I own nothing from the Harry Potter Universe

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Sirius Black was astonished. Astounded. Incredulous.

And to be perfectly honest, a little turned on.

As his fingers quickly turned the pages of the old, battered, notebook sitting on his lap, his mouth first gaped in surprise, then widened into an appreciative smirk as his eyes devoured the naughty writings in front of him. Slowly closing the notebook, he ran a calloused hand over his handsome features as a bark of laughter escaped his beautiful mouth.

Lily Evans, prude extraordinaire, wrote erotica. More importantly, Lily Evans, the walking chastity belt, wrote hot erotica.

Another bark of hilarity fled his lips as the events responsible for this priceless tidbit of knowledge replayed in his mind.

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Sirius Black smirked beneath the anonymity provided by his best friend's, James Potter, invisibility cloak. His gaze drifted lazily over the few students strewn about the library as he waited for his opportunity to strike. Twenty minutes, that was how long he had lost, languishing beneath the slippery material of the cloak, waiting for his chance to return the tome he and his friends had 'borrowed' from the Restricted Section of the library. Gazing longingly at the sun shining brightly through the dust filled air of the library, he wondered irritatingly why anyone would waste away their day in this den of ennui when there was mischief and mayhem just waiting to be executed. Letting out a soft snort of aversion, he answered his own question: They were losers, every last one of them. Ten feet to his right sat the group of Ravenclaws, their backs hunched over their parchments and tomes, their hands scribbling furiously over the pages. They were pitiable, every last one of them. Well, perhaps not Winifred Blanders, but that was only 'cause she had a nice rack.

Then there was the small group of Hufflepuffs bemoaning their lack of mental acumen on the other side of the room. Honestly, what poor blighter couldn't brew a Cleverness Concoction?

Ahhhh… And then there was the redhead chick… Evans or something, the one Prongs was always bitching about. Sirius rolled his eyes as he was reminded off all the times his best mate would harp on and on about 'pretentious' and 'priggish' Evans. Whenever he was subjected to yet another Evans rant, both he and Moony would roll their eyes at each other and secretly snigger at their friend's ill-concealed infatuation. They both knew that when their friend yelled out "Evans, I don't know if you noticed, but your wand is lodged up your arse," he really meant "Evans, I'm madly in lust with you. Please jump my bones." What a bloody wanker. A great friend, but a bloody wanker (when it came to Evans).

Sirius was abruptly ripped from his musings as he heard the table of Ravenclaws pack up their parchment. Thank gods, he had started to think their arses had grown roots to the wooden seats. Quickly taking the occasion presented by the noise of their mass exodus, he dexterously replaced the purloined copy of 'Charms for the Criminally Deviant' and made his way away from the Restricted Section, careful not to raise any suspicion. In fact, he was so concentrated on not being seen by the small group of Hufflepuffs that he could barely contain his gasp of shock as his foot became ensnared by the long strap of Evans' bag lying pooled on the floor. Letting out and barely audible 'Shite', he cursed a second time as the contents of the bag rolled out onto the highly polished wood floor. Holding his breath slightly, he quickly glanced to his right, fully prepared to Obliviate Evans, only to find her conveniently gone. Her bright hair was visible across the room, where she was engaged in quiet conversation with the librarian. Smiling at his good luck, he went to continue his getaway when something caught his eye. Beneath a few broken quills and an old bottle of ink that had fallen from Evans' bag, lay a notebook that had a funny little lock on it. Sirius' eyebrows creased slightly as he wondered what boring ol' Evans could possibly need a locked notebook for…

Without even a fleeting feeling of guilt, he snatched up the book and made his way for the door…

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Lily Evans gaped at the small pile of her belongings strewn about the floor of her workspace. Blinking her eyes dumbly, her gaze wandered over the broken quills, the old bottle of ink, and an old gum wrapper she had been too lazy to throw away.

But no notebook.

It was gone.

Vanished!

Slamming her eyes shut and attempting to stave off hyperventilating, Lily Evans swallowed convulsively. Had someone taken it? No. No, of course not. She must have left it somewhere. Jerking herself violently from her stupor, she clamored to stuff her meager belongings into her old leather satchel.

The Common Room, she must have left it in the Common Room!

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Sirius laughed as his friend, Remus Lupin, known as Moony to his friends, finished telling him the dirty joke he had picked up from another sixth year student. Indolently resting his leg on the table in front of the Common Room couch, Sirius flicked his long, shiny hair from out of his striking eyes as he grinned, both at his friend's joke and the surprising event of the day. Before he had joined his friends in front of the roaring fire in the Common Room, he had first quickly hidden the pilfered notebook in his trunk. Still quite astounded at the revelation of Evans' hitherto undiscovered depravity, he had decided to conceal the disclosure for a while, eager to see the redhead squirm.

Torn from his amusing thoughts suddenly as the portrait to the Gryffindor Common Room slammed open, he could barely contain his mirth as the normally stoic and composed Lily Evans tore through the room, frantically checking under couch cushions and inspecting the floor beneath the furniture.

"Wha… Look at Evans, she looks like she has the devil on her tail." Remus said quietly, cocking his head to the side in contemplation of the girl's startling behavior.

Glancing to his left, he chuckled slightly at the glazed look on his other friend's, James, face as he took in Evans' tousled state.

Not one to let an opportunity to tease Lily pass, James spoke up. "Evans, you look right hassled. Did you lose your sanity as well as your pride when I trounced you on the last Transfiguration test?"

Rearing her head at the sound of her most loathed tormenter 's voice, her eyes widened at being caught in such a state by the most popular boys in school, as if they needed more ammo to mock her with.

"Don't be an idiot, Prongs," Remus piped up, "She's probably got her knickers in a knot because she's finally realized that it was you who put that itching powder in her shoes last week."

"Ah, yes," James said, smiling at the reminder of one of his many Lily-pranks, "That was quite inspired…"

"Oooh, shut up! The both of you, just shut up!" Lily said, not needing a reminder of last week's agony on top of the trauma of losing her notebook of naughty writing.

"Methinks we've angered the beast," Sirius said, smiling at her wail of anger.

Ignoring their jibes, she continued her frantic search, growing more desperate with each passing moment.

"What'd you lose?" Peter asked, speaking up for the first time.

"I hope it wasn't your Transfiguration essay," James said, his eyes following the sway of her backside as she struggled to check under one of the free-standing bookshelves, "You can't afford any slip-ups in that one." He loved to tease her about Transfiguration, it made him go all tingly when she glared at him.

"Don't be absurd, Prongs," Sirius said, "Evans losing homework? Why, she would just as likely make the quidditch team, or tell Flitwick to shove it, or… write erotica."

Lily stilled her frantic movements as Sirius' words washed over her. Turning slowly, her eyes widened in horror as she saw Sirius' mouth twist in devilish satisfaction.

Oh gods.

No.

Please, not him.

ANYONE but him.