I've heard cries of "Do Kai too!" Good thing he and Saya had already been bringing me to tears, eh?


Nankurunaisa


If only a word had been invented to describe a love as thick and complex as this, he would surely use it. But if one does indeed exist, heartless it is, as it escapes him now, even though it's clear that he loves her so dearly.

Words of all kinds have a habit of escaping him, though, when Saya is the subject. If he could find the perfect word to describe her beauty, he would. If he could find an adequate way to sum up the vast reserves of her kindness, he would. If he could possibly know how to put into words that aura of quiet strength and compassionate understanding that envelops her, he sure as hell would.

But the words escape him.

He could find the words to convince Hagi to dissuade her. He could manage to think of a way to explain to her why remembering those they had lost was so important. He knows how to comfort her, how to assuage her fears and doubts, how to talk himself out of what he is getting into by intertwining himself this tightly with her, but for God's sake, he can't eke out the most important words of all, the only ones he really wants her to hear. He badly wants her to know before time runs out.

But, dammit, the words elude him so easily.

He, who has always been so strong, cannot bear to entertain the thought of crying, yet he can do nothing to stop himself as the idea of her sliding through his fingers quickly becomes a concrete reality. She is gradually becoming more limp, bouncing heavier on his back with each step he takes, her voice becoming weaker. Panic overcomes him, and he tries, oh, how he tries, to tell her.

Yet nothing will come.

The only word available, bred from the depths of his heart, as the tears roll down his face, his lip quivering, body shaking, is nankurunaisa.

Nankurunaisa.

But even that can only do so much as he feels her slip away. He speaks to her now that she sleeps, but the words feel hollow, just like his heart. The grief, the longing, the tears, the love...

He can find no words, because none would do them justice.


A/N: Don't hate me for starting off on such a somber note, please? This is the same as with Forever (whose title I cleverly paralleled) in that the timeline is random and so are the stories. This was just what was with me at the time I decided to start this collection. I gotta tell you, Kai and Saya are almost as powerful to me as Saya and Hagi, but in a different way. Truth be told, though, I always hoped Saya and Kai would be together somehow in the end. I'm sure the idea of Kai becoming Saya's chevalier has been used, but it jumps out at me, and seems so plausible, and so much can come from it that I want to start a multichapter fic on it. Maybe sometime soon.

Take a second to review this if you can, and I hope you enjoyed reading. I will update this regularly.

LL