Sometimes I try to hard to be happy. I look like a doll: porcelain skin, red curly hair, bright green eyes. I sound like a doll: quite, timid, soft, lilting voice, a laugh like little tinkling bells, soft sighs to my self. I act like a doll: super still, never speaks unless spoken to, easy to manipulate. I am not a doll. I, unlike dolls, don't break the moment I hit the floor or am "played with" to roughly. I don't take everything with a smile on my face. I don't get up fairly easily after, well, anything. My name is Clarissa Morgenstern. I am sixteen years old, turning seventeen in four months and fifteen days. My brother plays with me and my mother neglects me. My grades are C- or lower and I get beaten for it. But no one knows about that. That side of me is hidden, locked away deep inside where nothing can see it in the light of day. At night when the stars illuminate the earth, that's when that side is seen. But no one sees it and no one cares. Survival of the fittest in this world right? Well, I guess I'm not the fittest because I'm barely surviving. But who cares right? I'm just the girl next door, just the super smart girl who doesn't talk in class, just the invisible girl in the hallway you accidentally run into and don't apologize to. I'm just another story that isn't worth getting to know. Yeah that's me. Another bulletin board sob story. These bruises all over my wrist and arms? I fell down the steps. I'm limping? Oh, well, I sprained my ankle yesterday on my jog. I'm too thin and my BMI is severely underweight, almost eating disorder low? I exercise more than I eat. Don't look at me, don't talk to me. I'm not worth your time and effort. But through it all, I plaster a smile to my face and lie through my teeth to get out of uncomfortable questions about how I got my bruises asked by the nurse. I smile and pretend because that's what I do best. But I guess, do what you do best, right? No. Fuck life. I quit.
Well that was chapter one of my new TMI story, Of Dark Corners and Crevices! This is not how the whole story will be. This is just giving you an inside look on Clary's outlook on life. There will be dialogue and the other characters will be in it. My updating schedule should be getting more consistent now that I got my first phone! Yay! I'm 15 and my first phone is not even allowed by my parents, it's a secret! Yay go being a rebel! Anyways hope you enjoyed!
~SomethingWithDemons
