Kickin My Heart
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A/N: Okay I know I am in the middle of Chasing Secrets and YES I'M NOT ABANDONING YOU I AM STILL WORKING ON THE NEXT CHAPTER. But I needed a short break and decided to write a Kickin It one shot. I'm considering writing a follow up one shot called The Kissing Game so after you read please review with your thoughts on the story and the follow up idea. Thank you and enjoy!
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I throw a punch at her stomach but she dodges. Her leg swings towards my head and I duck. Sweat drips down my neck and I suck in shallow breaths as the sparring match continues. A smirk falls on my lips. I throw her off by faking a hit to the leg, then spin her around and flip her over my shoulder. She thumps hard against the mat. "Ugh!"
"You're getting better Crawford, but you're gonna have to work a little harder if you wanna actually beat me," I tease. She grunts.
Ever since we began sparring for real last night I've been getting a little bit nervous. I told her I didn't want to hurt her, but she laughed it off by responding with, "Why? I'm not afraid of hurting you," with mischief in those big brown eyes of hers.
But even though I desperately want to go easy on her when we spar, I know I can't. I respect her too much to do that again, and even though I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I hurt Kim, I'd feel worse if I didn't even give her a chance.
"At least I know now that you aren't just letting me win cause I'm a girl. It still kinda frustrated me," she mumbles, pushing herself off of the mat, and grabbing her water bottle from the bench.
"Kim, you know I respect you," I tell her seriously, following her to the bench. She doesn't understand that it's less that she's a girl and more that...well that she's Kim.
"It took more than it should have for you to get that respect though..." She says, now looking at me. I can tell there's hurt in her eyes. She really wants to know why after all we've been through I still treated her as if she wasn't capable of putting up a good fight.
My heart sinks. I hate seeing her like that. Her big brown eyes with all of that confusion and hurt because of something I did. This really means a lot to her...and it should.
"Kim I'm sorry. I just...I don't know. You know I think you're fantastic- and I know you can take care of yourself. But I'm a second degree black belt and that means that-"
"You have no problem sparring with Jerry," she pierces me with truth. She's right. "He's a yellow belt." She says coldly.
"Yeah but he's a-"
"A boy?"
"And you're a..-"
"A girl?" She shakes her head. "I just thought you were over this but I still see it in your eyes when we spar. There are multiple times when I know you could've beat me in that last match because of obvious mistakes I made...and you didn't take those opportunities. Jack you're still holding back and I'm getting sick of this. If you have something against fighting a perfectly competent human being just because she's a girl, then maybe I don't know you as well as I thought I did!" She bursts out all at once.
I sit awkwardly on that bench, fumbling with my towel in my hands. I know she's right. I drag out the matches but I always make sure I win so that she thinks I'm trying now. Well I was an idiot to think she wasn't smart enough to realize that. I should've just done it for real. "No- Kim please. I know what I was doing is messed up. I'm sorry. I just, I really don't want to hurt you and-"
"That's part of karate Jack," she laughs shaking her head. "Why is that such a big deal to you? I've given Milton broken bones before! Why is it suddenly so important?" She looks at me with confusion in her eyes.
And I know why. It's because I care about her more than I care about the guys. I can't stand to see her in any bit of pain and I hate the idea of being the one to cause it. I always look at her soft blonde locks and her petite frame and think how breakable she looks and it makes me draw back. Then she'll throw a punch and I remember what I'd told Ricky weaver. 'She's not like the others. On the outside she's like a cute, little lamb. But on the inside she's like a vicious, killer lamb.' I chuckle at the thought. But my smile fades fast. There's no way I'll be able to explain this to her without coming right out and telling her how I feel about her.
So her question...why is it suddenly so important- her getting hurt? Well before I couldn't control if she got hurt, and I know she's tough so I was always confident. Now when I'm the one who can do damage it scares me. That's the answer. But that doesn't explain why I'm okay with hurting Jerry and not her. I let out an exasperated sigh. She'll hate me for not telling her but I just can't. Not here and not now.
"You're unbelievable Jack," she shakes her head with anger and disappointment after a few moments of silence. My heart breaks to see that look on her face. "Talk to me when you have a reason or suddenly realize how much of a jerk you're being," she snaps before standing up, and stomping off into the girls locker room.
I press my hands to my face. I really screwed up this time. I let out a heavy sigh, before standing up and walking over to one of our training dummies and throwing punches and jabs at it.
Why don't I just tell her?
Cause she won't understand!
Why won't she?
Cause she doesn't like you that way, it'll ruin everything you've built!
Punch after punch I let out my frustration. How long will she stay angry? She has every right to be angry...
"Hey Jack! Wait-have you seen Kim? I thought she was training with you...woah...you seem a little upset there. Anything you wanna tell me about?" I hear Rudy's voice ask calmly as he enters the Dojo.
I grunt. "Kim's in the locker room. She's pissed at me," a hit to the chest, shoulder, face.
"Ohhh...that time of the month?" Rudy snorts.
I find myself suddenly pissed at Rudy. Who does he think he is making sexist assumptions about Kim like tha- oh...
I stop punching the dummy. I'm a really crappy friend. I am possibly the worst friend in history of friends.
"No," I snap at Rudy. "She has every right to be lividly pissed actually. I've been a jerk and I should go apologize," I say more gently.
Rudy looks surprised, but then proud. "That's the Jack I love- now go and fix your mistakes while I go call Bethany in my office! See ya!" He yells giddily, running off into his office.
I decide to wait until Kim comes out of the locker room to apologize, but after ten minutes she's not out and changed. Finally fed up with the anxiety of waiting so I march into the locker room and am met with a surprise.
The sound of a trickling shower-head meets my ears along with a beautiful voice ringing louder.
"No one said this would ever be easy my love," a feminine voice dances across the room.
No this is definitely not easy.
"But I will be by your side when the impossible rises up,"
Gosh I should've been there for her, not treat her like she isn't good enough to fight me.
"We will travel this life well worn,"
I guess getting hurt is part of karate.
"No matter the cost,"
I need to man up.
"No matter how long,"
Whatever happens I'm going to tell her.
"We will leave our footprints behind,"
If I want our friendship to last I need to be honest. Like the Wasabi Code.
"And carry on!"
However she responds life will continue.
"Carry on!"
And I'll be better off because of it.
"Carry-"
"Kim?" I ask nervously, standing on the damp locker room floor by the shower curtain.
"JACK?!" Her smooth and beautiful singing turns into a startled shriek. "What the hell are you doing in here?!" Anger layers her voice.
"Okay I know now might not be the best time-"
"I'm in the shower!"
"Like I said maybe not the best time," I say a little nervously. Gosh if this doesn't work she'll hate me even more. "I wanted to say I'm sorry."
"You couldn't have chosen a time when- oh I don't know-I'm not naked?!"
"Ohh...yeah that part...just please listen. Even if you hate me after just please listen. I wanted to say I'm sorry for treating you like you aren't good enough but the truth is you are way better than Jerry or Eddie or Milton or any other girl I've seen do karate. You're fantastic Kim." I tell her, letting all of my thoughts flow out.
"That really helps me understand why you haven't been treating me as adequate Jack!"
I can hear the pain in her voice. I know she wants to understand. "It's not because you're a girl that I'm so afraid of hurting you. It's because you're Kim." I tell her gently.
"Oh! Yes of course that makes sense! So it's not because of my gender, you just personally think that Kim Crawford is a weak human being! Really makes me feel better Jack!" She practically yells.
"No! No it's not like that! That isn't what I meant," I take a deep breath and let it explode. "What I mean is...I don't care about other girls Kim!"
Silence.
"I don't want to spar with you because I don't want to ever hurt you! I'm terrified that if something did happen it'd be my fault and I wouldn't be able to live with that Kim. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I hurt you," my voice is pleading now.
I can hear her shaky breathing from outside the curtain."But..what about Jerry? You care about him-" her voice is softer now, almost a whisper through the trickling water.
"I don't care about anyone as much as I care about you."
Silence.
My heart pounds wildly in my chest. I just indirectly told Kim I'm crazy about her in the girls locker room while she's standing naked in the shower. If there is anything more terrifying than that, I'd like to hear it.
"But...but Jack," she mumbles, astonishment in her voice. I can't bear to imagine what she's thinking right now.
"So I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I really didn't mean for you to end up feeling the way you did. It just sort of happened and I couldn't bring myself to tell you the real reason why I have so much trouble sparring you. But I'm done with that because I do care about you Kim and you're right. Getting hurt is part of karate, and if I can't respect you enough to spar you in karate correctly then I should be the one who's ashamed. I didn't realize how much I was already hurting you by doing this. Will you please forgive me?" I plead. I feel so vulnerable in this environment, completely opening up about feelings that have been churning inside of me for years.
But she must feel even more vulnerable given the circumstances.
"Jack," she says, "I- I didn't know you felt- well gosh." She rambles completely surprised. Then something beautiful happens. She laughs.
My nerves seem to fly away and the beautiful echoing of her laugh fills the room. I pull a deep breath and as I exhale I let my worries fade.
"I honestly thought you'd never say that," she pauses. "But I am...so, so glad you did," she laughs again in disbelief, and I can't help but smile at the sound of her relieving words. "Yes I forgive you! Agh, thank goodness! I was really worried you were turning into a stuck up jerk. Gosh you are literally the exact opposite!" She just laughs, freeing everything she's been angry about.
I laugh too, feeling a weight lift off of my shoulders. I didn't realize it was there, but it had been holding me down for so long.
"Gosh I wanna hug you right now!" She shouts. And I break down into uncontrollable laughter. "So go out so I can get dressed and then I am gonna hug you!" She laughs, and then I hear a huge bang.
"Woah! You okay?" I ask, my smile fading. It returns when I hear a faded chuckle.
"I fell over," she says in a small adorable voice, and just like that I wanna scoop her up and plant kisses all over her face. This girl has been driving me mad for ages and now that I know she feels the same way, she's unreachable. Gosh my luck!
"Awh! Did the poor baby fall over?" I tease her like I always do.
"Bahaha!" She laughs from the bottom of the shower. "Can you pass me my towel?"
"Here," I smile at the outstretched hand from the curtain, passing her a fluffy white towel.
"Thanks," she mumbles. "Now- Get out of the girls' locker room Jack Brewer!" She commands with mock frustration in her voice. Gosh she's adorable when she does that.
And gosh I never realized how bad I had it for this beautiful adorable human being.
I smile as I walk away, hearing the water turn off.
Rudy is now meditating with Milton in the center of the mats. I guess he finished his phone call. I sit down on the mat in between the two guys, joining in meditation.
I can't seem to focus though, because images of Kimberly Beulah Crawford keep running through my brain like a never ending movie. The first time I saw her and caught her apple. That time we roleplayed for Milton and she hated her princess costume. When we went to Circus Burger after she threw Ricky Weaver across the room. In every moment I've known her, Kim has been a fighter. And so that's what I'll let her be.
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Kim's POV
There are no words to explain the unbelievable joy I feel right now. He told me he cares about me. He can't possibly have any idea how much his words mean to me. I always melt at the very touch of his hand. Jack cares about me...more than anyone else. And there is no way he could ever know how much I care about him. I shake my head in disbelief. I still sit at the bottom of the shower, towel in hand, just taking in the information.
He never thought of me as incompetent. He never thought any of the guys were more important than me. He never wanted me to feel neglected. He just didn't want to hurt me. It's so strange that by trying not to hurt me, he ended up hurting me. But he realized this, and gosh I love him so much for it. I thought he was just being a jerk and went easy on be because I'm a girl.
I couldn't have been more wrong and I am so thankful that I am. I've always been drawn to Jack as more than a friend ever since I can remember. His dark gorgeous hair, and his beautiful brown eyes. Those adorable moles on his cheeks and that adorable smirk he gives me every time he wants to push my buttons. He exercises my patience but he's worth every frustration he's ever caused.
I sigh, letting all of my anger out with the breath. The day has come when Jackson Brewer has finally realized what's been right in front of him all this time.
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Jack's POV
I hear footsteps behind me, and immediately jump up from my position on the mat, causing Rudy and Milton's eyes to jolt open and look to what I'm doing.
I see her, and I swear in this moment, she's never looked more beautiful. Her delicate pink lips are pulled into a smile, and she runs at me with her arms outstretched. I pounce at her with open arms as well.
She collides against me as I wrap my arms tightly around her, forming a barrier against the outside world. Right now it's just us.
"You don't know how long I've waited for this," Kim mumbles against my chest. I lean my head down and plant a kiss on top of her head, running my fingers through her damp hair.
I somehow manage to pull her tighter against me, reveling in our closeness. Her arms wrap around my torso and she cuddles into my chest. This beautiful girl on the inside and outside is mine now. She's all mine and nobody else can have her.
"Holy Christmas Nuts!" Milton's voice splits through the dojo.
I reluctantly break the hug, but pull Kim close to my side, keeping an arm around her shoulders.
"When?! What!?" He flips, looking back and forth from me to Kim and back to me, then back to Kim.
Rudy only smirks, discreetly winking at me. Did he know about how I felt this whole time? There's no possible way he could've known. Is there? Am I really that transparent?
"Rudy...?" I ask suspiciously.
"If you're wondering if I was watching the security footage from the camera in the girls' locker room before you came out here you're being absolutely ridiculous," he laughs awkwardly, turning his head away from us.
"You have a WHAT?" Kim bursts, suddenly outraged. I hate to say it but she's really cute when she's angry.
"You have a VIDEO CAMERA in the locker room?! I was taking a shower!" She jabs a finger in Rudy's face. My eyes shoot wide. This will not end well for Rudy. Wait...Rudy has a video camera in the locker room?!
"Calm down it's not in the shower! I only eavesdropped on your very personal conversation..." He chuckles before realizing he messed up again.
"THAT'S IT!" Kim yells in Rudy's face before launching herself at him. Rudy's eyes shoot as wide as golf balls and I rush to hold her back, locking my arms around her waist.
Yup. Always been a fighter. But this time maybe it's best not to allow her to release her wrath on a poor helpless Sensei.
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Later that day
I stand at the mat, prepared to give her all I've got. This time no holding back.
"You promise you'll give it your all this time. Regardless of if you hurt me or not?" I take a deep breath. This is what she wants, this is what she deserves. I nod, earning a smile.
We bow, and a playful smirk falls on her lips. It's on. Immediately she launches a spinning back kick at me, and I duck. I throw a punch at her stomach, and she moves over. It continues that way. She throws a punch, I block it. I send a kick, she ducks. Punch, block, kick, swing, step. We spar with a rhythm, the only sounds being grunts and hits along with our labored breaths. The determination shimmers in her wide eyes, and I know this will be a tough fight.
Just as I send another kick, I see something different flash in her eyes. She ducks, before grabbing the collar of my gi, and yanking me forward. What is she doing?
A devilish grin crosses her face, and then it happens. Her soft delicate lips pressed against my own. My mind begins to spin, my hands fall to her hips, my knees turn to jelly.
And then I'm staring up at the ceiling, my back pressed firmly against the mat. I beautiful blonde girl stares down at me with a heavy smirk, holding a hand out to help me up.
She had flipped me.
I chuckle and take her hand, allowing her to pull me up.
"You're getting better Brewer, but you're gonna have to work a little harder if you wanna actually beat me," she grins, throwing my words back at me.
"That wasn't a karate move Kim," I smirk, pulling her close, pressing her against me.
"You're just embarrassed that I was able to distract you that much. Didn't know I had that kind of an affect on you Jack." She raises her eyebrows at me, almost daring me to kiss her again. And oh how I want to. Those lips are just begging me to kiss them.
And I do. This one is soft and gentle and real. Her arms reach up around my neck and rest there, clutching the collar of my shirt. I let one of my arms fall down to her hip and the other one cup her cheek gently.
As we pull away her eyes flutter open, and a dark blush falls on Kim's cheeks.
"You're blushing," I tease her, poking her nose with my finger.
"And you-" she struggles to find a comeback. She sighs exasperatedly and moves my head so I'm looking right at her.
"Fell for it again," my eyes shoot wide as I prepare for the inevitable thud against the mat.
Some things never change. But, even so, I couldn't be happier to be with the most dazzling, clever, gorgeous girl that's inhabited my mind since freshman year. She may think she's got the best of me, using her affect on me to her advantage. But now it's my turn to play the kissing game, and oh she won't know what's coming to her.
