Hey There, Ninth Doctor

Disclaimer: The BBC and Russell T. Davies own Doctor Who. The Plain White Tees own the song "Hey There, Delilah." Unfortunately, neither of them feels like sharing.

A/N: I do not hate Ten. I like Ten. He's cute, and funny, and all that jazz. However, Nine is my favorite, and I thought he seemed neglected when I decided to write this. If you're a Ten fan, don't freak out. This is all in good fun and not meant to offend anyone.

Hey There, Ninth Doctor,

I just want to say I miss you.

I thought that you were really cool and I liked it when Jack kissed you.

Life was good:

You went everywhere you could

Just as you should.

Hey there, Ninth Doctor,

Did you know you're pretty awesome?

I think your lifetime got cut short

Before your chance to blossom.

It was fun.

Then Eccles left

And you were done

After Series One.

Oh, Ninth Doctor, come and see—

Fans still love you and CE.

Oh we need you, can't you see?

Please return for an episode or three.

Hey there, Ninth Doctor,

You still live on in fanfiction

Although between the fangirls

There is still some friction

About whom you chose—

Did you love Captain Jack or Rose?

God only knows…

Hey there, Ninth Doctor,

Gallifrey's Time War Survivor,

You were more badass than Ten

With the great Sonic Screwdriver.

Yes, it's true:

He can't compare to you.

The Master, too.

Oh, it's what you do to me!

When you talk, I'm weak at the knees.

Oh, Ninth Doctor, can't you see?

It's what you do to me.

No matter what the fangirls say,

I'll still love you anyway,

Even as they build their shrines to Ten.

I know you'll come back one day

When the timestream goes to hey.

I'll just keep my fingers crossed till then.

Doctors One through Eight were great;

Ten just need to find a mate,

But after you, things were not the same.

Does that sound lame?

Hey there, Ninth Doctor,

When you left it was a bummer

So I guess I'll go and see you

When G. I. Joe comes out next summer.

I'll see you there

'Cause I want to show that I still care,

But I still think it isn't fair, if I may dare.

Oh, won't you quite agree

That Ten's a little too silly?

I still love you, can't you see?

Oh, Nine, please come back to me.

Please come back to me.