Haven't made or read a ZADR in a while. I've been missing this fandom.
Fuck you, Zim. Why the hell do you do this to me? Why do you make me feel so compelled to watch you, to be near you, to touch you? Why the hell do you do that?
I was perfectly content with hunting Bigfoot until you showed up. I mean, honestly, I was excited in the beginning. I couldn't wait to have a new target for my interest.
I did not expect a target like you.
The first time I saw you, I felt a shiver go up my spine. I told myself that it was because I was excited to meet my new enemy, but deep down, we all know what that really was, looking back.
Every time you would glare at me, I would almost smile back. Dirty looks and foul language became our form of hugs and kisses. This was our own version of flirting.
When Tak came along, she almost ruined us. She broke our patterns, and came in-between our glares. She almost finished the job that you'd started, of trying to destroy the Earth. Of course we had to put an end to that. This was our game; we needed no other players.
Every move either of us made were not for the obvious goals, but to test the other's reaction. Whenever a stalemate would be reached, we'd just continue on in a different direction.
As time passed, you changed. You were less careful. You almost let me win, which shows how low your guard was. You'd leave something obvious undone, like leaving your wig or contacts at home.
As disturbing as it may seem to others, you grew more appealing to me every time that I saw you. Green became the color of my fantasies, and boy were there plenty. I couldn't go a day without seeing you. If you were missing from class, I would find a way to sneak into your house and see you there. Gir was always helpful with that.
Even when we grew older, we were closer than we should have been. When I would leave town, you would follow (even though you never admitted to it). When I left for college, you decided that my campus would be the perfect base for destroying the world.
The first time you ever kissed me is when I realized how far I was over my head. We were facing off, staring at each other, when suddenly, it was no longer a gaze of hate, but one of…affection. And then you closed the small gap, drawing your face into mine. That night escalated, from both of our first kisses to first everything.
Waking up in the morning was definitely an 'Oh shit' moment. You were still sleeping, glaring at your dreams. And I was watching you, thinking 'how the hell did this happen.' Then, with a yawn, you turned over and opened your eyes. You put your hand up to my face and smiled, before returning to your dreams.
From that moment on, it was our secret. Nobody ever noticed anything, because everyone was as stupid as they were in middle school. During the days we fought, and at night, you would come home to me. Some nights would be sex, while others were just being there, holding each other.
This is not a life that I would have chosen for myself. Dad had always encouraged me to find a beautiful woman to settle down with, and to make a family with. But dad obviously did not know that 'beautiful' didn't just apply to women: it applied to every curve and line on Zim's body, to every moan or whisper he made, to every smile or glare to light up his face. The need for all the little things was overwhelming.
Even as more time passed, even when college was over and real life began, you followed me. We stopped staying apart, stopped acting in front of people. We were a couple; one that was psychotic, and another with a weird skin condition. Our 'dog' Gir followed us everywhere.
One day, I was gone for a meeting. When I returned home that night, it was cold and dark. You weren't there, but a note in your handwriting was.
Tallest have recalled us. Move on, forget me. I won't be back. This is permanent. I miss you. I…love you, Dib. See you in the stars.
And you were right. You weren't back. I waited, and tried to move on. Believe me, I tried hard. But, Zim, once a person goes Irken, they can't go back, because nothing is even remotely similar. The Irken are rough, hard, with gentle tones to it as well. It was indescribable…but it left everything else bland, gray. Nothing like green.
So, my dear, this brings us to our starting point, does it not? Fuck you. Fuck you with every piece of me there is left that can feel. Fuck you until there is no way out, no escape from it. Fuck you until you can feel this pain coming from me, wherever you are.
Fuck you for making me love you like this.
See you in the stars, huh? We'll see about that.
Thoughts, comments, questions, interpretive dance? That all goes in the reviews, which hopefully one you nice, lovely, smart readers will do.
