Disclaimer: keeping in mind that plagiarism is the greatest form of flattery... I do not own OUAT, or anything Disney, I do not profit in any way or form (it's swanqueen for the sake of swanqueen). I own nothing so please do not bother to sue.

Warnings for language and maybe some indecency.

Author's Note: Totally and completely off cannon

This is a sort of sequel to "Once Upon a Magic What?!" but can be read as a stand alone. This is a bit Maleficent centric, but it is swanqueen all the way (OTP people). Regina and Mal however have a deep friendship and, Regina, Ruby and Cora will open a business together! Aren't you excited? Regina is not...

Main pairings: Swanqueen; Cora/Rumple; Ruby/Belle; Hook/Tinkerbelle; Grumpy/Nova; Snow/Charming and a few surprises...

Author's (serious) Note: This work does not mean any disrespect for anyone that identifies as Therian\otherkin\mythkin.

A Happy Ending for a Dragon

Regina woke up tangled in pale limbs and blond hair. "Do you really have to go?"came the whined question, Her saviour was kind of cute when she was insecure. Smiling she said "We both have work to do Miss Swan, not to mention a son that needs breakfast...besides I shouldn't run late, dragons are not early risers and I need to talk to Mal before she comes here in the afternoon to get the project ready"

She knew Emma was still stubbornly jealous of Maleficent, despite her best assurances, so she made a point of scheduling her meetings with the dragon just before lunch or at her home office in the evenings Emma was off shift, so the blond could see for herself that nothing was ever going to happen. She was thankful that Maleficent respected their relationship abstaining herself from comments or teasing remarks (in front of Emma) that she knew she was just dying to make. Anyway, she more than compensated by in all good nature mocking Regina when they were alone.

Emma sighed and Regina admonished "Oh don't be like that dear... You know you are my true love" but Emma just held her closer "I know, I know.. it's just you guys have a history and she is annoyingly single" she could feel the brunette's body shaking with laughter "Who knows maybe Mal will find someone some day. know I did. Besides, right now she is focusing on her relationship with Lily." the former queen said, while running her fingers through blond tresses and with a quick peck on her lips "Now, up Miss Swan!". She didn't notice the light bulb going off on her wife's head. Emma had a sudden revelation... She was in the happy-end-business after all, she just needed to get the dragon a happy end of her own.

Regina arrived just in the nick of time to meet Maleficent at the town hall. The woman was wearing her signature dress suit with big diva sunglasses "Why on earth did you insist in this ungodly hour I don't know" Regina smiled at her friend "Whats the matter dear? don't tell me you don't rise and shine" she chided, Maleficent just huffed " Darling, you know perfectly well that I don't". Regina just smiled "That is why I am just going to give you the final papers and we can discuss this in the afternoon. I apologize, but with my meeting schedule today, it was the only option"

Maleficent grinned "Oh, I bet the little dragon hater loved it" it's never too early for a biting remark, at least in her opinion, "She is not a dragon hater" Regina rose to the bait with a tinge of warning in her voice making the Dragon concede "Alright, our little super saviour then." suddenly an image of an speedy gonzalez-esque Emma came to mind - the consequences of watching cartoons with her son.

Her smile didn't go unnoticed "Hmm... don't tell me you two did anything at these hours.. Frankly Regina how do you keep up? I mean you could be her grand..." to which Regina quickly snapped "Don't you dare finish that sentence dear." They were both smiling, loving their little fight "besides, you shouldn't be the one to talk about age differences. You have quite a few ahead of me, not to mention on your sleepy little project" they both burst out laughing "I am a dragon. You know perfectly well age is different" to which Regina casually replied " oh hush dear, you don't look a day over a century" the dragon faked a mock-hurt flair and they parted ways.

Emma's day was going slow as always when times where peaceful in Storybrooke. Chase Pongo return to Archie, chase Leroy return to Nova... rinse and repeat. On eventful days there was the odd cat on a tree, return a drunk Hook to Tinkerbelle, or return a drunk Tinkerbelle to Hook, and on special occasions drop both their drunk behinds on the Jolly Roger.

They were a perfect match, they even kept score...these last 2 months Hook was winning 7-4, but then again, Tink had confided in her that she was purposely reducing because they had been talking about maybe starting a family once Tink's tattoo shop Fairytale Inktook off.

The sheriff went for her mid-morning break to Grannies.

Ruby greeted her with her usual coffee and bear claw "Hi Emms, how busy are you today? I am meeting your mother-in-law in the afternoon, wanna join?" Emma laughed "Oh sure Rubes, why not?" Ruby smiled "We just have to choose a location, both Granny and Belle forbade us to use the facilities for our meeting and I am not comfortable doing it on Rumple's shop" Emma couldn't agree more, she couldn't even imagine how the imp felt about the whole thing.

Then the second brilliant thought of the day came to mind "Hey, you can use one of the back-rooms at the station if you want. There's really nothing going on, the interrogation room is always empty and cells have become more like Grumpy's daycare center when Nova is with the fairies" the werewolf rushed to hug her "Thanks! You're the best!" earning the cryptic reply "Well I think I might need to enlist your help for a little matter of my own, so I need to be able to call in a favor" and the wolf's smile just grew wider, already knowing from Emma's look that whatever it was it would be promising for a bit of fun!

They had set everything Ruby brought at the station when Cora arrived at the station "Emma, thank you for providing us with a place to meet today. I had proposed the pawn shop as a last resort, but well, I was having trouble convincing Ruby" Emma laughed and the wolf defended herself " Hey given that he is THE Dark One, our history isn't exactly the best...plus he isn't overjoyed with the idea" Cora simply huffed "Trust me dear, he will come around to it. Specially since he has no other choice" with a grin that made Ruby and Emma share a look, what could be scarier than the the former Dark one? Said Dark One's wife...

They spend hours going over merchandise of all sort and kinds, plus samples of Cora's erotic balms and minor spells with had been pre-approved by Regina. The business was going to start online and the merchandise divided between one of the pawn shop's back-rooms and a small unused bedroom at the inn. They were so immersed in the conversation that neither notice that one of Cora's balms had leaked into a box, as they left the room.

They had been chatting by the coffee machine when Charming entered, ready to relieve his daughter from her shift, he greeted them and went to the back to get changed, when he heard a strange noise coming from the interview room...

Ruby had been explaining their storage problem, since storing everything at the inn made a certain imp uncomfortable that his wife would be regularly going to in a room with the wolf. And to that, Cora could sympathize giving the whole Belle situation. On the other hand, storing everything in the pawnshop made both Regina and Gold uneasy albeit for different reasons.

They had just changed subject and Cora was explaining to Emma the origin of some balms and potions when the heard a shriek from the back and saw Charming racing franticly towards them shouting "AHH! Get your gun! Get your gun! Get your gun!" He was frantic, disheveled and out of breath "Dad what the hell happened?" Emma asked her voice full of concern, but he just panted between ragged breaths "Jumping Jonhsons! Dancing Dildoes!" They all rushed to the interview room when they saw what seemed the Silicon Uprising... They ducked and swatted away the possessed toys until they could see which bottle had spilled over so Cora could stop the madness.

After a quick muttered spell that put everything back to normal, Cora pulled out a notepad and scribbled muttering ... do not use enchanted wood lotion on silicon... And the three burst out laughing, until they collectively recalled they had to tell Regina.

They returned to assure Charming it was over and everything was back to normal.