A/N: I was reading My Hiccup chapter 44 by Jettara1 (great story, I recommend it, just watch out, there's quite a few sexual references but nothing too explicit) when I realized; If Stoick had died when Hiccup was young, Spitelout would have become regent for Hiccup. (Assuming you love the books like I do and pretend Stoick and Spitelout are brothers in the films and series) From there, the question arises: would Spitelout give Hiccup his birthright back if he became regent? After all, people weren't exactly fond of Hiccup for a long time. Thus, this one shot was born. This isn't a Christmas story, but happy Snoggletog anyway!

Two weeks after Hiccup had woken up after the Battle of the Red Death, Stoick had announced that he was going to call a Thing (a meeting of the tribes) to tell them what had happened with the dragons. Every tribe was going to attend except the Outcasts (they were never invited) and the Berserkers (Dagur had recently killed his father and was smothering the opposition, but the Berserkers claimed they were battling Romans). Even though the Outcasts and Berserkers weren't attending, several equally dangerous tribes were attending, such as the Uglithugs, the Murderous, and the Hysterics. Stoick was worried that war could break out because of the news, and forbade Hiccup from coming.

It was a wise move. While Hiccup was brilliant with a sword (something recently discovered when Astrid noticed that Hiccup wrote with his left hand and had been trying to use the sword with his right) he was still weak from the amputation and there was no way he could fight or run. Also, Stoick worried that the other Chieftains would seize the opportunity and kidnap themselves a master dragon trainer.

It wasn't to be a long voyage, only a week, so Stoick put the council in charge (adding Hiccup to it) instead of appointing an acting chief, as Hiccup was still exhausted most days.

Now Hiccup, Astrid, and Snotlout sat on a cliff, legs (five and a half) dangling over the edge. They were simply relaxing after helping Hiccup with his therapy, which Snotlout was surprising supportive of.

Snotlout leaned backwards a bit. "Let's stay here awhile. My Dad's been in a bad mood since Uncle Stoick left."

Astrid turned her attention to Snotlout. "Why?"

Hiccup snorted. "Isn't it obvious?"

"No. Why's Spitelout angry?" Hiccup lay back and exchanged a knowing glance with Snotlout.

Snotlout grimaced. "Hiccup, you know I don't feel the same way as my Dad, right? I mean, I used to believe him, but now… I was… wrong." The words left a bitter taste in Snotlout's mouth, but his younger cousin's beam made up for it.

Hiccup smiled happily at Snotlout. "Thanks, 'lout. That… that means a lot."

Snotlout returned the smile in a rare gesture of familial love. "Of course, Hiccup. After all, I am your second in command and protector." Snotlout puffed out his chest proudly as Hiccup giggled at Snotlout.

Astrid scowled. "Someone tell me what's going on, or I'm getting my axe."

Hiccup looked at Snotlout, silently asking for permission. Snotlout nodded, reluctantly. "Yeah, Hiccup, Astrid deserves to know." Snotlout looked at Astrid. "You sure you want to hear about our family's issues?"

Astrid hesitated. "If you can't tell me, it's-"

Snotlout cut her off. "Nah, it's fine, it's not exactly a secret. Dad isn't quiet in his opinions, and if you're in our family or were an adult when Hiccup was born, you know. Hiccup, can you explain? I don't really… like talking about it."

Hiccup nodded and turned to Astrid, a solemn look on his face. "Astrid, as you know, Snotlout is a year and a half older than me, and before I was born, he was the heir of Berk. Of course, when I was born, I became the heir. Spitelout was angry about that, and it didn't help that I was born on February the 29th, and a runt. My name, Hiccup, literally means 'mistake.' My Dad didn't even realize that when he named me, he named me after my other two ancestors who were named Hiccup Horrendous Haddock, because they were legendary, even though they too were runts.

Anyway, Spitelout has made it clear many times that he doesn't think I'm fit to be the heir. The only reason he didn't actively try to remove me from my position is that I am his nephew, even if he doesn't exactly love me, and everyone thought that I would die or be banished before the age of sixteen. Snotlout was appointed to be my protector and future second in command by my dad. Spitelout didn't like that either.

The problem is, if Dad had died, or dies before I'm eighteen, gods forbid, Spitelout would have become my regent, acting as chief until I'm eighteen. The problem is, if he decides not to let me become chief, he could have banished me when I next screwed up, or at least replaced me with Snotlout. Now that the village likes me, it would be much more difficult, but if something happens with the dragons, it's still possible. Sorry Snotlout." Snotlout just shrugged. He knew what his father felt, and agreed with Hiccup.

Hiccup continued. "Anyway, Spitelout expected to be named acting chief in Dad's absence, but Dad isn't stupid. No offense, Snotlout, but your Dad doesn't exactly have the temperament for chiefing and he didn't really want to leave Spitelout in charge, just in case. So he put the council in charge." Hiccup sighed and stared off into the sea. "I'm worried. What if Dad doesn't come back? Not only would my Dad be… gone, but what would happen to me?"

Snotlout reached across Astrid and laid an oddly supportive hand on Hiccup's shoulder. "Whatever happens, I'm with you, cousin."

Hiccup grinned. "Thanks, Snotlout."

"Of course, I'd make a great heir."

"And he's back."

Astrid interrupted the friendly bickering. "Tribal politics are complicated."

Hiccup groaned loudly. "Oh, you have no idea."

Snotlout snickered. "Big Boobied Bertha nearly got her daughter and Hiccup engaged when they were five." Astrid visibly stiffened, but relaxed at Hiccup's reply.

"That would have been awful. Camicazi's practically my sister!"

Snotlout grimaced. "You two turn into destructive whirlwinds when you get together."

Hiccup grinned. "It's pretty crazy when me, Cami, and Fishlegs get together."

"You three keep getting kidnapped."

"Oh shut up. It wasn't our fault we got kidnapped by Romans."

"And the Hysterics."

"Not my fault Norbert hates me."

"You stole his potato."

"I needed it! Fishlegs… well, actually, I guess I was dying."

Astrid looked alarmed. "What?!"

Hiccup waved his hand dismissively. "Oh, nothing. It turned out fine."

"Isn't fate artistic?"

"I will shove Astrid's axe down your throat, Snotlout!" Astrid looked startled at Hiccup's violent outburst, but Snotlout just grinned.

"Try Norbert's Axe of Doom."

"Shut up, Snotlout."

A/N: Sorry for all the book references. Some of you may not understand them, but hopefully most of you will. And I'm pretty sure the story's still enjoyable if you haven't read the books. Most of the references were from How to Cheat a Dragon's Curse, though there were mentions of books 3 and 6. My favorite books are books 2 and 10 tho. Alvin and jellyfishes in skirts! Isn't fate artistic? XD