A/N: Hey! Okay so this isn't a fic, not yet I haven't decided if I should write it or not… Anyway, I'm going to post a few solos, letters, that I wrote for an Roleplaying account, a Robin to be exact, that I have. The story is simple, Regina cheated on Robin with David. In this particular story Regina is an attorney, David a sheriff and Robin a therapist. David had a horrible falling out with Mary which is why he is in therapy with Robin (they become friends, somewhat) and begins telling Robin about this woman he met in his work (Regina). Regina and David always seemed to clash but one night of a bit too many drinks they ended up having sex and well things continued but Regina one day discovered that David is one of Robin's patients and decides to tell him the truth that he did not take well… But that isn't important here… Robin begins to go to therapy himself and her therapist suggest writing… So here are the letters.. enjoy!
Xoxo, Janice…
|xXx|
I always wished you would come back
Every day I would pray
But why was I asking for that?
The more the time that passed
The more I wondered
Why was I asking for someone to love me when they've made it abundantly clear that they don't anymore?
Why did I want someone so much?
Someone so heartless?
Why do we have a death grip
on the people that are trying to rip themselves away from us?
Why did I fooled myself in such a way that I no longer recognize who I am?
Dear Regina,
I don't even know where to begin. I was told that writing to you was supposed to make the pain in my chest hurt less. I don't want to get into the details of that dull ache in my heart, all I can say is that each day it grows more but at the same time it shrinks. What a contradiction, right? I thought so. I just cannot explain it, but it is how I feel. The ghost of the death grip you had in my heart still burns but I still find the means to keep on breathing. Don't know if that can be called living, God knows my life had turned rather dull since you walked away from us, from me. Still I breathe even if the fresh air is poison in my lungs.
Isn't it curious that I can find the words to write down but whenever it comes to facing you, confronting the new path our lives have taken I cannot even muster a single word that won't feel like a knife running through my skin, piercing my very fabric of existence? I think things had gone too far between us, don't you think? You destroyed me. But the worst part of all? I let you do so. I love you, so much that in the end killed my heart and still I hope that one day you'll see that you and I were always meant to be. I knew it from the very moment I met your gaze in that empty classroom all those years ago.
I just want to breathe without feeling like I'm drowning.
Will that ever be possible? Will I ever let go of the memories that meant the world to me? I... I don't know, maybe. Do I want to let you go? No, I don't. Even though I have to, even though I need to cleanse my mind and heart of you and be healthy again, I can't. I'm so accustomed to having in my life that I don't know how to take a step forward without looking at my side and seeing that you are there backing me up. This is no longer the case.
I hate to admit it, but you kept me sane.
But you are also driving me insane.
I don't even know why I'm writing you this letter, Regina. Is not like I've haven't told you these things before. Surely you must remember them? I know it may seem pathetic, and maybe it is but it was worth to try.
Oh Regina, why am I writing to this letter? Is not like you are going to read it, I don't have intention of giving it to you.
I hope it was worth it.
I hope discarding me like yesterday news had given you all you ever wanted. I'm still reeling from the pain you have inflected on me. Is not pretty, but I'm getting by, barely. One last thing, before I say goodbye I need to say, that I hope the next time your heart beats, it breaks your chest.
Till next time, no longer(always) yours,
Robin.
