest as he stared out over the water.
"It's always a pleasure to be reminded."
"Asshole."
"Did you come over here just to insult me, dobe? Because if that's the case, then you can leave." He closed his eyes again and laid his head back. "I really don't want to play."
"Aargh, that's not what I'm doing and you know it."
Peeking one eye open, Sasuke watched as Naruto rubbed both hands through his hair. Both his arms were bandaged, and as the blond twisted his head back and forth under the pressure of his tousling, he caught sight of the square piece of tape on his cheek.
Sasuke felt his breathing grow shallow.
With his head lowered and hands still tangled in the unruly hair, Sasuke almost missed the words lowly growled by the other boy.
"I never got to thank you, you asshole."
Letting out a sigh, Sasuke reluctantly opened both eyes.
Their supposedly simple mission had turned into a disaster. While Kakashi and Sakura scouted ahead, Sasuke and Naruto had wandered off, bickering with each other. Naruto, determined not to let Sasuke lead while their Jounin was away, had raced off; leaving Sasuke to follow, annoyed and reluctant. The loud ninja had tripped a wire, setting off an explosion through the trees they had been leaping through- and alerting the bandits up ahead to their presence.
They were outnumbered and severely singed from the bomb- Naruto was worse off, with his arms badly burned from throwing them up to protect his face. Sasuke had been farther away when the blast was ignited, but the pressure had still thrown him from the trees.
"You didn't have to do what you did, ya know."
The bandits weren't very strong, but they made up for their weakness in number. Naruto, with his hands and arms dripping blood, had barely been able to attack back. Sasuke had easily dispatched the men who had come at him- none of them even used jutsu- but Naruto was struggling, handicapped by his burns. Hurt as he was, though, the blond ninja didn't give in to his weakness. Screaming out that he was going to be Hokage and couldn't be beaten by such puny opponents, he had fought until the bandits were all on the ground.
"You could have let that guy get me."
Their foes defeated, Naruto had collapsed to his knees, cradling his bloody arms to his chest. Sasuke had moved to regroup with him; only a few feet from his wounded teammate, he noticed movement from the broken trees above- movement Naruto, with his back turned, did not. Before he even knew what he was doing, he had flung himself in front of his teammate, shielding him from the bandit who hurtled out of the trees, swinging a gleaming weapon. He'd been too close; hadn't gotten his kunai up in time to defend, had blocked with the only thing he had readily available.
"You got hurt because of me." Naruto laughed then. "Granted, it's because you're too stupid to realize that your arm is not an effective blocking weapon, but still…"
He paused. Sasuke traced the outline of the stars with his eyes.
"You had my back out there, and I- I appreciate it."
He didn't know what to say. Sasuke couldn't even understand why he'd moved in the first place, even now. Had it been instinct to a perceived threat? His training as a ninja to eliminate every foe?
Closing his eyes again, Sasuke could hear the real truth pounding in his ears. When he'd seen the shadow of an enemy about to behead his teammate, he'd been scared. Yes, Naruto was annoying as hell, but he was his annoying teammate. He didn't know how it had happened, but his team had somehow engrained itself into his special place. Not just the blonde, but Sakura and even Kakashi. It was something to protect now.
The idea irritated him. Sasuke didn't need anyone. He had a purpose already, something much more important to strive towards. But…
"Learn to think before you go running around like an idiot, dumbass, and you won't have to thank me next time," he scoffed lightly.
…maybe what he had found over the past few months had become worthy enough to protect too.
Naruto laughed, the sound strangely comforting. "Che, bastard, I'm getting so strong that next time it'll be me saving your ass!"
"Dare to dream, moron."
The grass rustled as Naruto shifted to stretch out on his back. The silence commenced, and once more it seemed like just another normal night on the bank of the stream.
"We're a real team now, you know, Sasuke? A family."
Family. The word triggered something in Sasuke's memory. Hadn't Naruto asked him about having a family once?
He didn't know what to think anymore.
"There you are, Naruto!"
It was Sakura's voice.
"Geez, you were supposed to wait for me at the hospital."
The sound of her feet came to a stop on the road overhead. "What are you guys doing?"
Without opening his eyes, Sasuke sighed softly. "We're doing nothing."
There was silence. Naruto, stretched out on his back next to him, wasn't saying anything.
"Can I join you?"
As if they were telepathically connected, Naruto and Sasuke moved at the same time, shifting slightly to make room for Sakura to lie between them.
A soft hum of content rose from her after she settled into the grass.
Opening his eyes to the dark above, Sasuke tilted his head slightly to the side. Sakura's eyes were closed, a small smile on her face. She looked like an innocent little girl, immensely content in the safety of her teammates. Beyond her, he could just see the tip of Naruto's nose and the outline of his scruffy hair. They were all tucked closely together, arms touching.
Family, huh?
Dark midnight eyes returned their gaze to the stars and deepness of the sky overhead. He came here searching for his family, for a place to belong, for meaning and justice. Now, all he saw was a dark canvas with glittering jewels scattered across it. For once, he couldn't find any answers in the soft rush of water or in the silence of the stars. Maybe he'd never even been able to.
And yet in that moment, with his team lying peacefully at his side in a place he had never believed would hold true warmth for him, he couldn't help but agree with Sakura's sigh of contentment.
End
A/N: Okay, I realize that Sasuke has amazing reflexes and that he probably wouldn't have gotten hurt so easily, but just go with it, people. Fight scenes aren't exactly my forte. :)
