Rating: T
Spoilers: The Return for SGA and the End of S3 for Dr Who
Pairings: Numerous
Summary: The Ancients built a machine that manipulates entropy, causing coincidence and Sod's Law. Stargate Command has one-half and Torchwood has the other so chaos ensues when the SGC has to work together with the Doctor and Torchwood to find out what has gone wrong.
Disclaimer: I own none of Dr Who, Torchwood or Stargate. Delilah Stirling and her mad family belong to me, Lydia belongs to BiteMeTechie, Max to Elizabeth Bartlett and Crysta to NenyaVilyaNenya, and they let me borrow them. The manipulating entropy idea I got from Jasper Fforde.
Authors Notes: Ok this is going to be very confusing to both sets of readers. This is something that came to mind after a couple of drinks and a rough night. Just bare with me, I hope it will be worth it.
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"That's odd," said the Doctor
"What?" asked Captain Jack Harkness
"The Tardis is going off course" the Doctor replied
"Oh surprise," grouched Martha Jones
"Doctor I'm supposed to be back in Cardiff this afternoon" said Jack
"And it's my nephew's birthday, I'm supposed to be dropping a present off at Leo's" added Martha
"And you'll be there as soon as I've figured out what's going on" retorted the Doctor. Jack and Martha sighed in disgust and sat in the crew chairs
"Typical" said Martha
"Entropy" said the Doctor
"Huh?" replied Jack
"There's slight entropy field in the Southern counties of England, Hampshire to be precise," said the Doctor
"What's entropy?" asked Martha
"High levels of it cause coincidence and what you humans call Sod's Law, for instance if you walk through an entropy field, the heels on your shoes would break or you'd ladder your tights or meet an old flame who you were thinking about earlier" replied the Doctor.
"Oh" said Martha "so there really is an explanation for why everything goes wrong when your alarm fails to go off" the Doctor chuckled
"Yeah, look out we're going to land" he said.
Dr Delilah Stirling was sitting on the wall surrounding her parent's rose garden, making the most of the sunshine to carry on with the drawing she planned to take back to the SGC with her. She had been part of the Atlantis project for the last year or so but the Ancients had returned and booted them out, she had spent the last couple of months at home catching up with family and friends but soon she would have to return to Colorado. The SGC wanted her to use the programme she had spent a year preparing to make accurate calendars for many of the off world bases. A strong wind began to blow, she looked up and saw a phone box materialise
"Bloody Rodney" she said with a sigh and went back to her drawing. In the Tardis, The Doctor, Jack and Martha clustered around the viewing screen
"Not a murmur, no open-mouthed amazement, no screaming, nothing all she did was look up, roll her eyes and carry on doing...whatever it is she's doing," said the Doctor, clearly annoyed.
"Is she an old companion?" asked Jack
"No, I'd remember someone with hair that colour," said the Doctor
"So why don't we go and say hello?" said Martha as she headed for the door.
Delilah heard the door of the phone box open
"Rodney, I know you're a fan of Bill and Ted but this is going too far, even for you," she said, without looking up
"Ah, I'm not Rodney," said the Doctor. Delilah looked up and smiled
"I can see that" she looked past the Doctor and his companions and took in the blue box "different, so is he in there?"
"Who" asked the Doctor in confusion
"Rodney, Dr Rodney McKay" she said.
"No, I..." he started
"Radek Zelenka?" the Doctor shook his head "Bill Lee?" he shook his head again "Sam Carter?" she asked
"There's a name I've heard before," murmured Jack to Martha
"Thor?" asked Delilah in desperation.
"I'm on my own," the Doctor yelled
"Alright, so you're not the SGC" Delilah yelled back
"You know of Stargate Command?" said Jack, Delilah looked at him in surprise
"The worrying thing is that you do" she replied guardedly.
"We've been trying to negotiate with them for a couple of months but all we've been getting is static and abuse" Jack replied with a grin
"Who's 'we'?" she asked
"Torchwood, I'm Captain Jack Harkness" he said, Delilah's eyes widened and an amused smirk touched her mouth
"Oh so you're Jack Harkness" she said
"You've heard of me? I heard you mention Sam Carter," he asked
"Apparently she has a clay doll with a lock of your hair pressed into it which she jabs pins into every morning" said Delilah. Jack laughed
"Ouch, we have traded more than a few insults in the past" Jack stuck out his hand "so now we've established credentials, Miss..."
"Stirling, Doctor Delilah Stirling, astronomer" she said as she shook Jack's hand,
"Now there's a coincidence," murmured the Doctor to Martha.
"That entropy field thing?" she asked, the Doctor nodded, Jack grinned at Delilah
"Should I be worried by your name?" he said, she smiled back flirtatiously,
"Your hair's not long enough flyboy" she replied. Martha chuckled
"Jack" the Doctor said warningly
"And your friends? Are they Torchwood too, I thought you'd all been destroyed in the Canary Wharf thing" Delilah said
"I'm the Doctor, she's Martha, we don't work for Torchwood and it seems Cardiff is all that's left," replied the Doctor. Delilah shook Martha's hand
"Lucky girl" she said with a wink, Martha smiled back
"I'm not so sure" she replied conspiratorially, she liked the older woman.
"Hey" said Jack and the Doctor
"Delilah, hey Delilah" she turned to see a teenage girl running towards them
"What?" she yelled back. The girl bent over and breathed deeply
"Give me a bloody minute will you" she got her breath back "ok, Dr McKay's been on the phone again" Delilah sighed
"Tell him I died" she replied
"I did but he said you'd used that excuse three times already," said the girl
"Ah" Delilah said
"So I told him you'd been assimilated by the Borg," the girl said. Delilah burst out laughing along with Jack and Martha
"What did he say to that?" Delilah asked
"He said unless you'd turned into Seven of Nine, he wasn't going to believe that either so I said you'd call him back," she said
"Thanks" Delilah replied. The girl eyed the Doctor, Jack and Martha
"Friends of yours?" she asked, emphasising the 'friends'.
"I've never met these people before but he's the Doctor, she's Martha and he's Jack, this here is my niece Katie" said Delilah.
"I've seen you before?" said Martha to Katie
"Yeah, I was going to say the same thing to you, do you study at St Martin-in-the-Fields?" Katie asked
"No, the Royal Hope Hospital" replied Martha. Katie snapped her fingers and pointed
"That's it, Sally Jenkins' party, you told the joke about the one legged jockey" she said, Martha blushed
"And you sang that really sad song about leaving home" said Martha.
"Dirty jokes Martha? Said Jack with a leer
"I'll tell you one day" she replied
"So what happened to that bloke who was handcuffed to the kitchen sink?" asked Katie as she and Martha wandered back towards the house
"Martha" yelled the Doctor and Jack
"Later" she called back.
"Well what are the odds of that?" remarked Delilah
"I don't know but the odds are dropping rapidly," said the Doctor
"Entropy again?" questioned Jack
"Looks like it" replied the Doctor
"What-opy" asked Delilah
"Entropy, it's a big...Sod's Law field thing" said the Doctor nonchalantly.
"Delilah, oi auntie" another girl ran towards them, a hippy version of Katie
"Thank you God, there is a Santa Claus" murmured Jack
"Jack" said the Doctor.
"This is Lili, Katie's twin sister, what's up girlie," Delilah said
"Laura's here with a couple of stiffs from the US Airforce" Lili replied
"Define stiff," Delilah said with a roll of her eyes.
"A blonde called Colonel Carter, a Colonel Sheppard who looks like he's stuck his fingers in a plug socket and some git called Dr McKay," she said. Delilah put her head in her hands
"I'm going to kill Colonel Caldwell," she muttered "what a coincidence, Rodney McKay and Sam Carter are here now," she said aloud
"Yeah, what a coincidence" replied the doctor.
