Hey guys this is my first fan fiction ever so YAY FOR ME! I really hope you guys like this because I think I do. Ok question time! Who here hates all the fan fictions about girls coming in to one of the guy's lives and everything changes and all that crap. There are WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY *hyperventilating now* WAY WAY WAY WAY TO MANY OF THOSE FUCKIN STORIES! Please excuse my language I usually don't use that kind except for when im angry. So ya there aren't any good James angst stories Except for all the stories by "Falling to fly!" And "One Man Writing Game!' and then the story memories. But that's all I can think of so ya not to many! And sorry for the long authors note im done now.

Convo between me and Big time rush.

Me: So James what do you think the story will be like?

James: I really don't know but that's a good Question. Lets find out.

Carlos: Yay story time!

James was sitting in his room listing to music and doing homework when Kendall knocked on his door.

"Hey James phones for you. Can I come in?" He yelled over the volume of the music.

"Yeah sure come in." Kendall walked in to their room and handed James the phone.

"Hello?" James answered.

"James!" The man on the other line seemed really happy to talk to him. But James had no clue who he was or why he wanted to talk to him.

"Um who is this?" James asked in confusion.

"It's me silly, your dad." The man replied. And at those words James froze in the position he was in. He couldn't believe he was talking to his dad. Why did his dad want talk to him? What did his dad what? And where did he get the house number? Crap Kendall was watching him with a worried expression.' I need to think of something fast um Oh that will do.' James thought.

"Um no thanks I don't want any more hair spray I'm good for now, thanks though." James replied and hung up.

"Who was that?" Kendall asked with a raised eye brow.

'That was my hair dresser. She calls up once in a while to see if I need any more hair spray." James answered coolly.

"Oh, wait you have a guy hair dresser?" Kendall asked with a smile.

"Uuu Yeah I do why?' James answered quickly.

"No reason that's just weird having a guy touch your hair." Kendall shrugged and left the room.

'Few that was a close one. You need to be more careful James you don't want the guys learning about your past do you?" He asked himself. He then went back to his homework. He eventually gave up because he couldn't concentrate. 'I need to think about what's going on.' James though. So he left his room and started for the door when a voice made him turn around.

" Hey where ya going." Carlos asked.

"Um out? Why?"

"Can I come?" Carlos asked.

"Sorry Carlos I need to be alone." James answered in a sympathetic voice.

"Ok!" Carlos said in a happy cheerful voice and just walked away. James just shrugged his shoulders and left. He took the elevator to the top floor and walked down the hallway he then turned left and walked straight. Then he turned right and left again. Right once more and stopped at the fourth door on the left. He walked up a few sets of stairs and came up on the roof.

No one ever went up on the roof so he knew he would be alone. He when to his special spot where he liked to lay down. He lay down to gaze up at the stars. This was his most favorite spot in the palm woods. It was peaceful and a good place to think. He just gazed at the stars and thought of his parents that he hated for so many reasons. There was one memory that he remembered very clearly.

Hey mom, dad I'm home a 14 year old James yelled from the front door. "Why the hell are you yelling?" demanded his mom.

"Oh yeah right new rule no yelling." James mumbled.

"The hells right no yelling." His dad said and hit James across the face. "Now go up to your room and stay there the whole night no dinner." James trudged up the stairs as he though how this could have happened to him. It was only recently that his parents had started hitting him. But it was only recently that his older brother Aidan had gone to college also. It started with his mom dinking to help with the pain of her special baby boy leaving. Because even when she wasn't drinking James was never good enough at sports or at school. His mom called him a wuss or priss. Because he was always checking his hair or face and making sure he looked perfect.

His mom hated him and he often wondered why they kept him around. Why not just disown him so he could get away from them. He finally got to his door and opened it. He threw his stuff on the ground and looked in the mirror on the wall. Dam another bruise he will have to cover with makeup. Yes its gotten that bad that he now has to cover up bruises that his parents make so people at school won't get suspicious. His friends haven't noticed yet so apparently he's doing a good job of covering them up.

He goes over to his back pack and pulls out his homework and stated doing it. He eventually falls asleep on his bed. The next morning he wakes up to yelling. His parents are drunk again. He gets up packs up his backpack gets dressed in the few clean clothes he has and goes down stairs to see what all the yelling is about and sees his mom holding a knife to his dad. Yup typical morning. But this time she turns to him and runs at him. He's too scared to do anything so he puts his hands up in defense but that only made it worse. The knife when through his lower part of the arm and stuck to the wall. He was stuck to the wall by a knife through his arm. Luckily his dad wasn't too drunk and realized what he had to do. James was screaming in pain as his dad went over there and pulled the knife out of his are out if the wall. He then grabbed a towel and wrapped it over James arm and led him to the car.

He rushed James to the ER and took him the front desk. Once the nurse saw all the blood and the crying boy she quickly called for n gurney and a doctor. It turns out the knife broke James arm and he had to get stitches on both sides of his arm top and bottom. His friends asked about it the next day and he just pasted it off as falling of his bicycle on to a sharpened tree branch. His friends beloved him so he was happy. Unfortunately that was not the first and last visit to the hospital because of his parents it was only the beginning.

As James was thinking of that memory he was subconsciously rubbing at the scar he now has on his arm he will never forget where that scar came from and that was the last thought he had before he fell into a restless sleep.

Ok so how was that for my first chapter on my first fan fic. Pretty awesome huh? Ya I thought so to. Well don't have much to say except REVIEW PLEASE!