Hi, everyone!

I'm new to fanfiction, so please go easy on me.

Disclaimer - I own nothing Twilighty.

This was originally meant to be a 'drabble fic' but I couldn't fit everything I wanted to into drabble-ish chapters, so all of them will be about this length.

Please remember, this is fiction. References I make to things in real life are merely me taking the name and the place of them and changing everything else about them until it fits in the story.

Updating schedule - Once every 2 or 3 days.

Rated M for language, lemons and all round adult shenanigans


Pretty Beggars - Chapter One

'And so, when Sue Clearwater grabbed the innocent puppy by the scruff of it's neck and saved it from certain death, she instantaneously became the Wonder Woman in the eyes of the town. The owners of the dog, Billy and Sarah Black say, "We are completely indebted to Sue. She saved our puppy. We love you, Sue!"

'This report was written by Isabella Swan.'

"Why do they make you write your full name at the end?" Jake said - well, that's what I thought he said, as he had a mouth full of taco. I rolled my eyes.

"Because that's my name." I said simply.

"Yeah, well." He continued to grumble. I turned my back on him and fired off my report to my hated boss.

Mike Newton. I even thought the name with disgust. He had no respect for his employees. He never gave promotions or any raises in salary to anyone other than his favourites. Not surprisingly, all of those people were skinny, leggy, booby blondes. And the rest of us had to work our asses of just to get through the day.

"Uh-oh. Here comes the Bogey Monster." Jake said, his tone teasing. I snickered. Ever since we'd caught him picking his nose in his office - which he seemed to have forgotten was made out of clear glass - that had been his nickname. It had spread around the office, and now that was what he was known as to everyone. Some poor kid accidentally said it to someone while Mike was standing right behind him. Safe to say, he was fired straight away.

"Can I have your attention please?" The BM said in a nasal voice. All of us swivelled on our chairs slowly, showing him that we'd rather do anything that give him our attention.

"As you are probably aware, Mount St. Helen is due to erupt any day now." He began. His voice made we want to facepalm myself. I felt so embarrassed for him. "And one of you lucky people is going to get the chance to visit Skamania County, where Mount St. Helens is situated to get the latest. You will be staying there for a week. All expenses will be paid." The silence following his little speech was so stony that I swear that I seen a tumbleweed roll by.

"Yes, well." He cleared his throat. "There are enough leaflets to go around up the front here. If you're interested, put your name in this box and the lucky person will be chosen tomorrow, at random." Again, no-one moved. "Have a nice day." He nodded, and awkwardly shuffled off.

Quiet chatter began to slowly fill the room again as this information sunk in. Me and Jake exchanged interested glances.

"I'm totally signing up for that. Are you?" Alice asked me, walking into my tiny cubicle, with Rose following close behind.

I was surprised that the BM didn't take a liking to Rose. She fit all of his criteria and more. She had the figure of a model, long, shiny blonde hair and she was extremely clever. I think he was just intimidated by her, more than anything else.

"Eh, I dunno." I shrugged.

"Why not?" Rose and Jake asked at the same time.

"I don't know. Probably too many conditions. He gets his pleasure out of fucking us around."

They all nodded at the same time. "True dat." Jake agreed. "But still. It's a free holiday. It'd be a chance to get that promotion you've always dreamed off, Bells!"

Ha. Fat chance of that happening. Jake, Rose and Alice were all at least 2 positions above me in this place. They even had their own office - each. I was stuck in a cubicle next to interns straight from college. I had worked here 4 years and not gotten anywhere further than the staff toilet.

But Alice nodded excitedly at Jake's statement. "That's true! I know you'll get it one day, Bells. You're so capable of it! You've just got to believe in yourself."

"Spare me the crap, Ali. I'm getting nowhere."

"Bells-"

"Don't 'Bells' me. I'm leaving. I need alcohol, and I need it now. You wanna come with?"

"Hell yeah." Rose agreed. Jake and Alice both nodded too and the three of them went to get their coats off of the fancy coat hangers next to their offices. I grabbed mine off of the back of my chair.

As we were walking out the notice caught my eye. Mount St. Helens trip - Ask Mike for deets!

I internally cringed for him. Deets? This wasn't the 90's. And he wasn't Perez Hilton, so, yeah.

But I told Jake, Ali and Rose that I was just going in to ask about it, and I'd be back out in five minutes.

I knocked quietly on the door. "Mike?"

"Come in." He said through his nostrils as I opened the door, and was immediately bombarded with the smell of stale sex, cheap beer and sweat. I fought the intense urge to gag as I shuffled my feet towards the desk, that he had is feet on - did I mention he was wearing socks with sandals?

"What is it you choose to consolidate with me, Isabella?" He said in that disgusting voice of his. He seemed to think that using larger words would make him look smarter. It just made him look like an idiot, but whatever.

"I was hoping to ask about the trip to Mount St. Helens." I stammered my way through the sentence. As soon as I opened my mouth the scent of the room bombarded my taste buds and my gag reflex. I managed to stay calm - just - for the sake of my job.

"Oh yes. Well, pop your name in the box and a winner will be chosen tomorrow."

"What about the dates? When does the winner leave? When do they get back? Where do they stay when they're there? What do they-"

"Relax, Isabella. One step at a time. I will tell the winner that tomorrow. No need for word to be spreading round the office like wildfire, making everyone jealous of the winner. You see?"

No. I do not see at all.

"Yes."

"Good. Any other questions?"

"Er...just one. Isn't it slightly dangerous for one of us to go and stay next to a volcano that is about to erupt?"

He grinned, rather creepily in my face as he took his sock-and-sandalled feet off of the desk and leaned towards me. I could smell his breath on my face and it took all the will power in me not to vomit all over his desk.

"Are you afraid of the lava?"

"Um...I think any sane person would be."

"Would the lava be to hot for you to handle?"

Oh my God. Leave. Now. Screw your job. This man is a creep!

"Um...well it would burn your face off, so yes."

"Aw poor wittle Isabewwa." He said in a baby voice. I felt bile rising in my throat. One of his slimy hands slithered across the desk cupped my tit. "Afraid of the hot, sticky lava, spurting out of a-"

"I have to go, goodbye!" I all but ran out of his office and slammed the door behind me, glad to be breathing some half-clean air and to be away from that creep.

"Bells? You look a little pale, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." My chest was heaving up and down. The smell of that room had gone to my head and so had the smell of his breath and his voice saying disgusting things and-

"Move out the way!" I all but screamed as I ran to the nearest plantpot and threw up all of my lunch into it. Rose came over to hold my hair out of the way.

"If it helps any, I put your name in for the volcano competition."

And then I proceeded to throw up again.

After I'd wiped my mouth on one of the leaves, thoroughly killing it, I turned round and was greeted by Ali holding a mint out for me to take. I took it and popped it in my mouth. "Thanks." I said, grateful.

"Now, would you mind telling us what the heck that was for?" Jake asked, shocked.

"Sure...but first, can we put this plantpot next to his door?"


Hehe. I'd love to know what you thought!

'Til next time, mis amigos

/olivia