When you are Severus Snape, a being who virtually ignores the fact that there are things worth celebrating (other than the demise of his enemies,) why not go around to the houses of the Marauders and sing some -ahem- cheerful carols to make the holidays even blither?

Twelve Days of Hogwarts (Parody: "Twelve Days of Christmas")

On my first day of Hogwarts the Marauders gave to me,

A very "happy" curse just for me!

On my second day of Hogwarts the Marauders gave to me,

Two snapping owls

And a very "happy" curse just for me!

On my third day of Hogwarts the Marauders gave to me,

Three rabid cats

Two snapping owls

And a very "happy" curse just for me!

On my fourth day of Hogwarts the Marauders gave to me,

Four exploding snaps

Three rabid cats

Two snapping owls

And a very "happy" curse just for me!

On my fifth day of Hogwarts the Marauders gave to me,

Five buzzing bees!

Four exploding snaps

Three rabid cats

Two snapping owls

And a very "happy" curse just for me!

On my sixth day of Hogwarts the Marauders gave to me,

Six angry goblins

Five buzzing bees!

Four exploding snaps

Three rabid cats

Two snapping owls

And a very "happy" curse just for me!

On my seventh day of Hogwarts the Marauders gave to me,

Seven whomping willows (A/N: Ouch!)

Six angry goblins

Five buzzing bees!

Four exploding snaps

Three rabid cats

Two snapping owls

And a very "happy" curse just for me!

On my eighth day of Hogwarts the Marauders gave to me,

Eight mad werewolves

Seven whomping willows

Six angry goblins

Five buzzing bees!

Four exploding snaps

Three rabid cats

Two snapping owls

And a very "happy" curse just for me!

On my ninth day of Hogwarts the Marauders gave to me,

Nine garden gnomes

Eight mad werewolves

Seven whomping willows

Six angry goblins

Five buzzing bees!

Four exploding snaps

Three rabid cats

Two snapping owls

And a very "happy" curse just for me!

On my tenth day of Hogwarts the Marauders gave to me,

Ten grumbling house-elves

Nine garden gnomes

Eight mad werewolves

Seven whomping willows

Six angry goblins

Five buzzing bees!

Four exploding snaps

Three rabid cats

Two snapping owls

And a very "happy" curse just for me!

On my eleventh day of Hogwarts the Marauders gave to me,

Eleven dragons roaring

Ten grumbling house-elves

Nine garden gnomes

Eight mad werewolves

Seven whomping willows

Six angry goblins

Five buzzing bees!

Four exploding snaps

Three rabid cats

Two snapping owls

And a very "happy" curse just for me!

On my twelfth day of Hogwarts the Marauders gave to me,

Twelve stunning spells

Eleven dragons roaring

Ten grumbling house-elves

Nine garden gnomes

Eight mad werewolves

Seven whomping willows

Six angry goblins

Five buzzing bees!

Four exploding snaps

Three rabid cats

Two snapping owls

And a very "happy" curse just for me!

(A/N: Sure, it's kind of dumb. So what? That's what makes things funny, right? Chuckles weakly Anyway…. R&R? Please?)