A/N - This story is kinda different, very angst and drama filled, there are mentions of substance abuse and some violence, so fair warning. It's about love, but that doesn't mean it's perfect, far from it. " Tom Odell - Another love " is a song I think fits this story perfectly, give it a listen and be sure to watch the music video, it will give you a picture of what the story's about. Enjoy!

Disclaimer - I don't own skins


Her legs are wrapped so tightly around your waist, holding you, as if, when she lets go, you will float away and leave her there all by her self. And she couldn't have that, so she clings on even tighter, as your plunging your fingers deep inside of her , rubbing her clit, her deep guttural moans like music to your ears. You've been resting your head in the crook of her neck for a while now, sucking and nibbling on the skin from time to time , but she pushing you up, like she always does when she's about to cum. She wants to look into your eyes, just before she can't hold hers open anymore. It's too intimate for you, but you do it anyway, for her, because it's what she needs, she needs to know you're there with her, present in this moment she want's to share with you, only ever you. She knows you, she knows that you disappear from time to time, even when you're right in front of her. She misses you when you go to that little place in your head, the place where she can't come running after you like she always does, there's no room for her there anyway, she taken up enough space in your heart.

You're looking at her now, sweat dripping down her face, her cherry red hair clinging to her forehead, she looking right back, with such warmth and pure adoration, that you can't handle, so you turn away from her quickly, but she stops you, grabbing your face gently, so your looking at her again, her chest is heaving as she tries to slow down her heart rate, in her post orgasmic state. She licks her lips, and pull you down to them. She kisses you then, so softly it makes your stomach flutter, it deepens quickly than, because you can't help but taste her, dipping your tongue into her mouth, massaging. You pull away than, feeling light headed, she's still gazing at you with such love, so you free yourself from her legs grip, and roll onto your back, leaving quite a space between you.

You reach over, to grab a fag from your nightstand, not bothering to offer the red head one, knowing she doesn't smoke. You put the fag between your lips and click the lighter a few times before shaking it and trying again. Finally it ignites, and you breathe in the nicotine you so desperately craved. You glance over to the redhead in your bed, to find her already looking at you, intently. You turn away lifting yourself up in to sitting position, so you can lean against the headboard to finish your fag. You know she still watching you, and it's bothering you, her attention, she always looking at you, as if making sure you don't go anywhere, it makes you feel needed, but it also makes you feel trapped. And that makes you sick.

" Stop staring at me, Emily" You snap, fed up with the eyes glued to your profile.

" I will look at you all I want, Naomi " the redhead says firmly, just as frustrated as you, but for a different reason entirely.

" Why don't you just fuck off already" You say, harshly

" Excuse me?" She ask, narrowing her eyes angrily.

" You heard me, Ems, Fuck. Off." You repeat, causally, the uncaring persona shielding you.

She's sitting up now, looking you right in the eyes

"You don't get to treat me like that " She says so lowly , you could barely hear her, though you didn't miss the crack in her voice, or her wobbly bottom lip.

You hate yourself for hurting her, you're always managing to do that. You always pick a fight, trying to break her, get her to leave you, maybe for good this time. You are so fucking self destructive, and broken, that you don't understand why this beautiful, smart, talented and amazingly kind women, is with you, why no matter what you say or do, she always comes back to you. She's better than you in so many ways, making you feel so unworthy of her love. ' She deserves better' you constantly tell yourself, which is why you push her, trying to get her to end it because you know you're not strong enough to do it on your own.

You really can't contemplate what she see's in you, you're an unemployed artist, making chump money selling your paintings on the street, you live in a tiny one bedroom studio in london, which is a complete shit hole, pigsty, cluttered with unfinished canvases, and mountains of paint smear all over the place, paint brushes and dirty water water on every corner of the place. It's comforts you, you embrace the mess, but you can't understand why she does too.

Sometimes you look at her, when she's wearing one of your shirts and nothing else, standing barefoot in your tiny mess of a kitchen, where she's making you breakfast, even though you told her you don't want anything. She's always looking out for you, like your a child who can't take care of herself . And it's kinda true because if she didn't make you eat, you wouldn't for days. Because you get carried away, painting and when you're not painting your drinking.

You can paint for days on end, if you didn't need to sleep, you get this vision and once your paint brush hits the canvas you can't stop, because you don't just see it, you feel it, with every stroke, every detail, you're creating something beautiful, something that means something, something that matter. It's the only way you know how to express yourself, you communicate through your art. They keep you sane, otherwise you might burst.

You know you can be cold, unfeeling, distant. You know how much it hurts her when you're that way with her, but sometimes it's just how you are, and there's nothing you can do about it. You fight all the time, but it doesn't matter because you're like magnets, a force always brings you back together. Whether you're calling each other horrible names that you don't mean, telling each other how much you hate one another, it never last, you're making love by the end of the last harsh word. It may start off as an angry fuck, but by the end, it's lovely and gentle and forgiving. It's us.

So here you are once again, starting a fight. Because she can't look at you like your her whole world, and without you she doesn't exist. It's not fair to put that on a person. you don't want that power, your not worthy of it.

" Emily, just go alright, I don't want you here " You say, angry that she makes you feel this way.

" You wanted me just a second ago when you were fucking me! " she spit, viciously

" Yeah, well that's all you're good for, so fuck off, yeah?" you say, causal, trying to get to her

" Fuck you, Naomi" she spit, tears in her eyes, clearly very hurt, but she still hasn't moved.

" If you don't leave now, I'm going to make you, got it? So go, NOW! " You shout the last part, she shakes her head, crying softly now, crossing her arms over her naked chest.

" Fuck you." she whisper this time, so low it broke my heart a little.

I throw my feet off the bed, reach down to pick up my knickers and tank top with colorful paint smears all over it and throw it on me quickly, she watching me, nervously. I pick up her floral printed summer dress, and throw it at her hard , she too late to grab it and it hits her right in the face. She lets out another sob but not because it hurt.

" Get dressed, or you're fucking leaving in the nude" you yell at her, she's refusing to get dressed or let alone move, just shaking her head over and over, sobbing softly, whispering ' fuck you' over and over again.

That's it, you had enough, so you leapt forward, startling her, and grab on to her wrist as tightly as you can. She squeals and tries to get you off her but you won't budge.

" Get your fucking hands off me, you're hurting me" she crying and yelling at the same time.

" I warned you, Emily" you say, calmly " You just don't know how to fucking listen " you say a bit tempered, hating doing this to her, hating trying to make her hate you, but you're doing this for her, so you feel justified in it.

" I fucking hate you" She yells, still trying to yank her arm free, hitting yours in the process.

She doesn't mean it, you know that, but it still hurts you, even thought it's what you want. You know she means the opposite, otherwise she wouldn't be putting up such a fight. You yank a little harder to stop her from wiggling.

" Good " you say simply, again shielding yourself.

You get to you front door, which wasn't a long journey, and you ask one more time, handing her the dress she'd been wearing earlier.

" Last chance, Ems, are you going to put it on or not?" I raise my eyebrows at her, expectantly

She spits at you, quite literally, her saliva landing somewhere on your cheek, she glaring at you, furious. But after that move she's made you quite furious too.

" Al-righty than " you say, nodding your head once. You grab the doorknob with your free hand and twist it open, she started struggling again but it didn't matter, you're stronger than her and her fight is futile. Once the doors open you pull her into you from the hold you still have on her and turn her around wrapping your arms over her, so that her backside is leaning against your front.

" Stop... Naomi please... Fuck, just let me go.. ! She's screaming, afraid

" Out ya go, Emsy" you say unkindly, still angry that she spit in your face.

She gives a completely naked Emily a nice shove out the door, nice enough to make her lose her balance at bit, before catching it. You quickly shut the door but not before throwing her dress and knicker out of it. You look out the peephole of your door, just to make sure she leaves without anyone bothering her, even though there no one around.

You see's her still facing away from the door, her body's shaking though with silent sobs. She slowly turns around and picks up her knickers and slides them on, than her dress. She wipes her eyes and then begins to walk off quickly. You feel sick, you can't believe you just did that, been so cruel. You were being impulsive and now you just regret it like you always do.

you go to the fridge and pulls out a six pack of beer, planning to drink them all by nights end. You sit down in front of a white canvas and start to paint. You let all your feelings out on it, and by the time your finish you're exhausted, six beers not helping.

You lay down to bed, where your senses are filled with her. You drunkenly fall asleep wrapped in her scent, cuddling comfortably to her pillow. You hope she will see that this is all for her, that you just want her to be happy.


A/N - I really hoped you enjoyed! And I hope you listened and watch the music video, it a perfect description of this story. Next chapters going to be flashbacks of how they met!