Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

This is part of my Ibiki pairings series, and I had a lot of fun writing it. It's Ibiki/Sakura, and it's AU. Enjoy!


"Sir, would you like to buy some girl scout cookies?"

This line was shouted from behind Ibiki's closed door. He'd been minding his own business, working on an important file, when the knocking started. He'd ignored it, but the girl scouts must have seen his light on under his apartment door or something, because they hadn't gone away. Ibiki had plenty of patience, however, and was prepared to wait them out. Finally, in frustration, the girl behind his door had started yelling for him to open the door and buy some cookies.

"Sir, just open your door. I promise you I'll go away if you hand me twenty bucks. I'll fill out the order form myself. I'll throw an extra box in, please, and they won't be those shitty lemon things either, they'll be Thin Mints, I promise. Please!"

Ibiki started whistling under his breath.

"Please, I need to sell one more box. One more box! My sister forced me into this, and I'll never here the end of it if you don't buy it. I know you're there! Open the door!"

Ibiki strode over to his coffee-maker and started making a fresh cup.

"Open the fucking door, you asshole!"

Ibiki sipped his coffee.

"I'm going to murder you, you jerk!"

Ibiki opened the newspaper and started reading.

"Go to hell!"

Ibiki sat back in his chair, smiling.

"Just buy a damn cookie!"

He finished reading the comics and thumbed through the classifieds.

"I bet you're a perv, aren't you? Buy a cookie and I'll give you a blow-job!"

Ibiki glanced toward the door, thought for a moment, and shook his head. Not worth it.

"One box! I'd buy it myself, but I don't have the money. My sister wants enough to buy a bike, and she's one box short. We don't have the money otherwise. Her troupe leader is retiring next year, and she won't have another chance."

Ibiki sighed a little and stood up. "I'm not going to eat the cookies, you know."

He opened the door and saw a petite woman with pink hair, probably in her early twenties. She was a foot shorter than his, and her emerald eyes looked up at him.

"You better not be lying," he grumbled. "i'll find you and rip the damn money out of your throat if you are."

Her face lit up. "I'm not, I swear! Thank you so much! I've harassed this entire apartment complex, and you're the only one who would buy anything!"

"I told you, I'm not actually going to eat them."

"I don't blame you, I don't like any of them. This is for my sister."

"Yeah, yeah," grumbled Ibiki, filling out the form. "This price is ridiculous."

"Totally. They raised the price to fourteen dollars. Greedy little shits." The girl let out a long breath, running her hands through her hair before holding her hand out in a potential handshake. "Sakura Haruno."

"Ibiki Morino." He shook her hand and marveled at how much larger he was. She was tiny compared to him.

Would you like to come in for a minute? I'm sure you're tired."

"Don't you know? I'm not supposed to talk to strangers."

"I'm not a stranger. I'm buying your cookies, aren't I?"

She looked at him suspiciously. "You're not trying to redeem that blow-job offer, are you? Because I'm not sure I'm willing to lower myself to that level after all."

"I promise I'm not." chuckled Ibiki. "Although you should refrain from making those comments to just anyone."

"Are you just anyone?"

"You'll have to decide that for yourself."


Reviews! :)