I won't lie to you. I love Maka Albarn. Always have, always will. If I said I didn't it wouldn't be the truth and if I said she loves me back it also wouldn't be the truth. Lying will get me nowhere and pretending she needs me like I need her wont either but for some reason I can't come to terms with that. In the end I'm her weapon, I'm meant to feel used because she's meant to use me but that's not how I want to feel. I want to feel loved. Oh Maka, why can't you see that…
That morning Maka woke me instead of Blair. It made a nice change to be woken by her soft voice and not some lusty cat girl trying to seduce me yet again. I opened my eyes, surprised, to see her pretty green orbs staring back at me, she giggled and I could feel a blush starting to spread across my cheeks.
"I thought you'd never wake up!" she smiled at me and turned to go, "Breakfast is ready so hurry up and get dressed! You don't want to be late again!"
"Sure." I mumbled, still mesmerised by my amazing partner. She may not have noticed but over the past year or so Maka had really started to change. She was seventeen and her slim body was becoming curvy which fitted nicely with her already long legs. Even her boobs were bigger! Ok so not that much bigger but Black star had dared me to steal one of her bras once so that he could compare it with Tsubaki's (which he had also stolen) and she's definitely grown since the last time we did that. Her hair is still up in those cute bunches however she ties them with ribbon more often. Apart from all that though she's still the same old Maka I fell in love with all those years ago.
Later on…
Maka had run off with the other girls as soon as the bell had rung, leaving me with Black star, Kid and Crona. For a moment there was silence and confusion at their sudden absence although it didn't take long for Black star to seize the opportunity.
"Well obviously the girls have all gone to talk about their god, me, the amazing Black star!" He laughed obnoxiously loud. Crona cowered slightly in the corner and it was up to Kid to tell us the truth.
"Actually Black star I think it's more to do with the new boy Cal."
"But I'm such a big guy! Compared to me he's so little that there's no reason to even mention him!" Kid face palmed.
"He may be but he's still a new guy so he's fresh meat for single girls and let's face it he has all the right looks…" Kid started. Me and Black star stared at him in disbelief. We had always secretly suspected him to be gay but never that openly! Finally he caught on.
"No! Don't even think that! I was merely saying for the girls!" Kid desperately tried to convince the laughing Black star while Crona blushed in his corner. He was right though, Cal was a typical blonde haired, blue eyes girl magnet and it was only his second day. I needed to be cautious though, lots of boys had been going after Maka recently and it hadn't been an easy job keeping them all away from her. She didn't even realise but guys would even come to me asking for advice on her. Of course there was only one answer. Forget about her, it's not worth it. That wasn't how I felt, I would never forget about here because she was worth more to me than anything else ever but so long as it kept other guys who might use or hurt her away then it was a fine excuse.
"Hey Soul, that Cal sounds like such a nerd! Maybe Maka will decide to go out with Cal and finally find the perfect nerd match!" Black star laughed, slapping me on the back. As the realisation of what he said sunk in and my face must have dropped and from the surprised looks I was getting from Kid and Crona I'm pretty sure it did. I didn't want that to happen, I'd lose Maka for sure! Cal had never met the younger, flat chested, moody Maka that we all knew so he'd have no reason to hold back and if they were a perfect match then of course she'd say yes. I needed to tell her. The sooner I do the less likely she is to reject me right…?
"Damn." I whispered.
"What?" Kid smirked, "I think someone has a thing for a certain green eyed bookworm." Black star looked shocked and horrified.
"What's this?!" He managed to get out. I faced away with embarrassment to hide my burning blush. "Soul, tell me this isn't true!" Kid sighed.
"Don't tell me you haven't at all noticed Black star…"
"Of course I have! Your god knows everything! I just…er..."
Suddenly Crona laughed, pulling me back to the group. It was often Crona laughed, especially with such happiness and as he did a look of delight spread across Kid's face. He so is gay, no matter what he says.
"Well Crona what is it that you need to steal my spotlight?" Black star asked, a faint trace of relief on the edge of his voice.
"Uh…Well it's j-just that I um, I knew…" Crona said now nervous at the attention he had attracted. "When I-I last came round…Well you kept looking at Maka with this um, shiny eyed look…" I was caught off guard by that. Crona was the last person I expected to figure it out because usually he 'didn't know how to deal with these things'.
"So Soul, you've been awfully quiet," Kid said, "maybe you'd like to tell us the truth so that we can clear all this up?" I sighed, not really wanting to explain my feelings to anyone but Maka.
"Yes ok. I love Maka, big deal." Kid gave me a quizzical look. "What else do you want me to say? I've liked her since we met. I've never known how to tell her. I don't want to ruin our partnership. I'm a pathetic excuse for a man because every time she smiles at me I lose and melt and want to just hold her to me…"
"That will do!" Blackstar interrupted, "I don't want to know too much detail!" I laughed.
"It's ok because I don't want to explain it anymore!" We all smiled for a moment although the moment broke when Kids frowned at something behind me.
When I turned round she was there, the girl I loved dearly, clustered round another guy with a group of girls including Tsubaki, Liz and Patty. The guy in question was of course Cal, just as Kid had suspected and for some reason it made me angry. The sudden hate for a boy I'd never really met began to bubble up inside me but I knew what it was. It was jealousy. Maka, MY Maka, was with another guy who didn't deserve her company, instead of me. Shit, I'm starting to sound just like Spirit now, not good!
Behind me Kid coughed to get the attention of Liz and Patty but also I think to show Cal that he had status. It worked well and Liz and Patty went to kid, Liz blushing and patty laughing manically. Tsubaki looked down like she'd done something wrong but Maka's brow just creased up and she looked at me with annoyance.
"Yes Soul? What do you want?" She asked harshly. I was taken aback, I hadn't even spoken and she was already angry at me, just for being there when she didn't need me. Cal stepped forward and rested his hand on Makas shoulder,
"Who is this guy?" he asked.
"Just a friend." She said, a blush spreading on her face from her closeness to Cal. Her words stung. Just a friend. I wasn't just her friend, I was her partner, her weapon, I loved her. So angrily I corrected her.
"I'm her weapon, so just another nobody to her." I turned to Maka, "I don't want anything from you so you don't have to always act like a bitch to me, I haven't even done anything wrong for fucks sake! Whatever, I don't care, just go back to flirting 'cause I can tell your enjoying it from the pathetic look on your face." And with that said I walked away, head down, hands balled into fists in my pockets and heart completely crushed in defeat. Maka Albarn; the girl I loved had once again pushed me away for the sake of another guy.
I walked out of the main entrance of the DWMA and down the stairs to where my bike was parked. Without looking back I drove off, not planning where I was going but just trying to get away. I stopped somewhere in the desert, tired and low on petrol.
I sat down on the sand and closed my eyes. I didn't care anymore…
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