Queen Fight! Aki-chan Edition

Author's Note: An alternate take on the events of episode 35 of Stream. Enjoy the story and R&R.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to or of the Rockman EXE series.

Pairing: Established Netto x Tohru.

Summary:

Stumped who to vote for in the Ms. Tiara contest, Hikari Netto makes a last-minute surprise entry, to discomforting results.


Tohru fought stridently not to bludgeon the fitting room stall with his head. Somebody seriously ought to shut this fiasco of a beauty pageant down! According to his boyfriend, who'd been enlisted to rate the contestants, there'd been four separate attempts to influence his vote before the committee selected a finalist, including two bribes of food and gifts. Further, the Net Police were on high alert since they heard Neo WWW infiltrated the competition via a balloon-breasted Gauss Magnets.

"Can I come in?"

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but seeing me without my clothes on isn't half as demeaning as seeing me in this abomination!" Tohru adjusted his left cup.

"I'll take that as a yes." Netto stepped behind and drew the curtain. "You look fine. What's the problem?"

"You're not the one wearing a miniskirt!"

Not the strongest counterargument, given how he, Netto, and Dekao all donned the same outfit during Netto's world tour following the N1 Grand Prix, and back then, Netto was no more fazed than he was now. Frankly, it bothered him very little.

"What's the point of any of this? The minute I walk out on that stage, they'll recognize me for the guy I truly am, and disqualify my sorry butt! Why put myself through the humiliation? Why'd you have to register me on the ballot, Netto-kun?"

"I had to do it, Tohru-kun! You're my one and only! I can't choose a random girl over you!"

"If it's between me crossdressing and you acknowledging a girl is cute, I'd rather you do the job they assigned you! No amount of jealousy is worth making a fool of myself in front of that size crowd of people!"

"Look at it this way: That photo of you from our visit to Jyawaii must've really wowed the judges! Ms. Tiara, yo! You beat out Meiru-chan, Shuuko-san, Manabe-san, and Madoi-san!"

"Precisely, Netto-kun! Meiru-chan and the others are going to torture me!"

"I promise, I have a plan!"

The announcement arrived: "Ms. Tiara is…Hikawa Tohru-chan!"

"You're on! Impress them!"

As feared, Tohru's misrepresentation of cyber idol Aki-chan invited groaning detractors.

Meiru reacted first, obviously. "You're joking…"

"T-Tohru-kun!" Shuuko finished her thought.

"Are you blind?" Madoi yelled at the emcee. "That's no 'Ms.'!"

Tohru covered himself. The audience booed. He could never show his face in public again!

Something else stunned the spectators silent. Something else attracted their disgust.

When he reopened his eyes, Netto and Dekao were on stage with him, mics in hand and identically costumed.

"Everyone, thanks for coming out today! My name is Hikari Netto, and I'm on the panel of judges! The board asked me to rank these beautiful, talented ladies, and I couldn't, so I picked my boyfriend instead! Had no idea the other judges would be as appreciative of his handsomeness as I am, haha! But my Tohru-kun's shy about appearing here by himself, so we're backing him up!"

What is he doing? This isn't a plan!

"I know you all know this next number!"

He's not –! He wouldn't!

"Install your heart!" Netto sang off-tune.

"Install my heart!" Dekao croaked along.

Their dishonoured Navis waved glow sticks. Rockman and Gutsman cringed. Iceman was red in the face repressing his rabid fanboy rage.

Meiru snapped pictures. Tohru contemplated hurling himself over the edge.

Partway through the chorus, the speakers shorted and went up in flames.

Oh, thank god!

Tesla Magnets turned out to be Tohru's unlikely guardian angel. She scrapped her "Clara Planets" wig, gassed the auditorium, and pinched the exhibition's much-envied solid gold tiara, which clocked in at upwards of 300 million Zeny.

"Ohohoho! Just try and stop me, Hikari Netto! Net Police!"

Aptly, Netto, Charlie Airstar, and the girls out for Tohru's blood sent Tesla and her cronies packing. The panelists reconvened to crown Mariko-sensei the event's queen, only to learn she was on a weekend spa break in Yokoyoko village. Thus, the Ms. Tiara contest concluded with no true winner. A sad coda for Akihara Convention Centre's grand opener.

"We did it! We totally defeated those Neo WWW jerks!"

"Hooray for you. Now, can I please change out of this ridiculous two-piece?"

"Hehe, okay!" Netto transferred Tohru a hanger.