Here is a new story for you all! If you don't like any of the themes below (see Warnings), then click the magical button in the corner called a back arrow! I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT FOR THE STORY AND MY BRAIN! EVERYTHING ELSE GOES TO THEIR RESPECTED OWNERS! This is a very dark story. BE WARNED!
Warnings: Child Abuse (mental, physical), Self-harm, Drug/Alcohol Use/Abuse, Cussing, Yaoi.
Where do I start in this story...? The beginning. Lets start from what I can remember.
My home life sucked. My parents were the worst. They had money, a huge house, lots of things...But they never wanted a kid. I was beaten until I couldn't move and locked in the basement almost daily. Everything they ever said about me is true. I am a failure, I'm useless, worthless, and a waste of time. I'm an idiot and I can't do anything right. Even now, I know it's true. I knew it was true because when I was 4...My father raped me. Honestly, I barely remember why he did it, but I remember every painful second of it. He'd even invite two friends over once, they all took turns raping me or making me do other horrible things. A few times my dad and one of his friends would enter me at the same time, it hurt like a fucking bitch.
It took me years, but as I sat in that stone prison of mine I carved what happened, so others could know what happened to their perfect life. I used anything, pieces of rock, wood, I even worked until my fingers bled before, to carve my story into the stone. I'd accepted death and treasured the bliss I felt when I came near by age 5, of course that never happened. I'm still alive today. Everything seemed to be a struggle between me and life, I wished for everything to end but life had a funny way of keeping me alive, never letting me cross too far into the darkness. Do I resent it now, not dying then? I don't think I do.
Well...I must ask, does what you just read make me sound insane yet? No? How about this:
When I was 6, I'd hidden a piece of glass in a teddy bear they'd given me. July knew to keep quiet and hold the glass for me. Well one night my father was especially drunk and decided he wanted to beat me up some more...It's safe to say that when he unchained my arm, he got a real shock. I dug the glass into his neck, slicing every vein there I could...And I smiled, laughed even, when his blood sprayed me. I just stood there for a second, smiling as blood poured from his throat. Then of course, like a good little boy, I walked upstairs to my mother...Currently she was passed out on the couch from all the drugs and alcohol she had. I stood there a moment before stabbing her chest once to wake her up. Of course once she was up she tried to grab the glass from me...Stupid mother, her arms were cut deeply and I managed to slice one of her main veins in her neck. Again, I laughed as she bled out, I was happy even though I'd just killed two people. But the happiness didn't last long. I left, too afraid to stay in the house. I didn't have money so I knew I had to steal or die.
For 3 years, until I met Watari and he took me to Wammy's, I did anything and everything to get food and money. I stole, murdered, broke into places...Anything you can think of, I probably did it to survive, I even sold my body for food or money, what better way to get money near Las Vegas than become a child prositute? Well, once in Wammy's I was so...Traumatized, mentally unstable, that I was kept isolated for three months. Once I showed good signs of improvement, I was given a roommate. Might I say a really feminine boy. He said his name was Mello, a girly name to go with a girly boy I would've said. Well that boy became my best friend pretty fast. He was my first love, the only one I ever wanted to protect. I'd always hated the sheep, Near, at first...He was always beating Mello in everything, and every time Mello would get angry. But over time, I realized I had it backwards. Mello became abusive to me. I stood up for the sheep and I learned how much that albino boy meant to me. I could see the innocence in him I once had, I wanted to preserve that innocence. Of course now everything seems fine, we've escaped. But we've escaped into my own personal hell. Even with such a positive boy besides me, I can't help but feel the demons breathing down my back. Near tells me everyday how lucky he is to have me. But it's me who is lucky...He is my boyfriend, my soulmate. I love him more than anything. I know he loves me...But I still want to die. I'd take a bullet for a stranger if I knew it would kill me. I still cut, even when he tries to get me to stop...If he knew how much I wanted to die, would he kill me or try to tell me I'll be fine and that he loves me? Would... the little albino ever leave me because I'm broken? I don't think so...But then again will you even think twice about reading this story now?
I am Mail Jeevas, Matt. I ranked 3rd in Wammy's House. And even now, I know I was never suppose to be born.
Matt closed the cover to the note book as a pale boy snaked his arms around him. He wouldn't let Near know just yet about this...It was a therapy trick Watari used to help Matt keep his anxiety down. Matt is supposed to log his dreams or any events he feels he is becoming anxious over. It was supposed to calm him down. He didn't know if it would work, but after he'd spent time with his boyfriend he'd come back and write about the dream he'd had. He stood and turned to the smaller boy. "What do you want to do? I'm all yours."
The boy smilled. "Lets go outside for a while? There's a weeping willow out back, I can sit under there and not get sunburned too bad." The redhead knew the tree Near was referring to. He'd watched as his father buried the teddy bears that were 'killed' in Mail's place. He hated that tree...But for Near he'd walk through hell and back before he admitted it.
This should have been the first chapter I posted (I posted Chapter 2 first) but I fixed it! I hope you enjoy. I found this and thought it was amazing to start off the story. read on to learn about his past and how the boy deals with his newfound problems! This has been on the back burner of my mind for a while. I guess I'll just post a chapter or two and see how it's accepted before I decide to continue or leave it unfinished. Please review and let me know what you think. I'd appreciate the feedback, even if its telling me this is the stupidest idea I've ever had.
