Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Terminator franchise. I am not profiting from this in any way.
AN: Just thought I'd let everyone know that I fixed a lot of the grammar errors in this fic. I don't think I'm going to touch it again, because I feel like it's complete the way it is. I wish I could have added more depth to it, but I'm fine with how this story ended up. It feels more like a prequel to my longer fic A Strand in Time now. Back when I started writing this, I never thought it would evolve into the sequel fic that I'm actually quite proud of. Thanks to all the reviewers that constantly pushed me forward. You guys really helped me keep going and inspired me to improve on my writing.
Prologue
"Mom…" he pauses as he searches for the right words. "We have to go before it realizes…"
"Realizes what John?" she asks, her eyes wide and anxious.
"We have to shut down Skynet before it realizes I'm no longer it's ally."
He hears a familiar voice. She screaming on one of those iPhone devices that have become so prevalent in this timeline.
"My bestfriend, Scott!" she screams. "She was the maid of honor at our wedding you piece of shit!"
He knows this voice, and when he turns, he sees her. John tells himself to leave. He tells himself that he's already hurt her once, and he's not ready to hurt her twice. He tries to turn away, but stops.
He knows he shouldn't engage her. It reminds him far too much of his old humanity. It makes him feel something again, and that will jeopardize his mission.
"You're goddamn right it's over!" she screams and tosses her phone into her purse.
He sees her collapse on a bench, and she's crying into her hands. He feels some kind of emotion - pity - for her. It seems as if life couldn't cut her a break in this timeline either. He wonders if life is rigged against her just as he feels his own life is rigged against himself.
Her name is on the tip of his tongue, but he reminds himself that he does not exist in this timeline. She doesn't know him yet, and he should just leave her. He tries to leave, but she looks up at him with teary eyes. He regrets not leaving the moment their eyes meet. His best human memories are with this one woman, and he feels suffocated by the resurgence of the memories he wished had been deleted.
"Do - do I know you?" she stutters.
"I don't think we've met before," he replies. "Excuse me. I must be going."
"Wait," she says in a meek whisper. "Don't go. I just - I mean - I just need someone."
He recalls her putting a gun to her temple. She has tears in her eyes, and she whispers "goodbye" in a dry, cracking voice. She pulls the trigger and blows herself away before his eyes. He hasn't cried since the time he lost his humanity, but he imagines that if he were still human he'd probably shed a tear now.
He wants to brush her off like the dirt beneath his shoes. He tries to say something rude and unforgivable. He should laugh at her. He should call her pathetic. He should tell her that he doesn't have time for her petty problems.
But, he allows her to approach him. He allows her to lean into him. He allows her to cry into him just like the day she lost her father and so many more times after that. His arms are around her before he can stop himself, and he's shushing her just like so many times before.
"It's just hard," she says to him. "I mean, what do you do when you lose someone you love?"
He isn't sure how to answer that question, because he no longer has the emotional capacity to give her any consoling advice. He tries to remember when he was human, and he tries to reach for the best words to offer her. He can't.
"I don't know," his voice is more uneven - less calm - than he wishes it to be.
She is looking up at him with questioning eyes, and it makes him uncomfortable. If he's going to walk away from this, he should now. He pulls away and tries to fix his composure the best he can.
"I should go," he says.
"Wait." She searching is her purse, and she snatches a card from it. "It's my card. It's got my cellphone number. I mean, if you ever want to talk…"
As he takes her card, he tells himself he's only being polite. He knows that this isn't true. He turns and walks away from her. He tries to toss her card aside, but he places it in his pocket. He tells himself he's not going to call her. He knows he lying to himself.
He feels something he hadn't felt for so long, and he knows that he can't walk this line anymore. He can't hurt her twice.
