A one shot inspired by TheChicaChic, so thank you. Set in the middle of S5. Also I might be slightly flirting with an M rating, but I've tried to keep this to a T.


From: Z Younis
To: J Portman
Subject: Look left.

The email was completely blank and Jo looked up at him in confusion. Zaf rolled his eyes, and she took the emails advice. She looked into Harry's office, seeing both him and Ruth sitting at either side of his desk, papers strewn everywhere so they were clearly working, but they were both smiling at each other, in an almost sickeningly sweet way as Ruth's hands darted over the paperwork, writing several things down. Jo looked away and began to type.

From: J Portman
To: Z Younis

Subject: re: Look left.

So what? Leave them alone, they seem happy. Who are they hurting?

Zaf looked at her with raised eyebrows and then typed again.

I just think they aren't right for each other. I mean, what do they have in common?

Jo personally thought they were ideally suited to each other. In her message she tried a different tactic though.

Zaf, what does it bother you? If they want to keep their relationship private or secret, it has no effect on your life at all. Are you just offended that there is one woman who's immune to the Zafar Younis charm?

Seriously though Jo, Zaf typed. What can she see in him? He's got to be at least twenty years older than her, he's behind a desk dealing with politics all day and he's boring. He seems… to me just the opposite of what women would want. I honestly want to know, what do women see in him?

"Shit." Zaf looked again at the button he'd just clicked and then swore again. Instead of clicking reply, he'd clicked reply all. Jo looked at him, her eyes wide with alarm. Slowly, heads started turning in his direction, people getting the email and then staring at him. Then people started looking in through Harry's crystal clear window, where the two of them were still laughing together.

Malcolm came walking in from the forgery suite, clearly oblivious with a stack of paperwork in his hands. "Malcolm I need your help," Zaf said desperately.

"To do what?"

"I've accidentally sent an email, and I need it to be retrieved before Harry can read it," Zaf said. "Please!"

"No, I can't do it," Malcolm said sitting behind his desk.

"Please, I need help!"

"Harry's computer is programmed so emails cannot be retracted. Now, give me a full twenty four hours and I could probably manage it, but I can't keep Harry away from his computer and neither can you." Malcolm looked up. "Especially as your time is just about up." Zaf followed Malcolm's gaze and saw Harry looking at his computer and sighed. He was in trouble now.


"Is there a problem?" Ruth asked, her brow creasing with concern as she looked at the worry on his face.

"No," he said, forcing a smile. "Nothings wrong. I just have to deal with this," he said. "I'll see you at the end of the day?"

"Yes," she said. Her eyes flicked to the blind spot in his office where no one could see from the grid, and the cameras didn't catch. The spot where he usually kissed her goodbye. He smiled at her, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "What is it?" she asked, reaching for his hand across the desk, forgetting herself for a moment. He squeezed her palm for a moment, but then drew away before anyone could see. They both got up by silent agreement and went to the blind spot. He kissed her very softy and gently before drawing back.

"Whenever you want to tell me… whatever it is," she said. "I'm here to listen."

"I know," he said. "Thank you. I'll call you later tonight." That made her smile genuinely and he let her go, sheaf of papers held in her hand. He knew it would only be maybe a matter of minutes before she read that damned email that Zaf had sent, and when she did… well, he didn't like to think of the repercussions of that. She'd already made it perfectly clear that she hated being gossiped about, and he could only imagine what that meant for their relationship.

As well as that, the other thing that was bothering him was that he felt Zaf might have a point. At times, his confidence dipped and he did wonder… what did Ruth see in him? He was middle aged. Or past middle aged if he were being honest. His charms of earlier life had gone, and anyway he didn't want to use those methods of attraction on Ruth. They wouldn't work for one thing. For another, she was different. She was beautiful, brilliant and the most intelligent creature he had ever known. What did she want with him, someone whose morals could be questionable at best and who was well past his prime.

"Stop being so depressive," he said to himself. "It won't help." But as confident as he might be in a professional setting, he wasn't superhuman. He did have insecurities, and reading that damn email from Zaf to Jo, which had ended up being sent to everyone in section D wasn't helping.


Ruth read the email and then looked around the grid. Everyone was talking about her, she could feel it in the air. Looking around, her eyes caught Zaf, and he did look apologetic. She nodded and he followed her out into the corridor.

"Zaf, what the hell are you doing?!" she hissed at him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to send that conversation to everyone," he said sincerely.

"Why were you even talking to Jo? It's none of your business what may or may not go on between Harry and me."

"No, I know," he said. "I am sorry." Ruth breathed out heavily, almost at a loss for words. She was angry, but she also knew Zaf wouldn't have intentionally hurt her. She also knew how hard gossip was to hold down around here. "While you're being all quiet, can I ask you something?"

"Go on then," she said.

"What is it about him?" he asked, softening the blow with his cheeky grin. "I really want to know."

"What, in case you're missing a trick with the ladies?" she asked. "Zaf, you won't understand the attraction Harry has until you've lived a couple more decades. So I'm not going to bother explaining it." Ruth walked away, leaving Zaf in the corridor alone, with nothing to think about but her words.


At the end of a long, long day, Ruth knocked on Harry's open office door, standing in the entrance. "Can I come in?" He nodded and turned the computer off, giving her a tired and wary smile. "Why do you look like that?" she asked.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm going to run," she said.

"Do you blame me?" he said. She perched on the edge of the desk, on his side so they were very close to one another. If he moved his hand a few inches, it could be covering her thigh.

"I'm not going to run," she said calmly. "I promise."
"But Ruth…"

"I know I don't have the greatest track record," she admitted. "But whatever they say shouldn't bother us."

"You've changed your tune," he said.

"Don't get me wrong, I would prefer not to be gossiped about," she said. "But I don't think I should stop… we should stop just because of what they think."

"Ruth…"

"I don't like being thought of as sleeping my way to the top," she said bluntly. "The thought upsets me. But both you and I know it's more than that. Neither of us would risk our jobs for a fling."

"No," he agreed. "Are you finished?"

"Er… well yes," she said. "I might have added a kiss, but essentially yes." He leaned forward for said kiss, making her smile. "You still look worried," she said, her voice very soft and gentle. "Talk to me Harry."

He sighed, but then nodded. "I wondered if maybe… Zaf might have had a point. What do you see in me?"

"Oh, fishing for compliments," she said with a smile. Her smile faded when she realised he was serious. "Harry…" she said quietly. "Do I have to detail everything that attracts me to you?"

"Ruth, I'm the wrong side of fifty, I've never been able to make any of my relationships work, including those with my children. I'm a workaholic, I'm… and you're young, beautiful and intelligent. Zaf just said what I was thinking, that's all."

"Okay," she said. "There are many things about you I find attractive, Harry."

"Go on," he said, a slight smile on his face.

"Return the favour for me later," she said. "Because while you think I'm beautiful, I can't really see that either."

"That's fair," he said, eyes glowing as she held his hand.

"Right, where to start," she said to herself, thinking about it. "You have beautiful lips," she said. "Really expressive and sensual lips. I adore how they feel against me. They're so soft and gentle. Or demanding when you want them to be. And you certainly know how to kiss." She smiled to herself. "One kiss from you and you can make me forget my own name." He smiled, eyes alight with mischief.

"Your voice," she said. "It's remarkably changeable."

"Changeable?" he asked.

"Mm," she agreed. "You can order operations around, changing peoples lives, taking life and death decisions into your own hands and then it seems like you reserve the other tone just for me. It's soft as velvet and smooth as honey. It's perfect, that voice.

"What do I say?" he asked. "In that voice."

"You're using it now," she said, a wide smile on her face.

"What else?" he asked, wanting to know what else she was attracted to. She blushed slightly and he was even more intrigued. "Go on."

"I can't describe it," she said. "You have this… scent. It really is indescribable.

"You find that attractive?"

"No," she said honestly. "I find it… comforting. Reassuring and… this is going to sound stupid." She blushed.

"Oh tell me," he said, stroking her hair softly.

"It makes me feel safe, which is a stupid thing. Why would your scent make me feel safe?" She shook her head, not expecting an answer. "The most deeply attractive thing about you though? It's your hands."

"My hands?" he asked. Out of all the things he might have expected her to say, that one didn't enter his mind.

"Mm," she said. "Very, very intoxicating."

"Why?"

"Because they can be as gentle or as harsh as you choose," she said. "I know you've killed men. I also know you've cradled newborns. Your hands can be so very powerful. They can also be the most gentle things I've ever seen." She took one in her hand for a moment, caressing his fingers gently.

"I remember exactly how it feels when these two fingers are deep inside me stroking me to climax. I can also remember just how it feels when you use those same fingers to gently wipe my tears away. You can stroke my hair or hold my hand. You put your fingers at the base of my back when you simply can't bear to not be touching me any longer. You can protect me, comfort me, hold me and love me with those hands." He looked at her in the silence, not knowing what to say. "They're the reasons why Harry."

He smiled at her and then pulled her from the edge of his desk until she was sitting in his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he kissed her sweetly. "Thank you," he murmured. "I needed to hear that."

"Mm," she agreed absently. "Yours or mine?"

"I have the bigger bed," he said with a grin.

"So yours," she said, smiling. She left his office to turn off her computer and put her coat on, leaving Harry to think. What did it matter what Zaf or others thought? Tomorrow at work, his mind would be filled with images of Ruth. Remembering exactly how she looked when she climaxed. How she reacted to his every touch and moaned with delight in his ear. Yes, tomorrows daydreams would be very pleasant indeed.


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