Disclaimer: I own nothing.
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"Wednesday! Pugsley!" Gomez Addams called to his children. "I have news!"
"Can I finally get a real guillotine?" thirteen-year-old Wednesday asked as she sauntered into the room.
"No, darling, not till you're sixteen," Gomez answered, "but you're on the right track. Think of fun things."
"Fencing lessons?" Pugsley asked, confused as usual. At the age of twelve, he was nothing more than Wednesday's favorite human punching bag.
"Like he'd trust YOU with a sword," Wednesday muttered just loud enough for Puglsey to hear.
"No, it's even better than that," Gomez finally said. "Your mother and I have been talking, and we've decided it might be fun for us all to take a cruise to Bermuda."
"Is the Triangle on the list?" Wednesday asked curiously.
"At the end," Gomez said, "which sounds like the best ending for a vacation."
"How long is the cruise?" Wednesday asked, trying to send her father The Look. Every female with a brain has a Look, and Wednesday's was of the Death Stare variety.
"Ten days, with the Triangle on the ninth." Gomez's pacientce was wearing thin - Wednesday was acting unusually intense, and intense for her would be frightening on a normal child.
"Lovely." Wednesday was clearly being sarcastic. "We have to spend over a week with normal people."
"Nonsense, Wednesday - they're not normal, they're tourists!"
"Even worse. Not only are they normal, but they'll have cameras and try to use their photographs of Pugsley as proof of the Missing Link."
"Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday," Morticia sighed, gliding down the front staircase. "Haven't you always wanted to learn how they can stand themselves?"
"Unless this is a suicide cruise," Wednesday muttered, "I don't think I'll get to find out."
"It'll be fun, darling," Morticia sighed. "I still remember going on a cruise when I was two years older than you - wearing my best black gown, dancing with any boy who'd take me, pushing the ones who wanted more off the edge and into the cold, dark sea..."
"Enough, Morticia," Gomez interjected. "It isn't like Wednesday needs to know that."
"I got carried away, darling," Morticia said as she gilded out. "Fond memories..."
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A/N: Hopefully this works. Please read and review!
