Title: The Thought.
Pairing: Danny/Martin
Summary: Martin has recurring thoughts about Danny.
Raiting: K
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Fic written from entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is implied.


THE THOUGHT

The first time the thought occurs to him, Martin is leaning back on the rail at the far end of the pier, waiting for the divers to resurface. Danny's right next to him, telling a joke about a fish named Scott while peering into the water as if he has x-ray vision and could find the lost body just like that. Martin's not really sure he understands the punch line, but to be honest, he's not really paying attention because reflected rays of lights are dancing across Danny's face reproducing the patterns of the water, and he's too busy contemplating his new thought. Martin remembers it clearly for it is the first time that he thinks, in all objectivity of course, that Danny is a very handsome man. He also thinks that maybe if he was half as handsome, with half as much natural grace or charisma, his life would be simpler and he would not spend so many nights wishing he had somebody else to hold onto. A small pang of envy courses through him then.

The second time a similar thought occurs, Martin's at the office and Danny is about to go undercover. Worn-out blue jeans, white t-shirt, dark blue leather jacket, and the moment at the pier flashes through Martin's mind as Danny is definitely a handsome man echoes through his head once again. This time however, they're not looking for a dead body, not yet anyway, and he feels alive and hopeful so instead of wallowing in his loneliness, he silently adds that if he liked men, he would probably fall for a guy like Danny in a heartbeat. He gives a little laugh at that and smiles when Danny tells him he's ready to go.

The third time comes as an electroshock. Martin is in the video room with Danny going over some video surveillance. Martin catches himself glancing at Danny more than once, and for the love of all that's good and holy, he can't bring himself not to because Danny is wearing this new black suit and is literally oozing sex appeal. The tape comes to an end and as Martin slides in the next one, he suddenly wants Danny to notice that he also has a new piece of clothing, a new tie, and he wants Danny to find it pretty and to tell him that it looks good on him. Later that day, it dawns on Martin that what he really wants is Danny's eyes to settle on him, remain there and look at him the way he's been looking at Danny, and Martin's not sure what to make of this.

The fourth time, Martin realizes he's not sure it's the fourth. It may very well be the seventh or the fiftieth because lately, the thought has been at the back of his head almost constantly. Danny is just sitting at his desk going over some files, totally oblivious of Martin, frozen in his own seat, unable to look away. Martin cannot really pinpoint the moment when things started to change and it curiously bothers him more than the fact that things did change. Because the change he can handle. It's easy. He can just blame it on his loneliness. Simple as that. It's not like he's attracted to Danny, so he knows he doesn't have to question his sexuality. He knows he's not gay. It's just that Danny's nice to look at, and there's nothing more to it.

The umpteenth time, Martin thinks he would succeed in fooling himself with his own lie if he hadn't been smiling back at this guy sitting at the bar for the last ten minutes, guy who coincidentally looks like a pale copy of Danny and after all, if Martin squints he can almost believe it's him. When his back hits the wall of the alley and lips attack the curve of his neck, Martin closes his eyes and just decides to pretend for a while, but sooner or later he knows he'll have to open them and that squinting won't do the trick. He wants to laugh because he feels like he's betraying Danny and that's just silly since they're not together, and he's not attracted to Danny, so he breaks into a run leaving a stunned stranger behind.

Martin doesn't bother to count anymore because the thought has pretty much become permanent. They are in the elevator coming back from a long day in the field and Martin is smiling and laughing over every little thing Danny says. He's flirting, he knows it, it scares him but he can't stop himself and Danny is either clueless or doesn't mind because he's smiling back and Martin tries not to read too much into that. When he finally goes home and reflects on his day, he has to face the truth and admit he doesn't only like to look at Danny, but he also likes Danny, a lot, and as it turns out, he'd really like it if Danny liked him back. He's not sure if it means that he's gay because he doesn't feel any attraction towards any other men, nor has he felt any in the past. Martin thinks that maybe he's not gay. Martin thinks that probably this attraction he feels has nothing to do with men and everything to do with Danny.

The last time the thought occurs, Martin actually voices it. He's in the file room searching for an old report when Danny strides in bleeding confidence, looking all gorgeous and happy, flashing Martin one of his dazzling smiles and before he realizes it Martin hears himself whisper something about Danny being beautiful and apparently Danny has good hearing because he stops dead in his tracks and his eyes go wide. Martin feels the tip of his ears burning up and he knows his face must be red. He slowly backs away, suddenly fascinated by the linoleum floor and tries his best to get out of this mess but he babbles, and he wishes the earth would swallow him, because he knows Danny's probably judging him but then he feels Danny's hands on his shoulders and he looks up, and Danny's looking at him just the way Martin has dreamt and he can't breathe, and Danny is closing the distance and this can't be happening he muses. When Danny's lips slowly melt against his, Martin decides he's done too much thinking and that it's about time he starts to live so he kisses him back.