Jamie figured he'd remember that feeling for the rest of his life. There would be no shaking it, even if he wanted to (which he really didn't). Looking back on it, the moment was so them it bordered on surreal. There, in the middle of the road. Shots fired. Possible officer in distress. There, in the middle of the road. I'd spend it on you. There in the middle of the road, sirens blaring, officers barking orders, witnesses screaming, lights flashing and Eddie's duty belt digging into his stomach.
Once the on duty sergeant showed up, the two reluctantly broke their hug, but remained touching, shoulders brushing as their commanding officer gave them the rundown; they would have to go talk to some detectives, file some paperwork, and make statements. When they were offered a ride back to the precinct, both chose to sit in the back where they instantly and wordlessly reached for each other's hands.
However, no matter what he did or who he talked to, he kept finding himself back there, in the middle of the road.
Even when he was in the interrogation- sorry, interviewing room- answering the investigating detectives' questions (all police involved shootings had to be cleared by the department, purely a formality, he was assured)- even then, half his brain was still focused on the way he clung to her in the middle of the road.
Even when he was fielding calls from his whole family, spewing promises of wellbeing via never-ending phone calls- even then, when he said, "It's okay. I'm fine, I'm alright," he was sure he was back in the middle of the road, whispering into her ear rather than into the cell phone receiver.
And when the hours of paperwork were over and he had finally been allowed to change and go home, even as he exited the locker room, he was there. And so was she, waiting in the middle of the hallway, the blue-red pulse of the patrol car lights not quite faded from the blue-green of her sharp gaze.
He squeezed her hand reassuringly as they left the precinct in silence, wading into the cool New York night, convinced he could still feel her breath at the back of his neck, the pounding of her heart through two Kevlar vests.
It wasn't until hours later, sometime past 2:20 AM when she asked finally, "What's next?" That he realized he'd be in the middle of that road for the rest of his life. There was no leaving that- no leaving her- behind.
And it was not until he replied, "I guess we find a way to cash in that five mil," that he started to formulate his plan.
Well— that wasn't entirely true. If he was to be honest, he'd been planning it since he first laid eyes on her, since they first dodged bullets and threw quips and saved lives and fought the inevitability of their feelings.
When she first kissed him, he promised he wouldn't propose in some fancy restaurant, but on a patch of sidewalk, in front of some brownstone or cafe, because neither of them were made for crystal champagne glasses or Cabernet that cost more than his car.
When he pulled her from the back of Russell Price's car, cut the tape from her ankles and wrists, he knew there'd be no diamond, no ring. Just his heartfelt, dogged promise that he'd have her back till the day he died.
When she kissed him the second time, he knew he'd be the one who pulled her in for a kiss the next time- right after he proposed- just to even the playing field.
When they danced, surrounded by well dressed strangers, he knew when he proposed he'd play Elvis's "Can't Help Falling in Love", because though Louis Armstrong had been playing that night, he couldn't help but hear his mothers not-so-secret favorite song.
His proposal was years in the making, hours of murmured prayers and confessions, a compilation of thousands of shared moments. His proposal was perfect. Leave it to Janko to throw a wrench in his plans, as usual.
Just as she had in the very first moments of their partnership, she had yanked the wheels right out of his hands.
Just as Jamie was devising his strategy, Janko abruptly stopped walking, anchoring Jamie and herself to the spot on which she stood. "Jamie, the way I see it, this- you and me- goes down one of two ways," she asserted, voice strong and clear. It was the first words she had spoken since they started their walk from the precinct hours ago.
Jamie's lips twitched into a smile, amused as always by her no-nonsense commanding. "Oh yeah? How's that?"
Eddie shifted, widening her stance with authority, much the way she did when she was talking to someone they stopped for suspicious activity. "One: we take this as a sign and decide to part ways as partners, and our story lives on only as stories we swap with other washed up cops when we're 50."
Jamie jerked his head back in aversion. That was the exact opposite direction he wanted to go. "Uh, that's a little-"
"Don't interrupt, Jameson. I'm not finished."
Jamie rolled his eyes good naturedly, snorting. "'Course not." He muttered through a grin, raising a single hand in apology.
"Two: we take this as a sign and you say yes," she declared, raising a single, immaculate eyebrow. Jamie stared, bewildered. "Now it's your turn to talk, Regan." Eddie prompted, tone conveying sarcasm with an undercurrent of nervousness.
"Er- I would, only, I'm not sure what you want me to say yes to." Of course, he was lying. But since she had divested him of the chance to propose, the least he'd get in return was the words, straight from her smart little mouth.
"Harvard, huh? You sure that diploma's real?" She shoved his shoulder playfully.
"As sure as I am that you lost our last round of darts," Jamie boasted laughingly.
"Regan, shut up and say you'll marry me already."
He said nothing, only snagged her waist and dragged her toward him. His lips descended on hers with a tender sort of vigor. A few seconds- minutes?- later, they broke away from one another long enough for him to breath, "yeah, alright," before their lips crashed together again.
When the bodega owner came out and yelled at them to, "Go get a room, morons!" Jamie pulled her toward the street corner, and assured, "Yes, I'll marry you. As long as you promise to say yes when I ask you. My brother will never let me live it down if I let you beat me to the punch."
With a flick her her head, she tossed her hair behind her shoulder as she replied, "Yeah, well, you better grow a tougher skin, Jamie. Because you're gonna have to get used to being beat by me-" She was suddenly pulled off balance and into the strong arms of her partner.
In a voice so low it was nearly a whisper Jamie interrupted, "Janko. Eddie." Her eyes met his and continued, "Will you marry me?"
Hand resting on his collarbone, lips tilted up toward his, she accepted."Yeah, Jamie. You're stuck with me now."
He pressed his lips to hers ever so briefly. "Wouldn't have it any other way, partner."
—-
They entered Jamie's apartment some time later, following a very mundane taxi ride. After unbolting his three separate locks, Jamie pushed the door open, motioning for Eddie to enter first.
"Ah, Regan, ever the gentleman," Eddie teased, making her way into his apartment comfortably. She had been here many times and had no qualms about being here. In fact, entering his small home felt natural to her, after having come here countless nights, whether to de-stress, or help Jamie, or just mooch off her partner's HD ESPN.
"Don't pretend you don't love it, Janko."
Eddie scrunched her nose but didn't refute, choosing instead to plop herself unceremoniously onto Jamie's outrageously comfortable couch. She let herself sag into the cushions, head lolled against the back, limbs splayed. "The only good thing about filling out those mountains of paperwork is that we have a guaranteed few days off while they process and review it all." She pulled the brown knit blanket from its place over the armrest nearest her, draping it over herself. "Which means we get to sleep in tomorrow."
Jamie sat next to her on the couch, unfolding the blanket more, careful not to strip it from his partner. Jamie huffed, allowing himself to similarly sink into the couch, eyes shutting seemingly of their own volition. Weariness entering his voice as he corrected, "You get to sleep in. I get to go to Mass and figure out how to tell my family that I got impulsively engaged to my patrol partner after I was nearly shot to death."
"You've always had a flare for the dramatics, Regan." Eddie smiled, poking his elbow with hers.
Jamie sighed and sat up, forcing himself awake. This thought had been working its way from the back of his mind to the forefront since they had hopped in the cab. He had hoped his conscious would allow him a couple of hours of respite, but apparently it was naught to be. It was currently burning a hole in the center of his forehead, right in between his eyebrows. "No, seriously Eddie. We should talk about this."
Eddie nodded, pushing herself upright. She brushed her hand against the back of his head soothingly. "Yeah, I know." She acknowledged softly.
"The timing of all this. It makes sense to you and me. And to some extent, maybe even Danny and Erin." The faintest blush tinged his cheeks. "Apparently I'm more transparent than I'd like to think I am."
Eddie brushed a thumb across his cheekbone grinning. "Aw, don't worry, Jamie. I think it's endearing."
"Whatever." Jamie grinned back, before forcing himself sober again. With the whirlwind of today, it was hard to stay focused. All he wanted to do was enjoy Eddie's company and get some well deserved rest. "Dad, he'll be the hardest sell. Always is. I just don't know what I can say that'll make this seem- Jeez, I dunno, reasonable?"
"Well," Eddie began, a thoughtful look in her eyes, "You're dad's a reasonable guy. A good man. He knows what being in love is like, if the stories I've heard of your childhood are anything to go off of."
"Yeah," Jamie acknowledged, verbally signaling that she should continue.
"Your father may be the PC, but he's also your dad, Jamie. He didn't raise you to be a lawyer or a cop or anything else. He didn't raise you to serve a purpose, to fill a place in roll call. He wanted you to grow up, be happy, right? If that's what this is- how could he have a problem with it?"
Jamie sat there for a second, considering the woman before him, marveling at the wonderful things she had just said. "Damn, Janko. You wanna officiate the wedding too?" She scrunched her nose, shrugging off his joke. Jamie smiled softly at her, nudging her knee. "No, but honestly. Thanks for saying that. It helped a lot." Jamie scoffed, shaking his head at no one in particular. "Sounds like you put a lot of thought into that. It almost like you've thought about it before."
"Well, I-" Eddie stuttered. It was her turn to blush now, which Jamie found both hilarious and adorable. It was a rare thing indeed to see his partner blush, let alone be the cause of it. By her own admission, she was very hard to embarrass.
"Aha. So you have thought about this before."
"I mean-" She halted again, blinking in rapid succession, caught somewhere in between bashfulness and honesty. "Yeah. I mean. It's you. And me. The stuff we've seen…" She closed her eyes for a moment. When she reopened them, Jamie discerned a sureness that hadn't been there second before. "Yeah. A lot, actually. You know, after you almost got shot- the first time, that is-" She added, perturbation entering her tone, "And you know, after you came over, after I- after my first shooting…" She laughed a little, shaking her head. "And you know, hundreds of other times. Pretty much everytime we went out for drinks or you told me whatever guy I was dating wasn't worth it or whatever."
"Well, they weren't." Jamie replied frankly.
Eddie propped her elbow on the back of the couch, resting her temple against the palm of her head. "I know that...now."
"Hindsight is always 20/20, right?"
She smiled, leaning into her hand a little more. "Right." She dragged her feet from the coffee table, placing them in his lap casually, as if it was something she did all the time. "What about you? You saying you never thought about it."
Jamie rested his forearm against her shins. "Yeah." He disclosed without missing a beat. "Yeah, I had a great proposal planed, which- thanks to your great timing- you will never get to experience." She retaliated with a foot to his face. He swatted it away, chuckling.
"Wow, you went as far as planning a proposal? Bold, Regan."
"I went further than that." Jamie admitted.
"Oh did you?" Eddie demurred, a fake scandal entering her voice.
"Cut it out," He barked without conviction, head thrown back in amusement. "I just mean, you know, vows, wedding. That sort of thing."
Eddie stilled at that, laughter gone. Her sparkling eyes echoed the deep respect and loyalty voiced in his words. "You too, huh?" She smiled. "I dunno, Jamie. Maybe you and I are more alike than we think."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
Jamie studied her for a second. "Well. I know how we're gonna tell dad at family dinner tomorrow."
"We?"
