10/11/08
Something terrifying happened once.
It wasn't facing a kidnapping bounty hunter, nor almost drowning. Not the Earth almost being destroyed--even for the second time in one day, even by a kid. It wasn't being taken prisoner, or watching the concrete ground break apart around his lovely car.
Now, don't get him wrong. He loves the sky just as much as the next guy who won't admit it, probably even as much as every girl who openly swoons about it. He really loves the night, when everything is quiet and still. It gets dark and your whole world will narrow in on what you can see, because humans just aren't owls, you know? Driving through stretches of wasteland between towns sometimes long ago--before a team, before a certain red-haired girl and green-eyed boy--he'd pull over, out into the sandy dirt next to the road, and park among the shrubbery. He'd climb out of his Charger, hoist himself onto the roof, 'Careful with the shoes, Kev...', and lay himself down on the top of the cab. He'd bend his knees, prop his feet carefully on the top of his windshield, and put his arms behind his head, would get comfortable for the moment.
Usually when he came back down, he'd glance at the clock and it would be long past when he'd gotten out. But, out there in nowhere, being able to see all those stars on that blackest navy, unhindered by big lights, big city, he'd lose all his frustrations momentarily. It was calming and surreal and everything he occasionally gets the urge to wish he could be.
He would never say, but on nights when things in his head were bad enough, he'd stand, stretch his arms and legs and fingers as far as they could go. He'd never reach or touch anything, he knew, but it was worth it to try and touch that which was so vast, so wonderful that it maybe hurt his heart.
Sometimes, there was a moon overhead as well, and this would be one of his greatest and worst reasons for perching on his car in the dead of night. If it was full enough, the lunar being would block out many of the stars he cared for so well. Some nights that wouldn't help him at all, to get out of his car;; why, when half of his anti-depressants were being overrun by a glow worse than any streetlight?
Other times, he couldn't wait to stare for hours, coming up with silly, girly theories about how maybe his stars needed the moon. For rest, comfort, company. Just something to be around, perhaps?
It reminded him of people he knew, occasionally.
However, there was this one time. Something terrifying happened.
Staring into endless space, he'd started to panic. Because, actually, it wasn't endless;; there was no vastness, for there were borders to this sky. There was no moon for the stars to rejoice with. There was no comfort. The sky was still and bleak, the stars laying no welcome mats, and it was almost as terrible as trying to find peace with a city night. It was awful.
With nothing to console him this time, with his comfort turned to something he couldn't stand, his rage wasn't quite content. It boiled in his stomach, made his eyes do something blurry, made his hands tremble. (Because that is what rage does, right? Oh, how it didn't matter at the time...) He was so out-of-whack with it that his hands moved of their own accord, stretching to reach the starry nebula.
But, no, it was not that he could now touch them that was terrifying.
It was that Ben didn't snap out of it.
Note: Blah. A little something for you. ;p Randomly started typing it when I realized that I haven't been able to stop staring at that damn equinox moon for the past few days. You should be lucky it's out, 'cause I've had this idea since the Alien X episode, & have not written it until now, for the previously stated reason.
God, did that episode piss me off. Yes, it was freakin' hilarious--but, DAMN, was it stupid. It was TOTALLY not what they had it pegged to be in the build-up previews. grr
Anyway, did you catch my drift this story?
