A Platonic Affair
She covered her eyes and cringed, that familiar aching in her gut was back, an obtainable but unwanted love, no, not unwanted, because every sinew in Jessie's body tingled when Mark came near her, the very touch of his hand on hers was agony. But Jessie was a married woman, happily married with two beautiful children, and Mark was single and free, no commitments, but he was so much fun to be around.
Jessie met Mark when she started art classes at the local college. When Jessie's little lads' had started school she felt lost and in need of a new direction in her humdrum life. Art was something she had always wanted to have a go at, and the new classes at the adult education college were just what Jessie needed, but she never banked on a new romance to come with it.
Mark wasn't particularly good looking; Jessie had thought when he swaggered into the class that first day. He sat looking confident and self-assured, as if he'd been short of admirers. He glanced over at Jessie every now and then, from across the classroom, each time she noticed, Jessie shifted uncomfortably in her seat, this was the last thing she needed, although it was a much-needed boost to her self-esteem to think that she had an admirer.
It wasn't until about two months into the course that Mark and Jessie first spoke to each other, "I love your work"
Jessie nearly jumped out of her skin when Mark spoke, she had been so totally engrossed in her painting that she hadn't even noticed him standing next to her. "Oh god, sorry I never even noticed you were there, my hearts really thumping."
"You're not the only one", said Mark with a grin on his face.
"I'm so sorry, I feel such a fool, you must think I'm really stupid", Jessie had started to blush as she spoke.
"Don't be daft, I guess I did sort of sneak up on you", Mark's grin had turned into a big smirk.
"Let me buy you a coffee to say sorry", said Jessie.
"Ok that'd be great, I need the caffeine for my nerves now", said Mark positively beaming at Jessie.
They found they could talk as if they had known each other for years, and spent the afternoon laughing and joking until Jessie realised they had been talking for nearly three hours and she was going to be late for the boys.
Jessie felt all silly, like a schoolgirl with a crush that evening. Every time she thought of Mark an excitement bubbled up inside her causing her to feel like she had Butterflies beating about in her tummy.
It wasn't until David, her husband, came in from work that Jessie came back down to earth with a bump, she had never lied to David in their entire relationship, apart from the occasional little white lie about the chocolate hidden in the cupboard above the fridge. Jessie told David all about her art class that day, all except for the afternoon spent with Mark.
Jessie felt terrible, she'd never felt so guilty before, she wanted to tell David about her new friend and how well they'd hit it off, but she just couldn't tell him. It felt as if she had been unfaithful to David, but all she'd done was talk. It was obvious that Mark was physically attracted to Jessie, and in some ways the feeling was mutual, she had tingled with a wave of excitement when Mark had briefly placed his hand on hers, but even if it hadn't gone any further it was still deceitful to David, but she just couldn't help loving the wonderful boost Mark gave her self-esteem.
Mark was there the following week at the class, and the week after, and the week after that, and each week they would chat all afternoon. Occasionally Mark would hold Jessie's hand under the table, or kiss her cheek when they were heading home, but Jessie never let it go any further, she loved David and was confused that she could find Mark so appealing when she had total love and trust for David, and the kids, she hadn't told Mark about any of them, not even her little lads.
Over the weeks Jessie became more and more dependant on her meetings with Mark, it was nice to escape from her normal humdrum existence, to not be a mother or wife for a few hours, but she loved being a mother and a wife. Jessie came to the decision that she couldn't go on like this, it wasn't fair on anyone, and someone was going to get hurt.
The next time she saw Mark Jessie decided to tell him about the kids and David.
"Hi Jessie, Had a good week?" Mark beamed at her as he spoke.
"Hi, pretty good, you?" said Jessie, her stomach churned with nerves.
"Not bad, I've been looking forward to seeing you again though, I thought maybe we could start meeting away from college if you like, I thought you might want to come round for dinner at my place later this week?" Mark said grinning from ear to ear.
"Mark, I really need to tell you something" Jessie was dreading telling Mark, she didn't want to hurt him, she really liked him, maybe if they had met at a different point in time they might've been a couple, but her love for the kids and David was too strong to throw away on someone she might not love.
"Sounds serious," said Mark rather cautiously.
"It's important…I should've told you weeks ago, I don't know why I never have, I've got kids…" before Jessie could finish Mark broke off the sentence.
"That's ok, I love kids," said Mark sounding more relaxed again.
"No, it's not that simple, I'm married." Jessie couldn't face looking up into Mark's warm eyes, terrified of seeing hatred there instead of their playful smiling.
"Oh…I see…do you love him?" said Mark.
"Yes I do, that doesn't mean I haven't got feelings for you too though," said Jessie.
"I love you Jessie, bring the kids you can come and move in with me, it'll be great, we can be a family." Mark was getting more excited as he spoke.
"I can't, I just can't tell the kids they've got a new life and move out, besides which I love David, I don't want to leave him." Jessie had never expected this sort of reaction and wasn't prepared for it.
"So where does this leave us?" said Mark.
"Good friends?" Jessie said, worried at what reaction this would receive.
"Friends…but I love you, that must count for something to you, you feel the same don't you?" Mark's voice was now sounding desperate.
"I do but it's not enough, I'm sorry, we can still be friends though, I love being around you" said Jessie.
Although Mark was upset by Jessie's decision they continued to stay friends, despite Mark wanting much more from their relationship, but it wasn't long before their relationship was altered forever.
Jessie had been so wrapped up in things that it hadn't occurred to her that she had been nipping off to the loo all the time. Jessie checked her dates, she was late, and the pregnancy test confirmed that, she was going to have another baby.
David was thrilled at the prospect of being a Dad for a third time; David and Jessie felt closer than ever before. Jessie had hardly given Mark a second thought since she had done the test, but she knew what she had to do now.
After the art class the following week she went for coffee with Mark as usual, "Mark, I think it would be best for the both of us if we stop seeing each other."
"What, why? What have I done, I thought we'd got things sorted out between us?" said Mark.
"Things have changed…I'm pregnant and I just don't think it's fair on you, or me if we continue to see each other." Jessie was determined not to let her emotions get in the way of things; she had a new life to think about now.
"Let's talk about this, you just can't shut me out, let me just go and get a breath of fresh air, I wont be long." Mark walked off towards the exit.
Mark had left his mobile on the table, it began to ring just as he had disappeared from view, and Jessie thought she had better answer it for him.
"Mark, I need you at home." Said the voice at the other end.
"I'm sorry this isn't Mark it's his friend Jessie, he's just popped…" Jessie was interrupted before she had the chance to finish.
"This is his wife, please tell him to come home quick, I'm in labour."
Jessie handed mark his phone as he approached her, "It's your wife she needs you."
These were the last words Jessie ever said to Mark as she walked straight past him and never looked back.
END
Emma Palmer
1519 words
She covered her eyes and cringed, that familiar aching in her gut was back, an obtainable but unwanted love, no, not unwanted, because every sinew in Jessie's body tingled when Mark came near her, the very touch of his hand on hers was agony. But Jessie was a married woman, happily married with two beautiful children, and Mark was single and free, no commitments, but he was so much fun to be around.
Jessie met Mark when she started art classes at the local college. When Jessie's little lads' had started school she felt lost and in need of a new direction in her humdrum life. Art was something she had always wanted to have a go at, and the new classes at the adult education college were just what Jessie needed, but she never banked on a new romance to come with it.
Mark wasn't particularly good looking; Jessie had thought when he swaggered into the class that first day. He sat looking confident and self-assured, as if he'd been short of admirers. He glanced over at Jessie every now and then, from across the classroom, each time she noticed, Jessie shifted uncomfortably in her seat, this was the last thing she needed, although it was a much-needed boost to her self-esteem to think that she had an admirer.
It wasn't until about two months into the course that Mark and Jessie first spoke to each other, "I love your work"
Jessie nearly jumped out of her skin when Mark spoke, she had been so totally engrossed in her painting that she hadn't even noticed him standing next to her. "Oh god, sorry I never even noticed you were there, my hearts really thumping."
"You're not the only one", said Mark with a grin on his face.
"I'm so sorry, I feel such a fool, you must think I'm really stupid", Jessie had started to blush as she spoke.
"Don't be daft, I guess I did sort of sneak up on you", Mark's grin had turned into a big smirk.
"Let me buy you a coffee to say sorry", said Jessie.
"Ok that'd be great, I need the caffeine for my nerves now", said Mark positively beaming at Jessie.
They found they could talk as if they had known each other for years, and spent the afternoon laughing and joking until Jessie realised they had been talking for nearly three hours and she was going to be late for the boys.
Jessie felt all silly, like a schoolgirl with a crush that evening. Every time she thought of Mark an excitement bubbled up inside her causing her to feel like she had Butterflies beating about in her tummy.
It wasn't until David, her husband, came in from work that Jessie came back down to earth with a bump, she had never lied to David in their entire relationship, apart from the occasional little white lie about the chocolate hidden in the cupboard above the fridge. Jessie told David all about her art class that day, all except for the afternoon spent with Mark.
Jessie felt terrible, she'd never felt so guilty before, she wanted to tell David about her new friend and how well they'd hit it off, but she just couldn't tell him. It felt as if she had been unfaithful to David, but all she'd done was talk. It was obvious that Mark was physically attracted to Jessie, and in some ways the feeling was mutual, she had tingled with a wave of excitement when Mark had briefly placed his hand on hers, but even if it hadn't gone any further it was still deceitful to David, but she just couldn't help loving the wonderful boost Mark gave her self-esteem.
Mark was there the following week at the class, and the week after, and the week after that, and each week they would chat all afternoon. Occasionally Mark would hold Jessie's hand under the table, or kiss her cheek when they were heading home, but Jessie never let it go any further, she loved David and was confused that she could find Mark so appealing when she had total love and trust for David, and the kids, she hadn't told Mark about any of them, not even her little lads.
Over the weeks Jessie became more and more dependant on her meetings with Mark, it was nice to escape from her normal humdrum existence, to not be a mother or wife for a few hours, but she loved being a mother and a wife. Jessie came to the decision that she couldn't go on like this, it wasn't fair on anyone, and someone was going to get hurt.
The next time she saw Mark Jessie decided to tell him about the kids and David.
"Hi Jessie, Had a good week?" Mark beamed at her as he spoke.
"Hi, pretty good, you?" said Jessie, her stomach churned with nerves.
"Not bad, I've been looking forward to seeing you again though, I thought maybe we could start meeting away from college if you like, I thought you might want to come round for dinner at my place later this week?" Mark said grinning from ear to ear.
"Mark, I really need to tell you something" Jessie was dreading telling Mark, she didn't want to hurt him, she really liked him, maybe if they had met at a different point in time they might've been a couple, but her love for the kids and David was too strong to throw away on someone she might not love.
"Sounds serious," said Mark rather cautiously.
"It's important…I should've told you weeks ago, I don't know why I never have, I've got kids…" before Jessie could finish Mark broke off the sentence.
"That's ok, I love kids," said Mark sounding more relaxed again.
"No, it's not that simple, I'm married." Jessie couldn't face looking up into Mark's warm eyes, terrified of seeing hatred there instead of their playful smiling.
"Oh…I see…do you love him?" said Mark.
"Yes I do, that doesn't mean I haven't got feelings for you too though," said Jessie.
"I love you Jessie, bring the kids you can come and move in with me, it'll be great, we can be a family." Mark was getting more excited as he spoke.
"I can't, I just can't tell the kids they've got a new life and move out, besides which I love David, I don't want to leave him." Jessie had never expected this sort of reaction and wasn't prepared for it.
"So where does this leave us?" said Mark.
"Good friends?" Jessie said, worried at what reaction this would receive.
"Friends…but I love you, that must count for something to you, you feel the same don't you?" Mark's voice was now sounding desperate.
"I do but it's not enough, I'm sorry, we can still be friends though, I love being around you" said Jessie.
Although Mark was upset by Jessie's decision they continued to stay friends, despite Mark wanting much more from their relationship, but it wasn't long before their relationship was altered forever.
Jessie had been so wrapped up in things that it hadn't occurred to her that she had been nipping off to the loo all the time. Jessie checked her dates, she was late, and the pregnancy test confirmed that, she was going to have another baby.
David was thrilled at the prospect of being a Dad for a third time; David and Jessie felt closer than ever before. Jessie had hardly given Mark a second thought since she had done the test, but she knew what she had to do now.
After the art class the following week she went for coffee with Mark as usual, "Mark, I think it would be best for the both of us if we stop seeing each other."
"What, why? What have I done, I thought we'd got things sorted out between us?" said Mark.
"Things have changed…I'm pregnant and I just don't think it's fair on you, or me if we continue to see each other." Jessie was determined not to let her emotions get in the way of things; she had a new life to think about now.
"Let's talk about this, you just can't shut me out, let me just go and get a breath of fresh air, I wont be long." Mark walked off towards the exit.
Mark had left his mobile on the table, it began to ring just as he had disappeared from view, and Jessie thought she had better answer it for him.
"Mark, I need you at home." Said the voice at the other end.
"I'm sorry this isn't Mark it's his friend Jessie, he's just popped…" Jessie was interrupted before she had the chance to finish.
"This is his wife, please tell him to come home quick, I'm in labour."
Jessie handed mark his phone as he approached her, "It's your wife she needs you."
These were the last words Jessie ever said to Mark as she walked straight past him and never looked back.
END
Emma Palmer
1519 words
