Becoming More
Disclaimer
Although I wish I owned the lovely Becket and Castle, sadly I do not. I merely just admire the work of the writers for Castle at ABC studios =D
She wanted to be more than her mother's murder. The sniper case had hit her hard. Even though she knew how close she had come to death that fateful day at the cemetery, it didn't really hit her at full force until she saw how fast Sarah Vasquez's life was taken from her. One minute she was discussing wedding plans with her best friend and the next she was gone. She will no longer be able to float down the aisle in a white gown toward a future with her soon to be husband. Unlike Sarah, she has been given a second chance and she knew she needed to take it.
The first step was accepting that she needed help because unless she truly faced her daemons, she would never be able to be the woman that she longed to be. That is why she is now sitting in her therapists' office.
Dr. Burke is sitting with his legs crossed; notepad perched on his knee waiting patiently for Kate to break the silence of his office. When she stares hesitantly at him, lip drawn between her teeth, he decides to break the ice. "What seems to have brought you back Kate? Our last session ended quite abruptly… I wasn't sure if I'd be seeing you again…"
Kate fidgeted in her seat, not sure how to begin. Talking to that sniper had really changed things for her. He let the scars of his life define him and in a way, she wasn't much different. She closed herself off to all the people who are still here and care about her and love her for her mother, who while she will never stop loving, is no longer here to love or care for her.
"I want to be more than who I am…" It comes out as a quiet confession as if she was speaking more to herself than to the man sitting across from her. She looks down at her feet, trying to find anything to look at that isn't the inquisitive eyes of her therapist but this does not stop him from pushing forward.
Dr. Burke chooses his words wisely. He knows how closed off Kate can be and the fact that she is here today to make a change is not taken lightly. He doesn't want to push but he also doesn't want to let her slink back behind the wall she has built around her emotions. "And what has brought you to this conclusion? Why now?" He sits back and waits giving her time to organize her thoughts.
Kate takes a moment to gather herself before answering his question honestly. "I… I thought that in order to move on and have a full life I had to solve my mothers' murder… But having that sniper case changed things for me. He let his anger rule him and he ruined his life and I don't want to be the same way. Through this whole case, Castle was exactly who I needed him to be for me… He didn't push, he gave me the space and time I needed to figure things out and I want to be able to be there for him in the same way… I don't want to keep him at arms' length anymore."
Dr. Burke smiles internally knowing that today, Kate has taken a big step in changing the rest of her life.
Kate walks into her apartment feeling emotionally drained but at the same time refreshed and ready to move forward. As she closes her door, she throws her keys on the table and carelessly flops down her couch. It was still fairly early in the day and Captain Gates had uncharacteristically given her off for the weekend to relax. After the long talk she had had with Dr. Burke, she couldn't decide what she wanted to do. She could either lay back on her couch and relax for the day or she could go out do something. Maybe even start living a little. After all that's what her and Dr. Burke had discussed today. He wants her to live. Even though her wall isn't totally demolished, not even a little bit, he doesn't believe that should be a reason to keep Castle at arms' length. She now realizes she doesn't have to take down the stone wall that is her heart alone anymore. Knowing exactly what she has to do next, she gets up with a determined spring in her step and starts to walk back toward her door. Right before she's about to open it though, a knock sounds on that said door. Wondering who would be visiting she swings the door open.
"Castle? What are you doing here?" She says in a very surprised tone of voice. There standing before her was the man that she was just so very determined to go see. Once again they seemed to be on the same wave length because he beat her to the punch.
"Nice to see you too detective" he says with a smirk and walks past her into the apartment. Kate is about to open her mouth to say something when he interrupts. "Look I know this case was hard for you and I realize you need your space but I just wanted to come check on you to make sure your taking it easy for your weekend off…I hope I'm not over stepping my boundaries…" He has a very hesistant look on his face that makes Kate want to reach out so she can wipe away the worry lines now creasing his forehead.
Kate hesitantly steps forward and places her hand on his shoulder. "Thanks Castle. Actually I was just walking out the door to come see you. I was getting a little stir crazy here and was going to see if you wanted to hang out?" She removes her hand from his shoulder and awkwardly stands there waiting for a reply.
Castle slowly develops a grin across his face. He steps forward offering his arm to her. "Why detective, I thought you'd never ask." Kate gently puts her arm through his as they walk towards her door. "What would the lovely detective like to do on this beautiful Friday afternoon?" Grinning, Kate drags him toward the elevator knowing exactly where she wants to spend her day with him.
-TBC-
A/N
So this is my first Castle story. I have sort of an idea of how I want this to play out but I'm always open to ideas from the readers. All feedback is good feedback, so tell me how you feel about this one.
