A/N: CHAPTER 1 HAS BEEN UPDATED

updated on 6-18-07

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A/N: I 'd like to take this moment to praize my beta, Georgia aka shiznats. Thanks for all your help mate!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything…

Story's Beta: Georgia (shiznats)

Shadow of a Heart
(Chapter 1)

"We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them.
We say we love trees, yet we cut them down.
And some people still wonder why some are afraid
when they are told they are loved."
-Unknown

After the carnival things seemed to settle down. The ex-hime's lives were slowly going back to normal. Mai, Mikoto and Natsuki were sharing an apartment on the outskirts of Fuuka Academy. Mai and Natsuki were going to graduate soon, entering both in the senior year, as for Mikoto, she was about to begin her 8th grade. Shizuru had graduated with her class and was now attending the prestigious Fuuka University.

Thick tension began to engulf Natsuki and Shizuru's relationship. What was once just slightly awkward moments had rapidly morphed into an uncomfortable atmosphere for both women. Naturally they began to drift apart; Natsuki started spending more time with her new roommates and friends, Mai and Mikoto, while Shizuru's time was now occupied with her college classes.

This separation between the two started to become almost unbearably for the Kyoto-ben woman. After a lot of thinking, Shizuru decided to welcome the change, but as time when on jealousy began to engulf her. She thought that it would be better for both of them, if she would move on, if she would separate herself further, but in the back of her mind she was shattering into tiny fragments of herself.

Secretly, Natsuki took Shizuru's absence extremely hard, though her pride never let it show.

'Shizuru's.. left me..' Shizuru's abandonment had completely destroyed what was left of Natsuki's fragile heart. Ever since the day that she left, Natsuki had become a depressed and angry person, aggravating those inside feelings.

Mai, being as perceptive as ever, became worried about her friend's rapidly mounting depression, but she was unaware of the events that took place between Natsuki and the ex-kaichou. Mai saw everything: the betrayal, the heartache, the regret and the sorrow that surrounded the two himes, and she decided to bring a smile to her friend's face, even if it was the last thing she did.

"Maiiii, how much longer?? I'm starving!" Mikoto's child-like voice echoed through the apartment, her pleading eyes gazing longingly at the dinner that Mai was currently preparing.

"Oh Mikoto, just give me one moment, it's almost ready…" Mai paused and looked over her shoulder to the living room, "Umm, Natsuki would you mind setting the table?" Returning to her task Mai was busy trying to finish as quick as can the large meal, hoping to satisfy the youngest among them.

"No." came the blunt response from the blue haired girl. Natsuki was facing one of the white walls, wearing a blank expression on her face. Mai, assuming that Natsuki was still in one of her moods, didn't wanted to surrender so easily.

"Mou, Natsuki please, I could really use some extra help." She was talking to the girl, while pulling the food out of the stove while trying to avoid burning herself.

"Fine!" Natsuki abruptly pushed herself off the couch and went to help the overwhelmed redhead. She flings open the cabinet and retrieves three plates and glasses. Then she arranged them on the table. She sat down in the closest seat and waited impatiently, arms crossed over her chest.

"Mikoto, please, just go, sit down and I promise I'll bring the food in a minute." Mai told the small girl while carrying a large bowl of food in one hand and three pairs of chopsticks in the other. Mikoto saw the serious look Mai was giving to her and, not wanting to upset her most important person, decided to go along with Mai's wish and sat down not as quietly as she wanted to.

Natsuki placed her elbows on the table and leaned her head on her hands. Her emerald green eyes were clouded with all kind of thoughts, as she stared off into nothingness. Moments later Mai returned to the table with the rest of the food and joined them. After a few minutes they began a little conversation:

"And then he was like…Natsuki? Natsuki, what's wrong?" Mai asked once she noticed that the cobalt-haired woman was ignoring her and she had yet to touch her food.

"Hmm, oh, umm nothing... Just.. Um, thinking, I guess... " Natsuki picked up her chopsticks and proceeded to push her food on the plate. She slowly realized that she didn't even feel hungry.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mai asked, her eyes filled with concern.

"Nah, it's nothing.. I'm kinda tired.. Um, I think I'll go to bed…" Natsuki picked up her plate and looked over at Mikoto:

"Hey brat, you want it?" Natsuki grumbled before Mai had a chance to reply, Mikoto's squeal of delight squashed any hopes Mai had of communicating with the blue-haired beauty. Natsuki had turned and walked to her room without another word, leaving a concerned Mai staring at her retreating form and a hungry beast devouring her leftovers.

When Natsuki reached her room, she closed the door and went to her closet to change into her sleep clothes. Once she was done, she turned off the lights and sunk into her bed, covering her head with an extra pillow. Against her will, her mind started to drift away.

'alone..' a distant voice echoed in her head.

'you are all alone again…' the soft silky voice in her head echoed again, the sound seemed to be coming closer.

'but this time, it was all your fault…' it was getting louder.

'You allowed yourself to be vulnerable in front of her.. you trusted her.. and for what?!' the voice was so close to her ears, it seemed to be filled with pain and anger.

'You lost her, it's your fault, and now you have nothing left.. you are all alone..' Natsuki's eyes suddenly opened, her face twisted into an expression of pain as recent memories flooded through her aching head.

TBC…

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A/N

Ok so that's the first chapter, I'll see if I can get more up tomorrow if you guys say you like it, so R&R!

Much love,

John