I own nothing of the Harry Potter world.
This is my entry in xXKissingSinXx's 100 prompts challenge. It is Au and there will be some OOC moments. Rated for a mild innuendo (just in case)
I will warn you that it was very late at night when I found this challenge and the story your about to read came to me.
The castle is haunted?
Harry Potter, twice savior of the wizarding world, slumped further into the plush sofa and set his feet up on the coffee table in front of him. "So, what should we do tonight?" he asked after a rather large yawn.
Hogwarts had survived the final confrontation with the Dark Lord but had taken a lot of damage. After a year of reconstruction the group residing in the Gryffindor common room was helping the teachers to finish all the last minute projects that needed to be done before the start of term.
Everyone else shrugged at his question, so the Weasley twins spoke up. "Well, we do have this new candy we need to test. Anyone want to try it?" Again no one answered but the twins would not be discouraged so easily. "Harry, where's that cousin of yours?" Fred asked with a devilish grin.
"Yeah, that one will eat anything," said George with a grin to match his brother.
"I don't know or care," Harry answered with a groan.
His aunt and uncle's house had been destroyed by Death Eaters shortly before the final battle and when Harry had gone back to make it right a large argument had predictably taken place. Surprisingly, his aunt had been quite happy to see that he had survived the war and welcomed him back warmly. His uncle had not been so happy to see him. After all the fighting was over his aunt and uncle divorced. To help her get back on her feet McGonagall had very generously offered his aunt a position as the muggle studies teacher. Since she had always wanted to see Hogwarts, Petunia agreed without a second thought and brought her large son with her.
Dudley had changed his attitude toward Harry and magic after seeing only a small bit of the war. Now, instead of bullying Harry he embarrassed him constantly. The smallest bit of magic would have him squealing in delight like a little girl. He was constantly asking stupid questions and worst of all he always wanted to hang out with Harry and his friends. The Weasley's all thought he was hilarious and loved to mess with him. Hermione pitied him and defended him by comparing him to a first year student. Harry just found him annoying and tried to avoid him most of the time.
"Hey that's what we could do! Remember those things he was talking about at lunch the other day? Why don't we tell him you can spot them from the Astronomy tower? Those OBO thingies."
"They're called UFOs Ronald." Hermione corrected him without taking her eyes from the book she was reading. "And that's just plain mean. You shouldn't be cruel to others just so you can amuse yourself. You're not a Slytherin you know."
They all laughed at the look on Ron's face for a bit then started passing around ideas on how to spend their evening. A few minutes later the bane of Harry's existence burst into the common room and exclaimed, "Everyone! I have an announcement to make!" They all turned to stare at the large boy. For some odd reason, that Harry was sure he really didn't want to know about, Dudley was wearing some strange goggles on his head and had a small black device in his hand that had flashing lights and beeped every few seconds. "This castle is haunted!" He told them in an excited yet serious voice.
Harry slapped a hand over his face and groaned as the Weasleys started to snicker. "Dudley," Harry's voice was a little muffled do to the hand that was still over his face, "I really don't think…"
"What? You don't think this place is haunted? You see magic every day and you don't believe in ghosts?"
"I didn't say that. I'm just.."
"So you really think there's ghosts in the castle Dudley?" asked one of the twins while the other looked to one of the back corners of the room where Nearly Headless Nick was floating and talking with two other ghosts. Both the twins were trying very hard to contain their laughter for the boy that was so large and dumb that he made Crabbe and Goyle look like anorexic geniuses.
"Oh yes! See, this thing here's a…um….a….well I forget what it's called but it finds ghosts." He told them indicating the beeping box in his hands. "It reads the energy levels and when it finds an area with a high level that can only be ghostly it will beep and the lights will light up. Then, when that happens it will start recording incase the ghosts says anything that we can't hear, and this part here takes pictures."
Harry sighed again and took the device from his cousin. It looked a bit larger now in his smaller hands. "Dud, I think you got ripped off. I mean, where did you get this anyway? Did you order it out of the back of a comic book?"
"It does seem a bit improbable" Hermione said gently as she watched Ron take the thing from Harry and start inspecting it. "To expect it to do all of that...well…..it's a little small isn't it?"
Fred snickered and elbowed George, "That's what she said."
"It isn't the size that matters it's how it well it works" Dudley defended.
"That's what he said," snickered George.
"And this thing works well. I've been picking up readings all over the castle." Dudley went on defending the machine.
"Please D, I will pay you to shut up." Harry was begging his cousin. He was very thankful that he was out of school now and wouldn't have to endure the humiliation of being at Hogwarts with Dudley. He could only imagine the fun that Malfoy and the Slytherins would have had at his expense.
While all this was going on Ron had got up and was slowly making his way around the room pointing the beeping box at random objects. When he got to the corner that the three ghosts were in he practically shoved the device in their faces but the lights didn't light up and the beeping didn't increase. He frowned in disappointment and turned away from the disgruntled trio.
Finally at another corner of the room the box started going crazy. "Hey look at this!" He called to the others as he ran the device up and down in front of an old grandfather clock.
Dudley bounced over in excitement, right past the three specters without a look in their direction. "There must be a ghost inside of it!" The three of them shook their heads in disgust and floated off through the wall.
Harry rolled his eyes in surprise and aggravation that his best friend was actually going along with this. He was about to say something when a sudden cry of "Nooooo!" echoed through the room.
All eyes turned to the couch Ginny and Luna were occupying. Ginny's face was as red as her hair and there were tears falling down her face from the effort she was making to keep from laughing hysterically. Luna on the other hand had a horrified expression on her face and her eyes were, for the first time in anyone's memory, very clear. Suddenly she picked up a pillow and threw it at the two boys. "Get away from there this instant!" she shouted as she stomped her way across the room and slapped the beeping contraption out of Ron's hands.
"What the bloody…" a shocked Ron started to say.
Luna interrupted him though by grabbing another pillow from a nearby chair and started to hit him with it. "There is no ghost in that clock! That clock is home to a swarm of floxby bugs. They are highly endangered and those flashing lights and loud noises could be enough to shock them into extinction!" she yelled as she pummeled Ron with the pillow.
"Wait! Stop! Stop!" Ron yelled as he tried to dodge the pillow. Finally he was able to wrestle it away from the angry blonde. "Ok, first of all if there were a swarm of whatsits in the clock wouldn't the loud students that live here every year have already killed them? And two, you hit me. And you yelled. You're Luna Lovegood. You don't hit and yell at people. "
Luna's eyes narrowed. "No they wouldn't because they are very accustomed to human noises. And, I most certainly will yell and defend poor defenseless creatures from stupid people like you!"
"Stupid! I'm not the stupid one who believes that stupid little things like those flobby wobby whatever actually exist." Ron scoffed.
Everyone watching winced as they all realized that was absolutely the wrong thing to say since Luna's body stiffened and her eyes went wide. Then with a war cry that would have frightened Bellatrix Lestrange, she lunged at the tall red head. With a scream Ron wisely turned and began running. The others, in shock and amusement, watched as their sweet and gentle Luna chased Ron around the common room.
Around and around the small cluttered space they ran. Ron climbed over couches, weaved through chairs and crawled under tables in hopes of distancing himself from the mad woman. She was doing a wonderful job of keeping up by the way.
Finally as Ron lapped him again with the angry girl on his heels Dudley came to his senses and grabbed Luna about the waist as she passed him. She kicked and flailed about trying to get free so she could resume her chase but quickly found it was no use and contented herself with sending death glares at Ron. He was currently collapsed on the floor at Harry's feet trying to force oxygen back into his lungs.
After a few moments of silence Ginny spoke up, "R…r.., I think you sh..should apologize to Luna." (she was still having a hard time trying not to laugh.)
Ron gaped at his sister for a moment in disbelief but after the pointed looks from her and Hermione and the shrugs of non support from his brothers and Harry he looked over at Luna. He really didn't think that he should be the one apologizing but she did look pretty mad and if there was one thing he had learned growing up with his mother and sister it was that you never wanted to have a female angry with you. Knowing from experience that there would be more trouble later if he didn't he decided for a quick and simple, "Luna I'm very sorry I made you angry and I'll try not to do it again."
Luna stood quiet for a moment. She was back on her own feet again but Dudley was standing ready in case he had to grab her again. "And you'll leave the poor floxby bugs alone?"
"Er…Yeah. Sure. I promise"
"Um, by the way what are floxby bugs?" Dudley hesitantly asked as though he was afraid Luna would turn on him next.
Her eyes and voice were back to their normal state as she smiled up at him. "Oh, they're the most fascinating little creatures. But, I'm awful thirsty after all that running. Why don't we go down and get some tea and I'll tell you all about them?"
Dudley nodded in agreement and started to follow her to the door. "Yeah, and we can get some of that great chocolate cake they had at dinner too!"
"None for me thanks. I'm trying to cut down. They put too many wrompflump eggs in their cakes and those really aren't that good for one's health you know."
"Whoa! Seriously?" Dudley asked wide eyed as he held the door for her.
"I'm afraid so, but the kitchens do have the loveliest green apples though……" Their voices trailed away down the hall leaving silence behind in the common room.
"That right there……that was messed up" George finally said.
"Yeah, our baby brother got beat up by a girl. And Luna at that," answered Fred.
Ron just huffed and plopped back down on the sofa beside Harry with his arms crossed and a pout on his face. "Did not get beat up" he muttered.
"Um….Will someone please tell me what is going on?" Neville timidly spoke up from his spot beside Hermione. The rest of the group turned to him in surprise for they had all forgotten he was there.
"It seems the castle's haunted by a filloxy infestation that lives in the clock over there and Luna will turn into a raving psycho if you get too loud around them," Ron told the boy.
This caused Ginny to finally loose her control and she fell to the floor in laughter and the twins followed soon after. Poor Neville looked from a pouting Ron to the three rolling around on the floor then back to Harry and Hermione. He opened his mouth to ask something but Harry just shook his head at him while Hermione patted him gently on the shoulder.
"So what do we do now?" asked a sullen Ron.
Harry shrugged, "The usual I guess. Come on guys," he called to the three still laying on the floor, "Let's go bother Snape."
