A/N: I don't own shit also this is my first fic so please be nice. This is Blanst but I promise a happy ending.
Chapter 1
Blaine's voice cracked on the last note. He swiftly got up from the piano bench and walked as calmly as he could to the bathroom before he lost it. He would not cry in front of the crowd at the piano bar. Thankfully the single bathroom was unoccupied and Blaine slammed it shut as his knees gave out and a loud sob erupted from his chest. He tried to bite down on the sleeve of his cardigan to muffle the noise. His heart was breaking. He needed Kurt to know that he meant the world to him but he was unhappy. Blaine had tried everything to let Kurt know how he felt but singing was the only way he knew how to express those feelings. Blaine never wanted to hurt Kurt ever but he couldn't take another moment of this.
"Blaine? Sweetie?" Kurt's voice was hesitant.
Blaine's sob caught in his throat. He knew he had to pick himself up and talk to Kurt but for the moment he could not will his body to move.
"Blaine?" Kurt called again. This time Blaine could hear the worry in his voice. "Can I come in?" Kurt's voice was barely a whisper and the pain in his voice pushed a new wave of tears from his eyes.
Blaine slowly stood up on shaky legs. He coughed a bit and opened the door wide enough for Kurt to slip in.
Kurt watery eyes spilled over as he took in sight of Blaine's puffy eyes and tear stained face. Blaine half heartily wiped the tears from his cheeks.
"Oh, baby…" Kurt rushed to envelop Blaine in his arms. Blaine sunk into his embrace and allowed himself to breathe in the familiar scent of Kurt's cologne that he has missed so much. Kurt held him tightly and kissed his hair.
Blaine forced himself to pull away. Kurt's face fell but he didn't say anything. His eyes begged for Blaine to offer some explanation. Blaine avoid his burning stare and tried to focus on calming himself down.
"I'm s-sorry," Blaine hic upped.
"Just talk to me, please. Blaine we can fix this."
Kurt waited for a response but Blaine didn't have the words. He knew they needed to talk but he didn't even know where to begin.
"Do you want to take a walk?" Kurt offered hopefully.
Blaine nodded and wrapped his arms around himself still not looking at Kurt. He let Kurt lead the way through the piano bar.
The chilly autumn air hit Blaine's face but he barely even noticed. Blaine reminded himself that he needed to go through with this. That it was for the best.
Kurt led them a little ways down the block and stopped near a park bench. Both awkwardly stood an waited for the other to speak.
"Blaine…?" Kurt timidly prompted.
"It's just that with this new life you have so much going on and I can't keep holding you back,"
"You're not holding me back!" Kurt argued. "I'm sorry if I've been busy lately but I just want to make a good impression and Blaine this is for my career."
"I just miss you every day and it feels like I don't matter to you anymore," Blaine's voice was shaking but he made himself continue. "I can't keep doing this because it hurts me and you'll meet someone amazing who understands and you'll be able to forget all about McKinley and Lima and… me." Blaine still had not looked at Kurt's face because he knew the second he did, he would be doomed.
"Blaine, what are you saying?" Kurt's voice begged him to reconsider.
"I- I think we should take a break or break up," Blaine's voice was barely audible.
"What?" Kurt was taken aback.
"Please, don't make me say it again," Blaine begged with his eyes on the dirty New York street.
"No." Kurt stated as firmly as his sobs would let him.
Blaine looked up then.
"No," Kurt repeated. "We can make this work. I'll try harder. Blaine please, don't do this. You promised to always love me for my imperfections. Please, don't." Kurt was crying harder now and Blaine didn't know what to do. His instinct was to kiss him and hold him until everything was all better but he couldn't right now and that was probably what hurt the worst. At least Kurt had Rachel to help him. Blaine had no one.
"It's for the best," Blaine whispered.
"You're lying. Can you honestly tell me that you don't love me anymore?" Kurt took a step closer to Blaine.
Blaine shrunk back and wiled his brain to say the right thing but he didn't know what that was at the moment. His mind was muddled shit show of the pain and loneliness he'd felt since Kurt left and the overwhelming love he would always feel for Kurt.
"It's easier this way. You were meant for New York and I'm so proud of you but you're moving on—"
"Don't you dare tell me how I feel! If you knew how I felt then you would know that I still love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I promised you that you weren't going to lose me and I meant it so don't do this." Kurt snapped furiously.
"I know you meant it then but things have changed. I'm not blaming you. I'm just trying to give you room to grow," Blaine's eyes were back on the pavement.
"I don't need room to grow. I need you. I need you in my life. Please, just give us more time. We'll make it work!" Kurt pleaded.
"I'm so sorry, Kurt. I just— I just can't," the lump in Blaine's throat fought him from letting those last words escape his lips.
"Oh my god," Kurt turned on his heel and sped away.
Blaine watched Kurt walk away. His heart screamed for him to chase after Kurt and beg for Kurt to take him back but his body did not move. Blaine didn't know when he sat down of the bench but the next thing he knew, he heard voices right next to him. His eyes had run dry and Blaine felt hollow. Blaine just wanted the voices to go away so he could melt away into a nonexistence.
