Mariana stood resolutely, eyes locked with the man in front of her.

He was a Male Channeler, a suspected Dark Friend, and wanted by almost every country; but he was going to let her study him and that was all that mattered.

The yellow fringe on Mariana's shawl swayed gently as she stepped back, taking her hands from the sides of 'Ranolin's head and dusting them off calmly. She could show no anxiety outwardly even though inside she was twisted in knots of fear and borderline terror. If anyone found out about this. Well Mariana didn't want to think about that.

"I'm done, you may go now." Mariana nodded, her earrings swinging back and forth a little.

Ranolin nodded, just a coolly, and turned to focus on the spot he always made his gateway at.

The door burst open and five Aes Sedai stepped into Mariana's chambers. Deedlit, Mira, Iliana, Kazalyn, and Nest.

Iliana and Deedlit hardly even blinked, they embraced the power and slammed out with it at Ranolin before Mira, Kazalyn, and Nest had even recognized the man.

As a charred corpse fell to the floor, all five gazes shifted to Mariana and caused her to step back, a hand to her throat.

"Please." she whispered as a shield slipped over her, but it was too late. Too late.

*flicker*

"The way back will come but once, be steadfast." the voice echoed in Mariana's head like an empty whisper and she saw the silvery portal open a little to her left, if she didn't go now, she would be stuck here forever.

A tear trickled down Mariana's face but she turned back to the battlefield all around her, not noticing when the portal disappeared, flickered back for a moment, and then went again.

Mariana was a healer, she could do something here, and until that task was done she knew she couldn't leave. But now she would never leave, and was it worth it for what might not even be real? Mariana thought so.

*flicker*

"I'm sorry child." Estrella said softly and moved around her desk to look Mariana in the eye.

"You haven't got the talent for healing, the yellow ajah does not except you."

In stunned silence, Mariana turned to go, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her for a moment and she looked back to see Estrella's pained look.

"You. I think you would make a fine blue."

With a shake of her head, Mariana walked out of the office in a daze, hardly noticing the comforting looks from any Yellow Ajah she passed. They all knew, they all bloody knew.

When she entered her room, Mariana embraced the power and traveled, not even taking in the vase of yellow roses or the two novices who were packing up her things to be taken from the accepted rooms to a chamber for an Aes Sedai.

The blight appeared around Mariana, shimmering in the heat of a blazing sun and hot enough that Mariana instantly broke into a sweat.

The trolloc's were surprised when their limbs ripped away from their bodies, spraying blood and staining the hard earth, but Mariana wasn't surprised when the dagger sank into her back and brought death quickly.

*flicker*

*flicker*

*flicker*

Mariana's eyes flew open and she staggered back, thudding into Jairc and collapsing into his arms weakly.

"Mariana? Mariana! What happened?!" Jairc's voice held an edge of panic as he grabbed Mariana to himself so hard she almost couldn't breath.

"Fine." Mariana nodded slightly and gasped in a deep breath as Jairc loosened his grasp.

"Are you alright? There must be a healer of some sort in that little town a few miles back, we could be there by-"

"No. I'm fine." Mariana tapped Jairc's lips with a finger to silence him and smiled a little, "I'm just tired. I. I must have drifted off."

"Drifted off?" Jairc said with an arched eyebrow.

Blinking, Mariana looked around and was surprised to see that the sun was going down. Had she never left the camp sight? Was she real? Of course she was real, but.

"You said you wanted to look at the carvings on that stone and the next thing I knew you were stumbling back and yelling something about the 'Great Lord'?." Jairc hesitantly added the last part, peering uncertainly at Mariana.

"Great Lord? Why in the light's name would I." Mariana trailed off and her face turned to a mask of horror as she realized what had happened, a faint memory of turning to the Dark, almost as if she had done it along time ago.

"I. Lived a thousand lives. They were all me but I made different choices, went down different paths." Mariana couldn't look in Jairc's eyes, hoping he wasn't angry with her for. What she hadn't done?

"Shhhh. It's alright." Jairc said quietly and hugged Mariana to himself, rocking back and forth a little as she burst into tears, what was she talking about? He knew she wasn't a Dark Friend; the very idea was ridiculous. It would just have to wait.